windmask Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Hey everyone so i need your advice on something its important to me thats why am asking. in the past you guys gave me awesome advice and ive always gone with it in my hardest times. so a little back ground regarding the story. so i met this girl we are both weird which works because we love that about one another we got along great everyone around us took notice. one issue she has a boyfriend. so i like this girl but i said shes my friend and shes got a boyfriend i shouldnt get in the middle and i never did she would say terrible things about her boyfriend and it always avoided commenting on the guy. as 2014 came around i thought i seriously like this girl but in no realistic manner i can be with her because of her boyfriend so its probably better if i just back and she kind of figured that i was backing off too. so one day she just asked me "do you like me" and am the type to always tell the truth i responded "yea i really do but ur with someoone else so i didnt feel right in telling you". turns out she did too however we from different religion so the same day shes saying how she would break off with her bf etc and if i wanted to be with her i had to convert although shes not religious but her parents are. and am just like righttt. i knew she would come back with 100 questions the next day. and she did so the next day it was weird this time she says how she cant leave her boyfriend and how she did wrong but her bf never left her so she cant do the same to him even though she doesnt see it going anywhere. she asked to be friends but i declined i said it would be best not to. but that entire week she kept asking to be friends so i said fine lets meet up. when we met up she starts by reminding me how she cant leave her bf i said fine. because i was there for the friendship. anyhows so she said "if you want to be my friend you can but it doesn't matter to me". i responded by saying if it doesn't matter to you whats the point then. as i was about to leave she says "if we run into each other in the hall way will we say hi or no"? i said what would u like she said "doesnt matter to me" i said fine i guess we wont. then as i was leaving she said "i know your going to call me tonight" i just said ahh no so i didnt call her its been a week we do run into each other its become really awkward i tell you. it does bother me a lot because we were good friends but i felt i was made to look desperate if i said sure lets be friends even though u dont care. it just bothers me how well we got along and how much i fell for this girl so fast only to have everything turn out the way it did. i guess i just need anyone reading this story like there view on it if possible thank you in advance.
OhThatGirl Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Wait. How old are you? Is this the hallway at school? Ignore it and move on. She has a boyfriend. And wait.. Did she really say she needed you to convert to a different religion? What?? Was she joking? Move on. It was just that - a crush gone wrong. If there is something to be learned from this situation is that it's not a good idea to put yourself in a situation where you can develop feelings for someone who has a boyfriend and you can't be "just friends" with a crush.
Trimmer Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 it just bothers me how well we got along and how much i fell for this girl so fast only to have everything turn out the way it did. i guess i just need anyone reading this story like there view on it if possible thank you in advance. It seems like you got along so well when things were working for her, but when things didn't go exactly her way (you wouldn't convert) she started playing mind games, pressing you to "be friends", but then acting ambivalent about it. If she were truly a "friend", she would try to meet you halfway, figure out how to make the friendship work, and not play games with you like this. I wonder if she feels a little weird that she didn't have the power over you to get you to convert, so now she's sort of punishing you with her ambivalence. Again: games. Might this be an indicator of what kind of a partner she would be in a relationship? Power games? Just some thoughts... 1
Chi townD Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Nope! Sorry! You shouldn't have to change your beliefs in order to conform to someone else's religious preferences. I know a bunch of couples that are from different religions an they get along great! They go you there own churches, temples or whatever and meet up later! Even if they don't understand each others beliefs, at least they can respect them. I don't know too many religions that are that hardlined that would condemn interfaith DATING. Maybe some Jewish, or Muslims, or Amish (although she wouldn't be in school with you if that was the case). Even Mormons aren't that hardlined as far as DATING is concerned. Marriage is a different story.
Author windmask Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 hey everyone thanks for that little insight. so yes we go to the same university and all and we run into each other. so i was going yesterday i ran into her she did come up and said hi and it was getting weird. so i said hey listen i dont like this awkwardness at all and even though we kinda walked away we still feel weird. shes like its true we both decided to kind of make peace she said its odd how all her room mates became my friends because they tell her how they spoke to me about this topic or that thing and it was fun. so said i guess am very friendly i get along with everyone really. so we made peace, as the conversation went on i found shes really strange. by strange i mean since ive known her shes always complained about her boyfriend how he never chills with her etc and how she wants to break up and how she doesnt see them together so for the first time yesterday she said oh how she loves him now etc. i said ok regarding your bf i wish you the best but ive never commented on him before and i wont now but hope you guys make it. she asked why cant i comment on him or her view on him i just said its not my place really.. so yea made peace but will keep my distance still. thank you all for your advice.
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