purplesoccer34 Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I decided to join an online dating site just for fun, and to see what happens. I wasn't interested in anyone on there at first, but then I came across a certain guy's profile. He seemed cool, so I messaged him. He responded like a week later saying he was sorry he took forever to respond, but that he just started a new job and was very busy. He then wrote an entire paragraph telling me about the cool stuff he did last weekend, and then asked me what I had planned for the upcoming weekend. I responded to that message, but he didn't respond. I forgot about him and the site for a while. A month later, I decided to get back on the site and I'm not sure why, but I decided to message him again, asking how he's doing. Again, I get a response saying "sorry it took me forever to respond, I've been traveling a lot, been so busy..." and then a long paragraph talking about the other stuff going on in his life. At the end of the message he asks me if I would like to get dinner someday because he wants to make new friends. I knew that he was looking for friendship only, because he specified that on his profile--he said he wasn't looking to date, but just joined the site to make new friends. So I said yes, and we went to dinner. After the dinner I texted him saying that it was fun and that we should meet up again. He said, "Yeah, it was fun. Unfortunately I'm going to be busy the next couple of weeks, but I'll let you know if I get any free time." That was 3 months ago, and I haven't heard from him, nor have I contacted him. I definitely know that he's not interested---but I think it would be really cool to be his friend. He was such an interesting person. If I were to send him a simple text asking how he's doing, would I just come across as a girl that's obsessed with him? Would it be weird or awkward especially since it's been 3 months? I would really like to be his friend (nothing more, really), but if me texting him comes across as weird/awkward/obsessive, then I'll just forget about him. What do you think?
ja123 Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I don't think you should text/contact him again. Even if it's for friends, the feeling/actions have to be mutual. Anyhow, it sounds like he's got a lot going on/ emotionally unavailable / doesn't know what he wants, etc. etc. Just because he "seems" interesting, doesn't outweigh how annoying he is. Make yourself interesting ... and move on. 1
kiss_andmakeup Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 It's so obvious that he's in a relationship (or married), it's not even funny. Move on.
Author purplesoccer34 Posted January 29, 2014 Author Posted January 29, 2014 It's so obvious that he's in a relationship (or married), it's not even funny. Move on. He told me he was single.
ja123 Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Single or not, he's just not that into you. Sorry. 1
kiss_andmakeup Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 He told me he was single. Oh, okay. That clears that up. People lie, dear. Especially in online dating. It's a cheater's paradise. I've done it (online dating, not cheating) before so I am not trying to make an all-encompassing statement, but a rather large portion of people with online dating profiles are using those profiles for cheating. It's likely that, when things are good in his relationship, he doesn't even log in to the site. Or maybe when he's spending a lot of time with her and doesn't want to risk getting caught. When he's feeling lonely, or like he needs attention or validation, he logs in and chats with (and even dates) women. Even if he's not in a relationship, which I sincerely doubt, he's not the slightest bit interested, and I really don't see how you know someone well enough after one date to think you'd make great friends. Just my two cents. Do with it what you will. 1
MixedUpChick Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Definitely don't text him again, forget about him like everyone is saying. Think how you'd feel if the situation was reversed & some guy kept contacting you & you really weren't interested. It would just be annoying, right? So don't do it. And yes, lots of people lie about being single. Don't waste any more time on this dude.
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