deathandtaxes Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 OP - go on the meet and greet date. What do you have to lose? You never know...
Fondue Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Her response is like saying, "I wanted the sex, but I guess I'll settle for a blowjob." See how off putting that sounds? Exactly what she did. Terrible manners. Anyway, wanted to say: I would avoid friday/sat night dates for a while, to be honest. Especially when you're meeting someone new. Also, I wouldn't do a coffee/light snack (and especially dinner) to begin with. Drinks and arcade was my go-to meetup with almost all the girls I went out with for the first time. Never failed. They all wanted to go for a second date soon after. It's loose, fun, and not intrusive.
alphamale Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I was planning on meeting this girl after work on friday and suggested 2 different areas. One was starbucks and the other was place u can get pizza and sandwiches from called Cosi's. Then she sends this text "I guess I will choose cosi since u r not taking me to a real restaurant" No way I can meet her now. I explained I don't treat women to restaurants the 1st time because I wanna be sure we click. I am in no position to be treating someone to dinner the 1st time and may not see them again. The restaurant always came after date number 1. So she doesn't know it but she blew it that. yeah Cosi is pretty much at the bottom of the spectrum. The problem is that some chicks won't go out with u again unless you spend some money on them the first date. The better looking they are the more you have to spend on date one.
GemmaUK Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Lol! I'm sure you have another you can 'slide up the list' as you mentioned just a few days ago when the last one lost interest. Have fun with the next and better luck next time!
pickflicker Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I agree that what this person said was definitely rude. But scheduling a meet & greet on a Fri. night is not good form. Friday night is someone's personal primetime. You don't give your Fri. nights to strangers, you give them to friends. If I were a girl and a guy who's a stranger from the internet asked me on a Fri. night date I'd be like come on man. Who do you think you are, my bf? If the woman here misinterpreted his text I can at least understand her being irritated with that part about it. You raise a really good point. I tell a guy asking me for a drink that I'm free in the middle of the week - I'm busy on Monday nights with trivia, and on Friday, I have just finished work for the week, if I don't have plans with friends, I like to be at home. Starbucks isn't popular here (it went out of business, lol), but is there something about going to a bar that does food that is a problem? You can have a couple of drinks to loosen up, if the date is going well, order dinner, if not, you can part ways. In any case - she's a rude one, flick it. Any of the creative methods suggested by other posters would be fine. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 yeah Cosi is pretty much at the bottom of the spectrum. The problem is that some chicks won't go out with u again unless you spend some money on them the first date. The better looking they are the more you have to spend on date one. Huh... for real? Really? I'm considered probably around an 8 by most guys (opinions asked of friends a while back) and the amount a guy spends on me on date one is utterly irrelevant. If someone seems tight I won't see them again (Such as the dude the other week who I ordered coffees together with, and he told the server we were splitting... no issues obviously with taking it in turns to pay for a couple coffees but splitting one £4 order!?) but still, that's part of the bigger picture. Another guy I went out with I bought my own first drink as I got there first, he arrived and bought his, and then he bought us a round and then I bought the last couple drinks. So we spent equal, same as with 'let's split the coffees' dude. But the gesture of buying me a drink was what mattered, even though I bought him one right back afterwards. And I've been on dates where the guy has dropped £50 on dinner and not felt the spark and not see him again. IMO if you can't afford to spend that kind of money on someone you might never see again, don't. Go for coffee, or a walk in the park with a picnic. If a girl doesn't want to see you again because you haven't spent enough money on her then trust me, you dodged one hell of a money sucking bullet. I also don't get this 'Friday/Saturday nights are for partners or friends' stuff. I can honestly say I don't truly care which night or day of the week I see a guy on for a first date. Some weeks, Saturday night is all I've got left free (After the other nights and days are filled with work, studies, or pre-existing plans with friends). I truly can't fathom how someone can be offended if they're asked out on a Friday/Saturday night (didn't someone say 'who are you, my boyfriend?' to that?) maybe it's the only nights the dude has free!? 3
