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Posted

I obviously have an issue with women. I made it all through college without having a girl attracted to me enough to want to kiss me or have sex with me. I am unfortunately a virgin at 22 (for those who do not know). I told a friend about my issue and he is good with women. He said the only solution to is to learn game. Our conversation went something like this... "So you really want to be a virgin at 23?" "No not really." "Then there's no way around it. You must learn game."

 

At first, I really had no idea what that meant so I looked it up and went to sites he told me about. It's incredible what you find on the Internet really. I saw a whole bunch of misogynistic things and it seems really overcomplicated. But he said he used this stuff and looked at the sites and it really helped him he said.

 

I just want to know if I need "game" to succeed.

Posted

You don't need "game", but you do need self confidence and big enough stones to ask a woman out.

 

So how many new women are you talking to each day? How many are you asking out?

  • Like 2
Posted

No you don't need these stupid "player" tricks that are so prevalent on PUA sites etc. If you want a meaningful relationship then you're better off being yourself than putting on a complete act just to get laid.

 

However self-confidence is very important and it is very much worthwhile to work on that. There are a lot of tips you can get from these PUA sites for that. I'm not suggesting by any means that you try the cheesy things they suggest like negging and kino and stupid palm-reading tricks that anyone over the age of 12 will see through in an instant. But a lot of the concepts and situations they present are useful to think about, how you would respond in such a situation, and what your response might suggest to a woman. IMO, they are interesting to read but rather than learning the canned responses you should put your own personality into it.

Posted
I obviously have an issue with women. I made it all through college without having a girl attracted to me enough to want to kiss me or have sex with me. I am unfortunately a virgin at 22 (for those who do not know). I told a friend about my issue and he is good with women. He said the only solution to is to learn game. Our conversation went something like this... "So you really want to be a virgin at 23?" "No not really." "Then there's no way around it. You must learn game."

 

At first, I really had no idea what that meant so I looked it up and went to sites he told me about. It's incredible what you find on the Internet really. I saw a whole bunch of misogynistic things and it seems really overcomplicated. But he said he used this stuff and looked at the sites and it really helped him he said.

 

I just want to know if I need "game" to succeed.

 

I don't have game. You don't need game. You just need to be a good guy with confidence and the guts to talk to women. Be yourself. Be honest. If you can identify areas where you can improve (looks, confidence, conversation, etc.) then work to improve those areas. But you don't have to have game. That's a silly notion.

Posted

If "game" is synonymous with confidence, yes you need game. If game is all the BS you read on the internet about making her want you & a bunch of power trips, just pay a pro to take your virginity. . . . It would be more honest.

  • Like 2
Posted

The amusing thing with Internet dating techniques from Youtube, etc. is that 90% of them are by young people ...under 30. Little life experience but 'experts'. I always imagine 40 year olds watching some 25 year old for the secrets on 'how to a attract a woman'.

Posted

My lack of "game" is my biggest problem because I don't think I'm ugly(maybe average)

Posted

If you have a 1967-1981 v8 camaro you dont need game :)

Posted
If you have a 1967-1981 v8 camaro you dont need game :)

 

I was sort of thinking something similar . . . lead with the car.

  • Author
Posted
The amusing thing with Internet dating techniques from Youtube, etc. is that 90% of them are by young people ...under 30. Little life experience but 'experts'. I always imagine 40 year olds watching some 25 year old for the secrets on 'how to a attract a woman'.

 

But what if those 25 year olds were more successful in dating than the 40 year olds? Age doesn't always equal experience, you know. Some people just get lucky.

Posted

OP, having been where you are, IMO the more outlier you are (and 22yo male virgins are outlier), the more 'different' and 'not yourself' you'll need to be to overcome the obstacles which are thrust into your path via social convention, mainly to 'stand out' from your fellow male competitors who are currently piling right over you in the dating and mating process.

