Author Discover Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Sorry I am here Discover..Had the worst day. Messed up my interview and am so mad. -.- Anyway, You are better off without her no doubt! I know of course she was everything to you , you were together for a hell lot of time. You will be much more happy wait and see. As happy as you can be! Dont ever say you hate your life. People love you, your family, your friends. You can do it. Smile! Oh,no Bubbles..what happened?! Are you ok? How are you doing? Why are you mad? Today,for me was really strange.I went to school and she was sitting next to her girlfriend so I thought to myself that this is better. I sit next to my friend and after the lesson she waits for me, she asks to sit next to me and I say sure as it was a computer class and we had a project. As we finished I played myself music put my headphones and started sleeping (believe me I was so tired in the morning so I decided to relax) we go out after the two lessons and all of a sudden she acts as if she is angry at me telling me she didn't like being ignored and moved and I was ok with it. The people in our class started asking so I assume I am still in a relationship in facebook o_O ! Then after school she asks me to go home together and I said I have basketball and went to play with my friends. ANd that hurt me because all my friends said that I am too kind of a person and people made use of me,but after she did this act all this kindness died and I got really mad at her,which ended up in me having hell of a fun at the game! It is strange, today I feel happy,maybe not exactly happy but I feel better! Before, if you had asked me why I was breathing I would have said "Because of her!" but now the only thought in my head is that I want to improve even more in studying and sport,I want to be the best and this dream scares me! By the way,there are a lot of things to PM you about Bubbles,believe me, but all I have to wait is one or two weeks so I can do it ! 1
bubblesbursted Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Oh,no Bubbles..what happened?! Are you ok? How are you doing? Why are you mad? Today,for me was really strange.I went to school and she was sitting next to her girlfriend so I thought to myself that this is better. I sit next to my friend and after the lesson she waits for me, she asks to sit next to me and I say sure as it was a computer class and we had a project. As we finished I played myself music put my headphones and started sleeping (believe me I was so tired in the morning so I decided to relax) we go out after the two lessons and all of a sudden she acts as if she is angry at me telling me she didn't like being ignored and moved and I was ok with it. The people in our class started asking so I assume I am still in a relationship in facebook o_O ! Then after school she asks me to go home together and I said I have basketball and went to play with my friends. ANd that hurt me because all my friends said that I am too kind of a person and people made use of me,but after she did this act all this kindness died and I got really mad at her,which ended up in me having hell of a fun at the game! It is strange, today I feel happy,maybe not exactly happy but I feel better! Before, if you had asked me why I was breathing I would have said "Because of her!" but now the only thought in my head is that I want to improve even more in studying and sport,I want to be the best and this dream scares me! By the way,there are a lot of things to PM you about Bubbles,believe me, but all I have to wait is one or two weeks so I can do it ! OMG. You are doing so much better! You did amazingly well. Avoided and not been rude either. Trust me if you continue this , you will be healed in no time. And that line, Discover look at yourself buddy! You are doing so much better. Look back how you were a few weeks back and see yourself now? Isnt it an amazing change? You will be okay and dont be scared of being happy. Just work towards your dream. You WILL be the best. And um , Interview was going okay until the lady asked me some question about a topic I used to study with him and BAM! My voice started shaking and she of course noticed, had to lie and say i was nervous (again wrong move) and then lost all focus and said anything to just get out of there. It was tough to hold onto and not cry. So yea in short pretty much sucked. But the lady asked me to come back again this week for the last round (?) , I guess she is just kidding because I know my interview wasnt great.
