robbysurfs Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 (edited) I know it hurts trust me I loved my ex no one loved my ex girlfriend more then me and one day she walked out of my life and I was a complete mess. We had plans to marry have kids the whole nine. When she left I felt completely stripped and alone and was left with that question why. Now I know it was because we were not meant to be and I had to move on and get back to the person I was before plus the experience of this breakup. Its gonna hurt but people have the right to fall in and out of love with each other. We dont own anyone and there are people who are married 20yrs and one day realize they dont love one another anymore. This is the human experience fears,loss,love,joy,anger but in the immortal words of george harrison "all things must pass away" it will get easier trust me but you deserve to heal stay nc and work on being a better you. Edited February 26, 2014 by robbysurfs 1
Own Worst Enemy Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 but you will always cringe if you behave badly. if you cut contact, you will reach that point of not caring far more quickly. and, if you need some incentive - because let's face it, a blank phone screen HURTS - keep remembering that your silence will be far more effective than anything you could say. either he will be intrigued and wonder what you are doing, which is good, or he will be relieved - in which case, aren't you glad you didn't contact him? but his reaction is really academic. it's about self-preservation from here on in, lady.
Zahara Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 If any guys out there were to give me any advice to "lure" him back in? What would it be? On April I got two tickets for a concert we were supposed to go together. (he really wants to go). I bought the tickets. What do I do now? I felt myself cringing when I read that "lure" part. You can't lure someone back into loving you again. And even if you did, this person would be with you for all the wrong reasons and it wouldn't even last. Simon is right. The only thing you are doing is cheapening yourself in his eyes. Please, stop your behavior. Men do not find women that chase a man attractive. The only thing you are doing is pushing him away. Sell those tickets or go with a friend. It's high time you stop vicious cycle. He's even telling you that he doesn't love you anymore. When does it start to register and when do you say enough?
Author clairedunham Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 What happened to my thread it is all messed up??!! Anyways day 1 of NC.. lots of thinking done by my part and a lot of fear.
pickflicker Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 What happened to my thread it is all messed up??!! Anyways day 1 of NC.. lots of thinking done by my part and a lot of fear. It looks like it got merged.
guest572 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Keep going strong. I struggled a lot at first but just counted and it had been 18 days NC already. I still get tempted to contact him, but its not every few minutes like it was just after the breakup. Maybe every few days when I am having a really rough time coping I think about what I want to say to him.
Author clairedunham Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 Naaah. I dont want to call him nor I get the urges to call him but I do want him to call me. I'm just depressed and thinking a lot. It's like I'm giving up on us.
KaliLove Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Naaah. I dont want to call him nor I get the urges to call him but I do want him to call me. I'm just depressed and thinking a lot. It's like I'm giving up on us. He has given up on your relationship. He's stringing you along in case he changes his mind someday. I know it feels like if you want it bad enough, it will happen. It feels like if you just find the perfect words or the perfect gift, it will all come together. But it doesn't work like that. You need to give up on your current relationship with him in order to move forward with whatever is supposed to happen in the future.
redbaron005 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 It's like I'm giving up on us. The glass is not half empty or half full, its two times too big. Reduce the size of your glass by focusing on yourself for a while.
Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 We are speaking again. But not getting back together. He calls me to tell me how he got a job and all that stuff. I texted him that I had news (I applied for another bachelor's degree) and he doesn't answer. He calls me the next day telling he was training at his new job till midnight. He calls me and first says "What's the news?" like all "excited" to know. Anyways these calls lead to like an hour of speaking **** over the phone then hangin' up. This whole situation is eating me up inside as I don't know if he cares or has feelings ow WHAT! I cry in my pillow cause it's driving me insane!!
Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 Either go back to NC. You're feeding his guilt Am I?.....
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 You know the answer (spoiler: Stop talking to him and go NC). You are just too weak to actually go through with. 3
Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 You know the answer (spoiler: Stop talking to him and go NC). You are just too weak to actually go through with. Oh.. you don't know who weak I am. And he smells it. No matter how much I hide it. I actually thought of blocking his number via Mobile Network. Calling Sprint and telling em to block his number
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Oh.. you don't know who weak I am. And he smells it. No matter how much I hide it. I actually thought of blocking his number via Mobile Network. Calling Sprint and telling em to block his number So what's stopping you? You should have done that already. 2
Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 God, he used to put me on a pedestal. He used to say that I was his "muse". He adored me. Now I'm just scum he wont look at twice
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 God, he used to put me on a pedestal. He used to say that I was his "muse". He adored me. Now I'm just scum he wont look at twice Well yeah, when you keep sucking up to someone like you do they lose respect for you. 1
TaraMaiden Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Am I?..... Yes of course you are. He feeds you breadcrumbs, you pander to his ego and you make him feel less guilty about the way he's treated two. Read the No Contact Guide in my signature (link). It's all in there.... Quit doing this to yourself because yes, you are your own worst enemy....
iDrumKing Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 You gotta snap out of it and stop posting about the "good times" that you used to share. Those times are gone. You have to do what you obviously know what is right, which is to go NC. You calling him or him calling you is just adding salt to the wound 1
Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 Well yeah, when you keep sucking up to someone like you do they lose respect for you. Ouch... Man I feel bad for everything I did to him. I have a mild case of schizophrenia. I used to lose touch with reality and be paranoid. I had a very dark dark phase but I'm not insane you know. I feel like if I don't do something now I'm gonna lose him. Still I have to go NC.
Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 I bought him and I tickets for one of his favorite bands. Tickets were 338. How much can he ask? And he still thinks he is going,,
TaraMaiden Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 He has no right to ask you anything and do not talk to him about it at all. Go with someone else.
Author clairedunham Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 He has no right to ask you anything and do not talk to him about it at all. Go with someone else. I cant do that to him. If I say I'm going with someone else he probably wont fight. But when we were together he used to spend a lot of money on me and used to take care of me. This is one of the bands that got him to play music in the first place.
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