 

Tip: There are no rewards in life for doing the right thing. If you follow your 'right' path, it will be your path only. Don't expect anything to come your way. If it doesn't fit in with your demographic, it'll be a long, lonely stretch of road with few services and little scenery.

 

Up to you. BTW, 67-69 were the golden years ;) I cracked up when a young guy asked me if I bought my 64.5 Mustang new. I replied, no, because I was five at the time. Racing vintage cars was a great distraction during those years of walking my own path. Now it's just a rewarding hobby. Good luck.

Posted
I made it all through college without having a girl attracted to me enough to want to kiss me or have sex with me.

 

 

 

I just want to know if I need "game" to succeed.

 

 

If you hav been unable to attract a woman then you need to learn what traits and characteristics women are attracted to and develop those traits and characteristics in yourself. (As well as learn what traits and characteristics turn them off and get rid of those in yourself)

 

If you don't want to call that "Game" then don't. But it's obvious what you have been doing isn't working and you need to try something else. Whether you want to call it "game" or not is up to you.

Posted
OP,

 

IMO the more outlier you are (and 22yo male virgins are outlier), the more 'different' and 'not yourself' you'll need to be to overcome the obstacles

 

 

.

 

In other words, the more you are going to have to push yourself outside of your own comfort zone.

 

In the early stages if you aren't feeling uncomfortable, unnatural, awkward, clumsy, scared or even downright terrified.... you aren't trying hard enough.

 

But if you keep at it successes will eventually come and it will get easier.

Posted

Caution: When hit on by married women, retreat to comfort zone, as conforming behaviors strayed too far. :D

Posted (edited)
But what if those 25 year olds were more successful in dating than the 40 year olds? Age doesn't always equal experience, you know. Some people just get lucky.

 

Not really. The 25 year olds are probably 25 year olds living in their mother's basement dispensing info to guys who have lived in a basement for 15 years longer.

 

Re the car. The successful guys are happy to let you lead with your Camarro. Less competition. There is a pattern. Some 30 years old just don't get that most 30 year old women are attracted to the guy in the Toyota Corolla.... responsible. If you want to impress other men...get the fancy car. You want to impress a woman, have your student debts paid off and have invested in your own house.

 

Guys often talk about wanting the hot woman. Remember she has been hot since high school. She has 'been there, done that' by 25. A car might have impressed her at 16 but not at 30.

Edited by Eau Claire
  • Author
Posted
Not really. The 25 year olds are probably 25 year olds living in their mother's basement dispensing info to guys who have lived in a basement for 15 years longer.

 

Re the car. The successful guys are happy to let you lead with your Camarro. Less competition. There is a pattern. Some 30 years old just don't get that most 30 year old women are attracted to the guy in the Toyota Corolla.... responsible. If you want to impress other men...get the fancy car. You want to impress a woman, have your student debts paid off and have invested in your own house.

 

Guys often talk about wanting the hot woman. Remember she has been hot since high school. She has 'been there, done that' by 25. A car might have impressed her at 16 but not at 30.

 

Some people do get lucky. They just walk into relationships without having any say about the matter. I don't want that to be me. I also don't care about a "hot" woman, not for anything long term anyway. Very attractive women are almost always trouble.

 

As far as impressing people goes, I could care less. If you don't like me or what I'm about then I don't care to have you in my line of sight.

 

If you hav been unable to attract a woman then you need to learn what traits and characteristics women are attracted to and develop those traits and characteristics in yourself. (As well as learn what traits and characteristics turn them off and get rid of those in yourself)

 

If you don't want to call that "Game" then don't. But it's obvious what you have been doing isn't working and you need to try something else. Whether you want to call it "game" or not is up to you.

 

 

Sounds like "game" to me.

Posted

Yes you do need game to succeed with women unless you are very good looking.

 

Though game pretty much comes down to being confident, funny, flirting and being bold.

 

If you want to be more than friends with a woman, you cannot talk to them like they are guys.

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