henderson14 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 I agree that what this person said was definitely rude. But scheduling a meet & greet on a Fri. night is not good form. Friday night is someone's personal primetime. You don't give your Fri. nights to strangers, you give them to friends. If I were a girl and a guy who's a stranger from the internet asked me on a Fri. night date I'd be like come on man. Who do you think you are, my bf? If the woman here misinterpreted his text I can at least understand her being irritated with that part about it. Ya, you asked her to give up her Friday evening, so I guess she was expecting more. She is still way out of bounds though. I would have asked her if she was being sarcastic, and then just stop responding or tell her something came up and never contact her again. She'll get the point and hopefully apologize
Leigh 87 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Umm. Well I am always thrilled when I guy asks me out, and when he is kind enough to pay for my meal. Even at that joint I would have been thrilled. It should be about the company and the time you spend together, but whether or not it is a 5 star restaurant. 4
Author WP4046 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 I agree that what this person said was definitely rude. But scheduling a meet & greet on a Fri. night is not good form. Friday night is someone's personal primetime. You don't give your Fri. nights to strangers, you give them to friends. If I were a girl and a guy who's a stranger from the internet asked me on a Fri. night date I'd be like come on man. Who do you think you are, my bf? If the woman here misinterpreted his text I can at least understand her being irritated with that part about it. Well I was meeting someone else on saturday and sunday is off limits due to the Superbowl
Author WP4046 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 Yeah that would turn me off if I were a guy. I don't blame guys that don't take me to dinner the first time I'm meeting them. It's expensive I'm sure and they prob. don't wanna drop money on someone they don't even know yet. Good choice to not go out with her! Now sometimes it's ok to take the risk of treating someone to dinner on the 1st date if you have a lot of savings and credit but the fact that I just started working a month ago is no time to be taking that risk lol I am only willing to spend the money i would spend in a restaurant if she came to my place. Other than that I ain't doing it
Author WP4046 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 yeah Cosi is pretty much at the bottom of the spectrum. The problem is that some chicks won't go out with u again unless you spend some money on them the first date. The better looking they are the more you have to spend on date one. well I may not be able to date until may
deathandtaxes Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Now sometimes it's ok to take the risk of treating someone to dinner on the 1st date if you have a lot of savings and credit but the fact that I just started working a month ago is no time to be taking that risk lol I am only willing to spend the money i would spend in a restaurant if she came to my place. Other than that I ain't doing it Dating is costly. Period. If you don't have the coin, you better be really creative, because invariably dating involves a lot of going out and doing things which may or may not cost money. Your expectations are a little off if you expect a lady to come to your place just because you paid for dinner. You offer dinner because you want to offer dinner, not because you want to get laid. Just my two cents. 2
Thegreatestthing Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Women see this as a reflection of their value,if she's highly valuable she's worth the resteraunt,if she is not worth much she is cosi's,so it's some dig to her self esteem. It's kind of silly cause it's all about meeting the person and seeing how you get on ,not about personal value... but many girls see it this way,not all but quite a few. Maybe she feels if she had been this or that she would have been worth the expense,she sees herself as premium. 1
Author WP4046 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 Women see this as a reflection of their value,if she's highly valuable she's worth the resteraunt,if she is not worth much she is cosi's,so it's some dig to her self esteem. It's kind of silly cause it's all about meeting the person and seeing how you get on ,not about personal value... but many girls see it this way,not all but quite a few. Maybe she feels if she had been this or that she would have been worth the expense,she sees herself as premium. what she doesn't know is even if things go well I won't be able to see her again until 2/21 lol
glimpse Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 She seems spoiled and bossy, that she's entitled for some reason. On the other hand, first impressions can really go a long way. Based on her text, her first impression just lost major points.
