bubblesbursted Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I cant find the answer to this, not just me but so many of the cases I read where the guy breaks up after engagement or when they feel there is a pressure to get married or propose. Why is it so guy? I cant seem to understand.
Envy_rodge Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Because many times once a woman know she completely has a man, she lose interest in him. 1
carhill Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I asked a similar question to myself when processing out all the 'no's' I was getting when attempting to date women. The answer? Every woman who was telling me 'no' was one woman telling me no. I simply wasn't asking women who would tell me 'yes'. It's the same with commitment. Each man is an individual and those who say 'no' to commitment are those who say 'no'. Ask men, or choose men, or promote relationships with men who say 'yes'. Easy task? No! Took me a good decade to get to 'yes' and even then, it was only occasionally, and that from a man who was marriage-minded. That's how it goes sometimes in life. As they say, it ain't fair. Good luck! 1
Envy_rodge Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Also marriage benefits women more. Men have a lot more to lose in divorce, the laws are unfair. Due to feminism, many women feel they are all entitled to their "dream man". It's just not a wise decision to trust in women like this. There is a reason why over 50% of marriages end in divorce, and usually they are ended by the wives. 4
Eau Claire Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 (edited) Most men have zero issues committing fully...to the right woman. Tens of millions of guys are stable partners or husbands. Most issues on threads have little mystery. Usually one partner 'hoping' that the relationship will improve...or some variation of this. Will the ex boyfriend see the light and kneel at my feet for forgiveness? Why was he so attentive and now takes me for granted... Probably been like this since cave man days. If a man is nuts about you, he will want you. Make you all his whether on paper or otherwise. Guys are possessive about their woman. Like dogs with a bone. Nothing turns me on more than my man telling me 'I love you'..women crave affection. Nothing ( verbal ) turns my man on more than me telling him 'Im all yours'. Edited January 29, 2014 by Eau Claire
mammasita Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Not all men shy away from commitment. We usually know what we're getting into up front, they make it known and we choose to ignore the signs thinking we'll be the one to change their mind. Then time and time again we complain and boo boo when it ends badly and then adding insult to injury go running back even more times than that. I learned my lesson. 1
mammasita Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Also marriage benefits women more. Men have a lot more to lose in divorce, the laws are unfair. Due to feminism, many women feel they are all entitled to their "dream man". It's just not a wise decision to trust in women like this. There is a reason why over 50% of marriages end in divorce, and usually they are ended by the wives. Not if I'm making 3x more than any man I date.....ever. 1
carhill Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I recall, when marrying, my net worth was about 500 times that of my now exW. She earned, on average, a bit more than I did while married but I had been building wealth for over 20 years when we got married. Here's a key issue: Earnings, while marital property, can easily go into the toilet of everyday 'lifestyle' costs. Hard assets though, especially those of substance that are built over time, are targets and are treated irrespective of income disparities in contested divorce actions. Now, my exW wasn't greedy. She got a nice house out of the deal, one she still lives in. Her last husband, having more income but being asset-poor, paid her alimony. Her live-in boyfriend, quite committed, is her handyman as well as lover. Men process these things individually. Myself, such dynamics, and experiences don't sour me on commitment. If anything, such has clarified what commitment means and given me confidence in future interactions. I've learned my lessons and know how to protect my life's work better now. Another man will have his individual perspective on such matters. The key for the OP is to find a man with whom such 'styles' are synergistic. That's the hard work. It's good work though, and I encourage them in it.
Eau Claire Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Not if I'm making 3x more than any man I date.....ever. True. Never been an issue either way in my relationships
TheyCallMeOx Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Men are built from aliens using alien technology. We have parts of a woman (like the stomach, lung, etc) to mimic the flawless female species in order to reproduce. The reason why we have a stomach is so that we can take the female species out to dinner; the reason why we breathe out of our noses is because it would be unattractive to breathe out of our original "gills" which would hinder the reproductive cycle and encourage lesbianism. Our hearts pump a chemical called "testosterone" which encourages competition among other men to initiate that reproductive cycle. When a male urinates, he's actually urinating out an excess of acetylcholine, which is a neurotransmitter that is responsible for arousal. A man is constantly aroused and that is due to our flawed design from our original ancestors (the alien species); this creates a problem because our female companions are without flaw and therefore incapable of manipulation of information, or interest in activity that may be considered a "sin," such as pre-marital sex. Because of our excess in acetylcholine and testosterone, we often make irrational decisions. Our brain chemistry is not wired to do what is right, but it interprets code sent from the male genetalia. The penis flexes very quickly, through contractions of muscles, in a series of code that is sent through the channels of our body to the brain to interpret. In a sense, every decision a man makes is based on his biological desire for sex. Because a woman is natural, without flaw, and nothing like a man (even though they are both of the same species), there is often a debate about whether we should call men part of human beings, or we should consider women part of a higher species. I hope that gives you a good idea on why men do what they do sometimes that don't really make sense. One of the common theories that rational (and by "rational" I mean women) people come up with is that men are not that much different than women BECAUSE they are classified as the same species. Perhaps women make the same decisions that men make for the SAME REASON. Maybe...every question you ask about "why do guys do this?" You can actually reflect the question back and ask "well, why do WOMEN do this?" But as a man, that's an absurd theory. We are aliens. Shielding rational people from the truth is...wait a second...my penis is telling me to stop posting. Hope this helps!