xUnknown Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Oh,no Bubbles..what happened?! Are you ok? How are you doing? Why are you mad? Today,for me was really strange.I went to school and she was sitting next to her girlfriend so I thought to myself that this is better. I sit next to my friend and after the lesson she waits for me, she asks to sit next to me and I say sure as it was a computer class and we had a project. As we finished I played myself music put my headphones and started sleeping (believe me I was so tired in the morning so I decided to relax) we go out after the two lessons and all of a sudden she acts as if she is angry at me telling me she didn't like being ignored and moved and I was ok with it. The people in our class started asking so I assume I am still in a relationship in facebook o_O ! Then after school she asks me to go home together and I said I have basketball and went to play with my friends. ANd that hurt me because all my friends said that I am too kind of a person and people made use of me,but after she did this act all this kindness died and I got really mad at her,which ended up in me having hell of a fun at the game! It is strange, today I feel happy,maybe not exactly happy but I feel better! Before, if you had asked me why I was breathing I would have said "Because of her!" but now the only thought in my head is that I want to improve even more in studying and sport,I want to be the best and this dream scares me! By the way,there are a lot of things to PM you about Bubbles,believe me, but all I have to wait is one or two weeks so I can do it ! It sounds like you're doing a lot better. Its obvious she doesn't like not having the attention you used to give her. She's starting to notice the mistake she made. She's realizing what she had done. Before you started ignoring her, she still had you....now, she's noticing she isn't the center of your life anymore. Keep going NC though. Still, don't talk to her in class. Even if you have a project, it doesn't matter, its an excuse (on both your ends) to talk to one another. Unless you're doing the project TOGETHER, you aren't talking or interacting. Keep it up. You have to SHOW her you've moved on...even if you have to fake it. 1
bubblesbursted Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 She is just trying to boost her ego and you just crashed it by avoiding her , I am guessing that was the reason she got mad. Dont think too much about it! Concentrate on yourself
Author Discover Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Thank you guys,I was hoping on my way back to school that you two will be here!!! <3 Yes,I have moved on a lot since last week, honeslty today I catch myself in a position of not caring at all about what happened..I feel so angry and motivated that I feel like I have no time to waste my life about that! xUnknow,I am trying man,really trying but she is always trying to contact me so it is a bit hard in school so I find peace at home or at my lessons and practises! TOday I cought myself wonderwing Who the hell was I when I was with her?!.. Bubbles,do not worry! You got this,you got this! If the lady said so, then go and see for yourself, I am sure you did great despite the little fluke! Now you know what you have to practise! Try talking to yourself or to a friend exactly about the topic you discussed with him so you can get over this and get the job, which I am sure you will do !!! xUnknow,man I am scared that I am moving on really fast, what does it mean?... 2
bubblesbursted Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Thank you guys,I was hoping on my way back to school that you two will be here!!! <3 Yes,I have moved on a lot since last week, honeslty today I catch myself in a position of not caring at all about what happened..I feel so angry and motivated that I feel like I have no time to waste my life about that! xUnknow,I am trying man,really trying but she is always trying to contact me so it is a bit hard in school so I find peace at home or at my lessons and practises! TOday I cought myself wonderwing Who the hell was I when I was with her?!.. Bubbles,do not worry! You got this,you got this! If the lady said so, then go and see for yourself, I am sure you did great despite the little fluke! Now you know what you have to practise! Try talking to yourself or to a friend exactly about the topic you discussed with him so you can get over this and get the job, which I am sure you will do !!! xUnknow,man I am scared that I am moving on really fast, what does it mean?... Dont worry Discover. You are doing just fine. Its an up today for you! Which is a good sign. You are motivated and happy. Stay that way, be happy . You were just a person in love with her but you have a life now. Cherish it. Dont hate it. And, its a down for me today..man..I feel awful and I am listening to sad songs which isnt helping. Just missing him
xUnknown Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 xUnknow,man I am scared that I am moving on really fast, what does it mean?... It means you're making progress. Believe me, all the feelings will come back. What you're feeling now, is the feeling of being over the initial shock phase. You feel that was it and the tide has settled, but it will be back (just warning you). But this time -and the times that follow- will be much faster...they won't last as long. I was the same way. Huge shock, for about the first 2 weeks. Then felt great, just like you did...screw her, I don't need her, I'm better off, I'm over her. Well...a week after that her parents sent me a gift and a very sweet card which set me way back to the beginning. I was craving breadcrumbs...hoping she would text me, just like I was doing the first two weeks after the BU. But, like I said, this will happen to you most likely, but you'll get over it. Look at you, you've already been through it once. You an do it again - no problem. Stay positive my man. You'll know you're completely over he when you get the point where you don't care if she is dating. It takes a while to get there, but, every day is a step in the right direction. You have to stay NC and stay focused on the positive aspects of your life. Being positive, keeping busy and surrounding yourself with good people will help you move on quicker. But don't be looking for another girl anytime soon (relationship or otherwise). If you start dating/hooking up too soon it could set you back again. 1
Author Discover Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Dont worry Discover. You are doing just fine. Its an up today for you! Which is a good sign. You are motivated and happy. Stay that way, be happy . You were just a person in love with her but you have a life now. Cherish it. Dont hate it. And, its a down for me today..man..I feel awful and I am listening to sad songs which isnt helping. Just missing him Bubbles,are you even reading what I am writing to you -.- !!! Read all the things I wrote for you, damn it Bubbles, don't be sad..cmon.... Stop with the sad music, please! God,for the first time after something bad has happened I didn't listen to sad music, and I actually didn't feel as bas as I would have!!! The Click Five - I'm Getting Over You Lyrics - YouTube < !!!!!! I beg you to listen to this!!!! 1