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Women see this as a reflection of their value,if she's highly valuable she's worth the resteraunt,if she is not worth much she is cosi's,so it's some dig to her self esteem. It's kind of silly cause it's all about meeting the person and seeing how you get on ,not about personal value... but many girls see it this way,not all but quite a few. Maybe she feels if she had been this or that she would have been worth the expense,she sees herself as premium. The girls that equate value to money spent are the girls you want to avoid, surely? For me the 'value' is inherent in the fact that we've chosen to take time out of our lives to spend it with one another. Whether it's walking around a forest with the dog, going for a fancy dinner, a cup of coffee is irrelevant. It's a waste of everyone's time and money to go out for an entire evening and have a meal and drinks etc. when you know within the first few minutes that you're not into them. Are some women really like this? None that I know!
soccerrprp Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 I was planning on meeting this girl after work on friday and suggested 2 different areas. One was starbucks and the other was place u can get pizza and sandwiches from called Cosi's. Then she sends this text "I guess I will choose cosi since u r not taking me to a real restaurant" No way I can meet her now. I explained I don't treat women to restaurants the 1st time because I wanna be sure we click. I am in no position to be treating someone to dinner the 1st time and may not see them again. The restaurant always came after date number 1. So she doesn't know it but she blew it that. Sorry man. Never experienced such a thing, but I know it happens more often than it should. When I'm communicating before a date, I get a feel of what they expect in that realm, but then again, I always take my dates to a restaurant if an "eating" date. It doesn't have to be an expensive one, but it is always an order and be served type. Anyway, she was totally rude. Good you nixed her.
Phantom888 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 She is mid 20's and I'm mid 30's Wait a minute, I think I'm gonna offend some here, but I'm still gonna say this: You are in your mid 30s, and you would only invest in a full dinner if you "click"? Yes times are tough, but that just sounds so CHEAP. What's wrong with dinner on the 1st date, and have a really good time getting to know someone? I can't imagine a woman taking you seriously if you can't even invest in a dinner for the 1st date. I mean, that just sounds petty and cheap, which are horrible 1st impressions. Understand that women want to be treated with respect. Coffee and fast food are okay if you two are already close, and want something non-fancy. If you gonna make a good impression, you have to take her to dinner or something nicer. Especially women in their 20s who believe "older" men know better. You are totally acting like someone her age, who have no clue how to treat a woman. Bottom line: Dating is expensive. If you can't afford to date, you should date someone who will pay for you. Yes plenty of women would go for that, but young ladies in their 20s probably won't settle for that, unless you are really good in bed. 4
Author WP4046 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 She doesn't get full blame because its the norm for a lot of guys thinking its a quicker way to get sex on the 1st date Someone like me who is not interested in a one night stand doesn't try to take someone out to dinner the 1st time
Author WP4046 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 Wait a minute, I think I'm gonna offend some here, but I'm still gonna say this: You are in your mid 30s, and you would only invest in a full dinner if you "click"? Yes times are tough, but that just sounds so CHEAP. What's wrong with dinner on the 1st date, and have a really good time getting to know someone? I can't imagine a woman taking you seriously if you can't even invest in a dinner for the 1st date. I mean, that just sounds petty and cheap, which are horrible 1st impressions. Understand that women want to be treated with respect. Coffee and fast food are okay if you two are already close, and want something non-fancy. If you gonna make a good impression, you have to take her to dinner or something nicer. Especially women in their 20s who believe "older" men know better. You are totally acting like someone her age, who have no clue how to treat a woman. Bottom line: Dating is expensive. If you can't afford to date, you should date someone who will pay for you. Yes plenty of women would go for that, but young ladies in their 20s probably won't settle for that, unless you are really good in bed. Look I'm on a budget and I don't just throw money away. Like I said it has to be a connection before I go any further
deathandtaxes Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Look I'm on a budget and I don't just throw money away. Like I said it has to be a connection before I go any further You shouldn't be dating. Read my prior post. Your priorities and expectations are so off-putting. 1