Keenly Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Well one of the things you listed " when they feel like there is pressure to get married " Marriage is a major life step that a man should come into ON HIS OWN. You don't pressure some one you love to get married because you want to. Its selfish, emotionally manipulative, and just plain wrong. It breeds resentment. Don't ever pressure your man to get married. Its no less wrong than pressuring a woman for sex when she isn't ready. 3
Woggle Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 It's that men don't want commitment. They want commitment that lasts and leads to a happy and healthy relationship. If not why bother. Men are no more commitment phobic than women.
f1asr88 Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Once bitten, twice shy perhaps? I was with a girl for three years, loved her and trusted her completely, wanted to marry her in time, have children etc. But she cheated, left me for another guy, and I felt like I never knew her at all. If I'd taken things more quickly, I'd possibly be divorced, and maybe a weekend dad not seeing my child. I think in future I'll be less trusting, and more cautious, whoever it's with.
somedude81 Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 It depends on what kind of guy you're trying to get a commitment from. Pretty boy player? Good luck. Why would he want to commit to one girl? Normal guy who doesn't sleep with a new woman every month? Much better chance of him wanting to be in an exclusive committed relationship. 1
Envy_rodge Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 (edited) Not if I'm making 3x more than any man I date.....ever. However, due to hypergamy women marry up. Women tend to love value, where as I think men value love. I think for a large percentage its more important for women to feel loved, than actually to love. Value or perceived value can be based on financial status, social status, or anything she values. A woman will only respect a man that she feels is above her in status, and a woman can only love a man she respects. Also normal men usually place more importance on looks, women place more importance on personality and confidence. A woman respects a man who is more confident than her, and usually the person with more confidence is perceived as having more value. Edited January 29, 2014 by Envy_rodge
pickflicker Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Men don't shy away from commitment with the right girl. 3
Envy_rodge Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I recall, when marrying, my net worth was about 500 times that of my now exW. She earned, on average, a bit more than I did while married but I had been building wealth for over 20 years when we got married. Here's a key issue: Earnings, while marital property, can easily go into the toilet of everyday 'lifestyle' costs. Hard assets though, especially those of substance that are built over time, are targets and are treated irrespective of income disparities in contested divorce actions. Now, my exW wasn't greedy. She got a nice house out of the deal, one she still lives in. Her last husband, having more income but being asset-poor, paid her alimony. Her live-in boyfriend, quite committed, is her handyman as well as lover. Men process these things individually. Myself, such dynamics, and experiences don't sour me on commitment. If anything, such has clarified what commitment means and given me confidence in future interactions. I've learned my lessons and know how to protect my life's work better now. Another man will have his individual perspective on such matters. The key for the OP is to find a man with whom such 'styles' are synergistic. That's the hard work. It's good work though, and I encourage them in it. Do you think your exW deserved anything she has gotten out of her two divorces? What did she actually do to deserve that house, or that alimony? She probably doesn't deserve those things. She didn't work for them, just like 98% of divorced women who get benefits from the divorce. Our divorce laws were set it place during a time when a woman didn't have the rights of men, couldn't make as much money, actually had somthing to fear if she cheated (where as now its socially acceptable). Basically society helped enforce women to be held to a higher standard. Back then when a woman was divorced, she was screwed, had no where to go so alimony was a way for her to not be on the streets. Now that society has changed, and misandry is a common thing (though disguised as acceptable) the laws stayed the same.
Envy_rodge Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Men don't shy away from commitment with the right girl. Not many women in western ( or societies highly influenced by western society) are worth commitment. This is due to some fundamental changes in the structure of our society. We now live in a post-modern, feminized, morally decaying society. It's a bad Idea for men to get married. 1
JDPT Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I've come to realize and this is through personal and experiences and what I've witnessed in other relationships that men are subliminally pressured into putting that ring on a woman's hand. Clearly, this isn't always the case, however, it sets the tone for a terrible start. The man feels obligated to go through the motions of marrying when perhaps he isn't ready to commit fully.
Eau Claire Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 There are just over 2 million marriages in the USA every year. Lots of commitment. 1
pickflicker Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Not many women in western ( or societies highly influenced by western society) are worth commitment. This is due to some fundamental changes in the structure of our society. We now live in a post-modern, feminized, morally decaying society. It's a bad Idea for men to get married. And yet, marriage, while happening later age-wise, is still happening in droves. Funny, that. 1
Envy_rodge Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 And yet, marriage, while happening later age-wise, is still happening in droves. Funny, that. Just because a man marries a woman doesn't mean she is worth the commitment. the majority of women aren't worth the commitment.
Envy_rodge Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 There are just over 2 million marriages in the USA every year. Lots of commitment. The majority of men are chumps, they are taught to be insecure and view love from a woman's perspective via the media. Yes many men get married, then they get taken advantage of and pooped on, and then they are made to feel it is there fault. This is how the majority of marriages end, where the man gets taken advantage of. So, If I was to get married, I would want it to be with some one I can trust. Most women are not worth commitment.
Envy_rodge Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Why do women initiate divorce more than men? - Telegraph most recent number crunch reveals that in 2011, the woman was the party granted (therefore initiating) the divorce in 66% of cases that year. It used to be an even higher share: 69% in 2001, and a whopping 72% at the start of the 1990s. Divorces are usually very expensive, time consuming, and take an emotional and mental toll on men. Men are usually treated unfairly. I personally think its foolish to marry, it usually doesn't benefit men much. He can get his needs fulfilled by more than one woman. Doing this will make him more secure, because if one of those woman decides she doesn't want to seem him anymore, he has one or more to turn to. I mean women do this all the time, they are the biggest players of all. the statistics above make look marriage like a scam to me, and men are the ones who get the short end 99.9% of the time. So explain to me, why are women worth committing to? 1
pickflicker Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Just because a man marries a woman doesn't mean she is worth the commitment. the majority of women aren't worth the commitment. I'm pretty sure these women are not holding a gun to these guy's heads to get married. Just because you don't think women are worth the committment, does not mean that the world shares your view. In fact, I'd say you're in the minority on this one. 1
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