Jmar10 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Hello guys! So i have been on and off with this girl for about 4 years, we had a lot of ups and downs in our history but long story short we took a 4 month break of no contact from may to august. We met up a few days before the start of this previous fall semester, started hanging out again and eventually got back together. I'm a junior and she is a freshman at the same college. At first things were good but quickly it went sour, stupid little things blew up into big arguments and she had trouble getting over the fact that I slept with someone during our four month split. She said she didn't sleep with anyone but she kissed a bunch of guys during the summer and had little flings with them. I felt bad but she ended things with me and it got to the point where i doubted she would come back. I don't blame her for the breakup because it was toxic but I didn't know what to say whenever should would bring up the other girl and bash her. Anyways I can't deny the fact that she gave a lot of effort to the relationship when we got back together, and started feeling comfortable and wasn't always giving 100% myself. It got to the point where I was wondering if maybe this isn't what I wanted, maybe there's more for me out there. We got into a big fight and the next day she came over and told me a kid who is in a frat and in her class asked her to formal and she wanted me to give her a reason why she should tell him no. I always hated how she would let guys "linger" around and when she told me about this I got furious and I eventually broke up with her later that day, I was hesitant but I felt like i had to stand my ground. So she was pissed, went to formal and ended up hooking up with the dude a few days later, I wasn't surprised because whenever we broke up she would usually kiss someone at parties and stuff but I can't have double standards. We met up after hoping to be friends and she told me she kissed someone and I was annoyed, but that same night we ended up having sex...She was really upset after that and said it was my fault it happened. Anyways I went on a cruise for a week and we didn't really talk much, when i got back I saw her talking to these guys on twitter and hanging out with people who when we were dating would talk **** on and be like ew hes gross blah blah. I called her fake and we didn't talk for the rest of break. When I got back to school this semester (3 weeks ago) she asked for her Ihome and clothes back and we ended up agreeing to be friends, we then hung two fridays again and low and behold had sex. She got upset and guilty but I can't lie as for myself it brought some feelings back. I started to miss her more and more until I finally texted her a bunch of **** saying i'm sorry for breaking up with you I didn't really want to but we were both unhealthy, take me back i'll give it 100%...she said no obviously, she said she wants me in her life as a friend right now because she loves me and then stopped responding, I basically handed her the power and pushed her away even more. I honestly just had a moment and I feel pathetic and embarrassed because I wasn't thinking rationally at all. Now I feel fixated on her, I constantly look at her twitter, I've drunk dialed her twice which wasn't a good idea either. The thing is she seems completely fine, she has her roommates and "clique" now and is going out to frats probably meeting a bunch of new guys. I mean I don't blame her for having fun and meeting new friends but I just can't get her out of my head. I wished that for once when we dated we were on the same page like it was when we first started dating. I'm just having a hard time moving on because we are still "friends," we haven't spoken in a few days, the last time we did I apologized for trying to push her to getting back together and I told her wont try anything like that again, she thanked me and that's been it. I understand why she might be over it i mean how many times do we have to try to realize we just don't click, its just ****ty because I constantly think about her and wonder what she is doing. I feel stuck. What should i do? Sorry for the massive walls of text, just reaching out and typing this whole story has me feeling a little better.
erklat Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 There is no trick. You can't cut corners on this. NC is your best bet. I think she is obviously content with sex which you could take to your advantage but you'll have to suck it and move on for the time being. Rationalize with a fact it is toxic now. I know it sucks hearing this as you're in pain etc but there is no other way that will yield results.
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