Silly me

[themotion]

Hi all,

 

I was in a serious relationship for seven years, which unfortuntely came to an end due to the fact the we pretty much became 'friends' as oppose to lovers. The chemistry just dissapeared after such a long time. I did keep in contact with my ex as friends, which I know is strongly advised against.

 

Anyway, I very quickly started seeing someone from work (another broken rule) and we became very close, to the point that we both felt that we 'loved each other' and we even talked about a future together.

To cut a long story short, I carelessly remained in 'friend' contact with my ex, which the new girl in my life was aware of and found difficult to cope with (understandably). She was certainly more into me than I was into her at the time and I hadn't allowed myself any breathing space from my previous relationship.

 

I didn't feel ready for a relationship, so we broke it off and then made up on several occasions, but eventually she decided that she'd had enough of me (which is fair) and told me she no longer had feelings for me.

 

For a reason I don't understand, I suddenly felt completely heartbroken and it was as if I'd suddenly realised that I'd allowed myself to loose something really special. I repeatedly kicked myself and also felt terribly guilty at the fact that I'd let her down so badly. I continued to message her, almost to the point of begging for her back and for forgiveness, until I heard that she was seeing someone else at work. The thought of this new guy, being able to finally give her what I could have, made me hurt terribly and the feelings of regret plagued my every moment and thought. I now have to face seeing them together with thoughts of 'only if?' and 'What have I done?'. The feelings of hurt and anger towards myself are terrible. I have accepted that it's over, but haven't yet managed to shake off the idea of the potential of getting back together in the future.

 

I'm completely aware that I've made some terrible mistakes, which have lead me to effectively 'breaking my own heart', so I'm not expecting sympathy

I'm just very confused about my situation and the drastic changes in my emotions throughout the whole ordeal.

If anything, I hope that my situation can be a learning point for others

[Philosoraptor]

You finally allowed your repressed feelings out and it caused all sorts of pain. This is why one should avoid rebounding.

 

Simply enough you never healed and pushed feelings from the past relationship onto the new girl. Once she wasn't around anymore to be your emotional tampon you had to come face to face with not only losing one relationship, but now two.

 

All you can do now is wish her well, work on yourself; and once you've healed you can find yourself a healthy relationship.