WP4046 Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I was planning on meeting this girl after work on friday and suggested 2 different areas. One was starbucks and the other was place u can get pizza and sandwiches from called Cosi's. Then she sends this text "I guess I will choose cosi since u r not taking me to a real restaurant" No way I can meet her now. I explained I don't treat women to restaurants the 1st time because I wanna be sure we click. I am in no position to be treating someone to dinner the 1st time and may not see them again. The restaurant always came after date number 1. So she doesn't know it but she blew it that. 13
mammasita Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Ha....I don't blame you. That was kinda of rude and presumptuous.....I would say that to a good friend, not a date. I always like to meet for drinks first. Dinner can wait. 8
Eau Claire Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I assume this wasn't your initial communication. Was she more socially adept in the first messages? Perhaps (although I doubt It) it was a touch of humour that fell flat. Why not remessage that you offered those locales because you wanted her to feel comfortable meeting you in an informal setting? 'Perhaps' there is a sliver of hope. Also, are the two of you young? Under 25? A young woman can build up a bit of a fantasy in her mind. No excuse for poor manners but guys don't know what all those romantic comedies do to our mind.
Author WP4046 Posted January 29, 2014 Author Posted January 29, 2014 I assume this wasn't your initial communication. Was she more socially adept in the first messages? Perhaps (although I doubt It) it was a touch of humour that fell flat. Why not remessage that you offered those locales because you wanted her to feel comfortable meeting you in an informal setting? 'Perhaps' there is a sliver of hope. Also, are the two of you young? Under 25? A young woman can build up a bit of a fantasy in her mind. No excuse for poor manners but guys don't know what all those romantic comedies do to our mind. She is mid 20's and I'm mid 30's
Zahara Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I love Cosi! I don't see anything wrong with suggesting a simple eatery for a first meeting. Sounds entitled and rude. 5
d0nnivain Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I like Cosi for lunch but I wouldn't have been thrilled if I guy suggested that was where we were going for dinner. Her text was too harsh but in her shoes I can't say that I would not have suggested an alternative venue. Had I done so it would have been in line price wise with Cosi but that place is too well lit for a 1st dinner date. You are well within your rights to skip this altogether under the circumstances. 2
Author WP4046 Posted January 29, 2014 Author Posted January 29, 2014 I like Cosi for lunch but I wouldn't have been thrilled if I guy suggested that was where we were going for dinner. Her text was too harsh but in her shoes I can't say that I would not have suggested an alternative venue. Had I done so it would have been in line price wise with Cosi but that place is too well lit for a 1st dinner date. You are well within your rights to skip this altogether under the circumstances. It wasn't dinner, it was a 1st meet and greet
d0nnivain Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 It wasn't dinner, it was a 1st meet and greet "After work on Friday" suggested dinner time to me. Again, you don't have to meet her or have any other contact with her. But for a 1st meet & greet I would have expected Tuesday. Cosi is less "objectionable" then. As a woman, if I guy was asking to get together for Friday after work I'd at least expect to be asked for a drink. Friday is prime dating time if you will. I only share these observations with you to offer an alternative perspective. You still have to date people that make you happy & comfortable & who have similar values / habits. 6
Cabinet Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Her text was rude and it shows her mentality is that she "expects" you to treat her to a real restaurant at your first meeting which isn't the norm. Even if she did expect that, she then showed you her lack of manners by putting it in the text in a rather rude or offputting way. So you know right off the bat you'd have someone who wants to be treated like a princess and bitch if you don't. Good call to save your $$ and time! 3
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I agree. First meets should be about making the connection, not how much money you're spending or where you're going. I always preferred drinks or coffee on a first meet. Her response was off putting and tasteless. You are right to move on to the next one. 3
Keenly Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Tell her you're going to Chucky cheese instead. See how she responds. 6
clia Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Did you meet her online or in person? A first date after work on a Friday requires at least meeting for a drink at happy hour, in my opinion. I would have definitely declined meeting up at Cosi on a Friday night. I have nothing against Cosi, and it would have been a great spot to suggest for a Saturday or Sunday afternoon meeting. But Friday night for a girl in her 20s and you in your 30s? Eh. I do agree she could have been a little less rude about it. 1
hasaquestion Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I agree. First meets should be about making the connection, not how much money you're spending or where you're going. I always preferred drinks or coffee on a first meet. Her response was off putting and tasteless. You are right to move on to the next one. I agree that what this person said was definitely rude. But scheduling a meet & greet on a Fri. night is not good form. Friday night is someone's personal primetime. You don't give your Fri. nights to strangers, you give them to friends. If I were a girl and a guy who's a stranger from the internet asked me on a Fri. night date I'd be like come on man. Who do you think you are, my bf? If the woman here misinterpreted his text I can at least understand her being irritated with that part about it.