Fondue Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Wait a minute, I think I'm gonna offend some here, but I'm still gonna say this: You are in your mid 30s, and you would only invest in a full dinner if you "click"? Yes times are tough, but that just sounds so CHEAP. What's wrong with dinner on the 1st date, and have a really good time getting to know someone? I can't imagine a woman taking you seriously if you can't even invest in a dinner for the 1st date. I mean, that just sounds petty and cheap, which are horrible 1st impressions. Understand that women want to be treated with respect. Coffee and fast food are okay if you two are already close, and want something non-fancy. If you gonna make a good impression, you have to take her to dinner or something nicer. Especially women in their 20s who believe "older" men know better. You are totally acting like someone her age, who have no clue how to treat a woman. Bottom line: Dating is expensive. If you can't afford to date, you should date someone who will pay for you. Yes plenty of women would go for that, but young ladies in their 20s probably won't settle for that, unless you are really good in bed. It makes little sense to do an entire dinner for a meet/greet. It's too awkward. Imagine you're sitting, WAITING for your food, and the convo becomes dull/boring and quiet? Or if you're in the middle of your meal, accidentally say something offensive or off putting. That would be a very interesting meal indeed. Dinners with strangers can be difficult. People can accept this as the truth. You can't expect to come into the situation knowing that the two of you will click and enjoy yourselves. Best first date is an activity. Gives you something to do and enjoy yourselves in a much less awkward and forward environment. A woman who EXPECTS to be treated to dinner on a first meet is simply not a woman most men would like to see. That screams entitlement. I paid for every date of every single woman I dated (excluded was a previous girl who ninja payed when she "gone to the bathroom," as she decided she should treat me once). None of these girls ever gave me any sort of attitude or even made me think they had any entitlement issues. Her texts immediately gave me a different impression. This girl isn't worth it. Your trying to justify her behavior is even more appalling.
Phantom888 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Dinners with strangers can be difficult. People can accept this as the truth. You can't expect to come into the situation knowing that the two of you will click and enjoy yourselves. A woman who EXPECTS to be treated to dinner on a first meet is simply not a woman most men would like to see. That screams entitlement. You shouldn't even ask to meet if you can't even act natural at dinner. I think we are talking about online dating right? You should typically email / talk to each other for a couple of weeks before agreeing to meet. You are not really strangers. You know something about the other person, and if that strikes your fancy, then you should meet. If there is any hint of possible awkwardness during the 1st date dinner, then you shouldn't even meet at all. Yes you can tell a lot about a person by doing a dinner 1st date. What she orders, how she dresses, how she talks to people....very telling signs if you'll click. Of course women should expect a nice dinner on the 1st date. They go through the trouble of looking nice and pretty, and taking a risk of meeting someone in person. If you can't be respectful to a woman at this minimum level, how to you expect her to like you enough to move forward? Indeed women in their 20s don't know much, but they know enough to not want to be with a cheap skate. 2
Author WP4046 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 It makes little sense to do an entire dinner for a meet/greet. It's too awkward. Imagine you're sitting, WAITING for your food, and the convo becomes dull/boring and quiet? Or if you're in the middle of your meal, accidentally say something offensive or off putting. That would be a very interesting meal indeed. Dinners with strangers can be difficult. People can accept this as the truth. You can't expect to come into the situation knowing that the two of you will click and enjoy yourselves. Best first date is an activity. Gives you something to do and enjoy yourselves in a much less awkward and forward environment. A woman who EXPECTS to be treated to dinner on a first meet is simply not a woman most men would like to see. That screams entitlement. I paid for every date of every single woman I dated (excluded was a previous girl who ninja payed when she "gone to the bathroom," as she decided she should treat me once). None of these girls ever gave me any sort of attitude or even made me think they had any entitlement issues. Her texts immediately gave me a different impression. This girl isn't worth it. Your trying to justify her behavior is even more appalling. I was just explaining why some women act the way they do. By the way I sent my rejection text.
Author WP4046 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 I used to laugh when some women used to say, the man is paying for my time. I used to be like..."Well why not just come to my place?" Lol 1
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