heyitsmike Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 My ex-girlfriend and i were from the same high school and dated for 3.5 years. obviously since we go to the same school we share similar social groups and combined ours naturally. shes 2 years younger than me and we went to the same college as well, where i recently just graduated from. some of my friends either go to this same college or come up to visit a lot due to the close proximity of my hometown. fast forward a year later. after an ugly dragged out break up, we've both moved on with other people, but whenever I'm with my friends they seem completely normal, but then i hear things from other people indirectly and even know it to be true myself that my friends still socialize and maybe even hang out with her. my natural emotion and instinct is that of betrayal almost (most of these people I've confided in and know how terrible our break up was for me). but i understand still that they are still friends because they have been, and also i cant tell people who and who NOT to hang out with. i guess what im asking is, can anyone help me or give me some advice as to how to maybe feel better or get over this because its just really annoying to have to think about and dwell on occasionally .
d0nnivain Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 You two basically shared growing up together. In that respect she will always be a part of your life. Right now that isn't so great because the break up is still fresh. At your 20 year reunion, it will be sweet. For now, expand your circle of friends. The older you get the less likely it is that you will always & only hang out with people from school. 1
CC12 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 You already realize that you can't tell your friends who they can be friends with, so I can thankfully skip that part. I don't know if this will make you feel better, but back when you were with your ex, surely you appreciated and valued your friends being cool to her, and her being able to get along with your friends. If you didn't appreciate it back then, you should have. Imagine how different those years would have been if they didn't like each other - you would have had to keep your girlfriend and your friends separate. You would have been the guy who couldn't hang out with his buddies much because his girlfriend didn't like them. And you would probably have lost touch with some or all of those people. So try to appreciate and value that all those friendships still exist to this day. Things would probably be a lot worse without them.
VeronicaRoss Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Here's the other side of it, her friends (them) are still hanging out with you too. In other words, if they were the people to choose a side you may have a lot fewer people around you than you suspect. It can be one of the ugliest aspects of a breakup. I can appreciate the pain. You said it was a rough breakup and so she probably said and did regrettable things that make you wonder how they could think it was ok. It's possible did regrettable things they're overlooking too. Be glad that your mutual friends are willing to over look it all and see the good in YOU!
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