David_1 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Hi everyone, I had been friends with a person who I'll refer to as 'X' for just about two or three years - she is almost ten years younger than me (she's 20, I'm almost 30). We initially dated, but then split and became friends. I was then single most of the duration of our friendship until I met 'Y' last year, in August/September. During mine and Y's initial dating period, X would send loads of messages, sometimes a whole barrage of them while I was trying to spend time with Y. Things like, "this lovey dovey period won't last" - etc etc etc. Anyway, to cut a long story short, she was very unpredictable and once even emailed Y, explaining all the ways in which X thought she wasn't a bad person, etc etc. I had no idea she was going to send this email, so you can imagine the drama that caused. Cut to a few weeks ago, and Y found out I was still in touch with X. She threatened to leave, said she'd had enough - basically, making me choose. I then felt it best to end contact with my friend - not only because Y had made me choose but just because of the stress it was bringing. At the end of the day, I'm 29 - this is me settling down. I've not had the best time with women, and I genuinely love this one. I don't want to go back to dating, chasing women etc. If this relationship doesn't end up working out then that's cool, but I don't want it messed up before it's time by some immature person - even if they are meant to be a friend. So anyway, I told my friend all this tonight - I explained why we couldn't be friends and everything. She didn't take it very well, and started berating me for choosing a relationship over a friend. Which I can understand - but I have my reasons. Did I do the right thing? Should I have done anything different? What would you have done?
deathandtaxes Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 X sounds very jealous of your relationship. What she did is wrong and shows an extreme lack of immaturity. You do what's right for YOU. If that means cutting ties with X because X will sabotage (and she has already tried to sabotage your relationship with Y), then cut ties with X. Y has a right to be upset about X. Imagine if one of Y's guy friends told you off and said you were not good for Y, how would you feel?
pyramid Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 She isn't a friend - she is sabotaging a relationship that you are very happy in. You did the right thing. 2
MrMeh Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 You absolutely did the right thing. You chose the person who has been patient with you over the person who has been incessantly nagging at you. Take this as a lesson learned and don't hide anything from your lover again.
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