Author Discover Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 It means you're making progress. Believe me, all the feelings will come back. What you're feeling now, is the feeling of being over the initial shock phase. You feel that was it and the tide has settled, but it will be back (just warning you). But this time -and the times that follow- will be much faster...they won't last as long. I was the same way. Huge shock, for about the first 2 weeks. Then felt great, just like you did...screw her, I don't need her, I'm better off, I'm over her. Well...a week after that her parents sent me a gift and a very sweet card which set me way back to the beginning. I was craving breadcrumbs...hoping she would text me, just like I was doing the first two weeks after the BU. But, like I said, this will happen to you most likely, but you'll get over it. Look at you, you've already been through it once. You an do it again - no problem. Stay positive my man. You'll know you're completely over he when you get the point where you don't care if she is dating. It takes a while to get there, but, every day is a step in the right direction. You have to stay NC and stay focused on the positive aspects of your life. Being positive, keeping busy and surrounding yourself with good people will help you move on quicker. But don't be looking for another girl anytime soon (relationship or otherwise). If you start dating/hooking up too soon it could set you back again. Thank you! Haven't even thought about a new relationship,I don't want to sent a girl in this forum just because I used her..never! You kind of scared me a lot, but I guess it is expected to feel bad again..Now I am scared';x 1
bubblesbursted Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Bubbles,are you even reading what I am writing to you -.- !!! Read all the things I wrote for you, damn it Bubbles, don't be sad..cmon.... Stop with the sad music, please! God,for the first time after something bad has happened I didn't listen to sad music, and I actually didn't feel as bas as I would have!!! The Click Five - I'm Getting Over You Lyrics - YouTube < !!!!!! I beg you to listen to this!!!! I was crying..Couldnt read the full thing. I read now. And I will try and talk to someone else about those topics and try to get over it that way but I dont think I got it. I will try and listen to this now.
Author Discover Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 We are here,I am here for you Bubbles! By the way,I am starting to feel really stupid,god damn xUnknow you have been here for me and Bubbles but I never really asked..How are you man? How is your life? 1
xUnknown Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Thank you! Haven't even thought about a new relationship,I don't want to sent a girl in this forum just because I used her..never! You kind of scared me a lot, but I guess it is expected to feel bad again..Now I am scared';x My fault man, I didn't mean to scare ya. Just keep your chin up. You're doing great. But it helped me, knowing that the sadness will come around again. It didn't come as a surprise - I knew it was coming, so I prepared for it. When it did, I knew what I had to do - stay focused on positive things. That is why I brought it up to you. Just keep doin what you're doing. 1
bubblesbursted Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 My fault man, I didn't mean to scare ya. Just keep your chin up. You're doing great. But it helped me, knowing that the sadness will come around again. It didn't come as a surprise - I knew it was coming, so I prepared for it. When it did, I knew what I had to do - stay focused on positive things. That is why I brought it up to you. Just keep doin what you're doing. So its just the sadness phase I am experiencing xUnknown? I was all okay till yesterday.
bubblesbursted Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 We are here,I am here for you Bubbles! By the way,I am starting to feel really stupid,god damn xUnknow you have been here for me and Bubbles but I never really asked..How are you man? How is your life? Thank you And yes I really would want to know that as well. You , I mean your doing so great. Maybe one day we will be where you are. 1
Author Discover Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Well,Bubbles..feeling better yet? How is the music? 1
bubblesbursted Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Well,Bubbles..feeling better yet? How is the music? Yea better than what I was feeling. And I love them , a little encouraging specially the "I'm moving on" , thank you for the songs Discover
bubblesbursted Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 :lmao: I love "you su*k at love" , all i can do is think about my ex. Funny.
Author Discover Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 :lmao: I love "you su*k at love" , all i can do is think about my ex. Funny. GOOD,I am so glad you are feeling better!!! I am going to a lesson now but I will make sure to write when I am here Now SMILE 1
bubblesbursted Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 GOOD,I am so glad you are feeling better!!! I am going to a lesson now but I will make sure to write when I am here Now SMILE Thank you Discover I am feeling better now. And you go to your lesson! And do your best and AVOID her
xUnknown Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 So its just the sadness phase I am experiencing xUnknown? I was all okay till yesterday. The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief | Psych Central Most likely stage 4, but then again, I don't know what you've been through before. They can jump around too. Just know it will pass. You'll go through all the stages several times. But each time it gets easier. Right now, Discover is in the Acceptance stage. Which is great. But (again, not trying to scare you, just prepare you), you'll go through them again, at least once. But, it will become quicker and you'll go through it faster and faster each time. Think of the analogy of tossing a stone into a lake. The ripples are very lose together with high peaks right where the stone hit the water, and slowly get wider apart with less peaks. You both are still in that rough/high peak stage close to where the stone hit the water...time is what will work your way to the outsides of that ripple. I feel that KNOWING you'll have your ups and downs and knowing you'll go through the stages again will help you go through it easier. It won't come as a shock because you're prepared for it all. 1
bubblesbursted Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief | Psych Central Most likely stage 4, but then again, I don't know what you've been through before. They can jump around too. Just know it will pass. You'll go through all the stages several times. But each time it gets easier. Right now, Discover is in the Acceptance stage. Which is great. But (again, not trying to scare you, just prepare you), you'll go through them again, at least once. But, it will become quicker and you'll go through it faster and faster each time. Think of the analogy of tossing a stone into a lake. The ripples are very lose together with high peaks right where the stone hit the water, and slowly get wider apart with less peaks. You both are still in that rough/high peak stage close to where the stone hit the water...time is what will work your way to the outsides of that ripple. I feel that KNOWING you'll have your ups and downs and knowing you'll go through the stages again will help you go through it easier. It won't come as a shock because you're prepared for it all. I was pissed/mad yesterday for 2 days , before that I was okay with him being out of my life and today this. I guess thats what is happening. These phases. It will keep coming back and back? The way you explained is totally understandable. So with time, the effects of these phases will slowly decrease and decrease.