summerlovin31 Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Yeah that would turn me off if I were a guy. I don't blame guys that don't take me to dinner the first time I'm meeting them. It's expensive I'm sure and they prob. don't wanna drop money on someone they don't even know yet. Good choice to not go out with her! 2
Speakingofwhich Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 How about as a response, "OK, Cosi's it is! Your treat?" Touche! 4
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I agree that what this person said was definitely rude. But scheduling a meet & greet on a Fri. night is not good form. Friday night is someone's personal primetime. You don't give your Fri. nights to strangers, you give them to friends. If I were a girl and a guy who's a stranger from the internet asked me on a Fri. night date I'd be like come on man. Who do you think you are, my bf? If the woman here misinterpreted his text I can at least understand her being irritated with that part about it. This is news to me. I had no idea Friday nights were designated to specific activities only. I've been on many Friday night meets. I usually have drinks with friends after work during the week and would save Fridays and Saturdays for dates. 3
hasaquestion Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 This is news to me. I had no idea Friday nights were designated to specific activities only. I've been on many Friday night meets. I usually have drinks with friends after work during the week and would save Fridays and Saturdays for dates. I'm not saying you have to do something specific. But just saying, I'd assume unless told otherwise that Friday night is "your time". And I wouldn't presume to expect a complete stranger to give me that more personal time slot. Obviously that changes if told otherwise. To use the TV analogy again, if Friday night is primetime, a date with a stranger is episode 625 of Golden Girls.
GoreSP Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 How about as a response, "OK, Cosi's it is! Your treat?" Touche! OMG! PLEAAAAASE do this and let us know what happened! lmao! 3
Maxtor Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 How about as a response, "OK, Cosi's it is! Your treat?" Touche! Please, do this. 2
Ruby Slippers Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Bullet dodged. Sounds like she has zero manners or class. 2
Frank2thepoint Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 How about as a response, "OK, Cosi's it is! Your treat?" Touche! INDEED! At this point WP4046 since you have lost interest in seeing her, just send her this text and enjoy the joke on her. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Ha, that is amazing. If she was aiming for humour she should have been a little more obvious about it! I'd have replied with: 'sorry, but I don't think we're a romantic match. Best of luck on your search!' and if she queried it: 'You came across rather rude and entitled in your message, and I'm not into those types of girls. No hard feelings, and good luck!' But maybe I'm mean.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Tell her you're going to Chucky cheese instead. See how she responds. I actually laughed out loud. The people at Dore Radiateur looked up at me. ----------------------------- OP, I don't get why she'd even meet with such an objectionable response. How spoiled.
hasaquestion Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Ha, that is amazing. If she was aiming for humour she should have been a little more obvious about it! I'd have replied with: 'sorry, but I don't think we're a romantic match. Best of luck on your search!' and if she queried it: 'You came across rather rude and entitled in your message, and I'm not into those types of girls. No hard feelings, and good luck!' But maybe I'm mean. That's not particularly mean-spirited. Mean (dick move but funny) would be to tell her to meet you at Ruth's Chris at 7:30, kick back in your living room and put in a movie for the night. 1
Recommended Posts