xUnknown Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 We are here,I am here for you Bubbles! By the way,I am starting to feel really stupid,god damn xUnknow you have been here for me and Bubbles but I never really asked..How are you man? How is your life? I've been doing well Discover. Thanks for asking. I'm sort of on the other end from you two. In short, my ex (of 2 years) ended it with me in September. Went Strict NC since then and she came back in December realizing she screwed up. Knowing the holidays were coming up (so I knew she wasn't just coming back because she was lonely during Christmas time) I waited until after them to get in contact with her again. Since then I have and we are taking things slow (search for my most recent thread for updates). I've been where you guys are, believe me...it sucks. But it the staying focused on something positive that keeps you moving forward. Filling that void with YOU time is what we all need after something like this happens. I can't say for sure we're going to work out this second time around, but I'm willing to see where it goes. I'm not saying I gave her a second chance...the second chance comes if we are officially back together. It's a matter of seeing what changes she has made (for real), and not just putting up a front and pretending she did to get me back - thus things fall back to the way they were before. I started seeing a therapist when all this stuff happened and it has helped me a lot. One of the biggest things I learned is to stop asking for "advice". Nobody knows my situation better than I do. I used to ask "what do I do in this situation?" all the time. But in reality, I was just asking for someone to tell me what to do, because I didn't think I could make the decision on my own. What matters is what YOU think, and what YOU feel your gut is telling you to do. So, everything I mention here and on any thread is what I think if I were in that individuals situation. What I may do is different from what you do, so all I can do is tell you what I would do in a certain situation. If you have any questions about my story or overcoming it all, let em know, I'll do what I can to help. 2
xUnknown Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I was pissed/mad yesterday for 2 days , before that I was okay with him being out of my life and today this. I guess thats what is happening. These phases. It will keep coming back and back? The way you explained is totally understandable. So with time, the effects of these phases will slowly decrease and decrease. Yeah, unfortunately they don't go 1,2,3,4,5 all the time...you'll jump around here or there, which sounds like that is what is going on. It happens and its a natural process. You body and mind are trying to deal with something it isn't used to. Sure, you'll go through them again, but remember yesterday - you were OK with him being out of your life. Now, you have a baseline. You have a goal to get back to. Before you didn't have that...that was the hardest part. Now, you do...which will help you get back there even quicker. Its natural to think of all these things, but don't make yourself go crazy over it. Thats what happened to me. I was going nuts on my H.A. dealing with all this. That's when I wish I could go out with friends and do something - get out and enjoy a different environment. 1
bubblesbursted Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I had read your thread about your ex coming back to you. That was really inspiring at a level! Well good luck xUnknown for this time. I hope it works out with you both And, I was reading the article again and that is what exactly is happening with me as well. One day I am ok then some days later I am depressed. Its so confusing. I dont know what the next day will bring. Its like a roller coaster of emotions. One day up and the other down. And I am trying my best , going out as much as I can, looking for jobs etc etc in short trying to keep myself busy. 2
xUnknown Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 I had read your thread about your ex coming back to you. That was really inspiring at a level! Well good luck xUnknown for this time. I hope it works out with you both And, I was reading the article again and that is what exactly is happening with me as well. One day I am ok then some days later I am depressed. Its so confusing. I dont know what the next day will bring. Its like a roller coaster of emotions. One day up and the other down. And I am trying my best , going out as much as I can, looking for jobs etc etc in short trying to keep myself busy. Then you're doing everything right. It won't be an easy process, but it will get easier. Just take it day by day. Don't worry about tomorrow because it hasn't come yet, and no sense in worrying about yesterday because there isn't a damn thing that can change it. Just focus on now and focus on you.
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