gottalovethejungle Posted January 14, 2005 Posted January 14, 2005 I need someone to advise me on what I should do. I will try to keep it short. My ex and I broke up about a year and a half ago. It was more his idea than mine although we both wanted to accomplish things that were difficult while together. He almost immediately became really good "friends" with a girl from his past. He ended up going travelling for almost a year with this girl. He has admitted that they hooked up briefly on the trip but decided they were better off friends. I believe him. We have kept in contact (on and off) and have maintained a good relationship over the past year and a half. He contacted me recently and told me he was coming back home. It is very obvious we still have feelings for each other. My dilemma is that after being with this other girl every waking moment for the past year I don't want to become her replacement. I am also not sure how he feels about the other girl or me. Maybe he has been trying to get with her and she is just not into it. We will see each other when he gets home, when we havent decided. Maybe I should wait a month or so for him to get settled here. How should I approach our reunion? Should I tell him how I feel (I want him back)? or should I play it cool as he was the one who ended it?
Merin Posted January 14, 2005 Posted January 14, 2005 I would wait and give it time.. While it's all okay and good to go that the 2 of you have kept in touch and that he is planning on coming back home and the 2 of you've made tenative plans to get together when he does.. at this point I think it's to early to tell what it is he's expecting or wanting with you (from what you've said, he hasn't exactly said he is coming home to see if he can work things out with you) Really it's been some time since you've seen one another.. and a lot can change in a year. As you've said, he's been with someone else etc.. So keep things casual and sit tight for a bit.. find out more about him when he gets back and go from there.
Author gottalovethejungle Posted January 14, 2005 Author Posted January 14, 2005 I want to go and meet him at the airport! You are right though. We will both need time to adjust to being in the same country again. What about phone calls? I figure talking on the phone for the first little while would be good to repair our friendship, I already know the attraction isn't something that has to be worked on.
angelstar Posted January 14, 2005 Posted January 14, 2005 Hiya, i agree with the other 2 comments. Keep your distance. I know you really want to be there but you have to show him that you've been living your own life and doing your own thing since he's been jet setting backpacking around the world with some other chick. Give yourself some credit! Make up some excuse to not be at the airport. Do it in a very nice way. Don't be rude. Just tell him something has come up. Does he know you were going to be at the airport anyway? I wouldnt go honestly. Let him wonder about you. He's going to be jet lagged and tired and will need some time to recouperate. He has your number. See how long it will take for him to actually give you the call and initiate seeing you. He may only want to be friends with you. You've been apart for 1.5 yrs. Long time! Did you date anyone while he was away? My advise don't go to airport. Let him rest and wait for him to contact you. Believe you me if your on his mind completely he will be on the phone quicker than you could shout AHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHH. And i know you want to go !!! but play hard to get! DOn't go running into his arms. He's just been with another girl. Toooo strange. LET HIM WORK FOR U> Good luck and have a great wk/end
angelstar Posted January 14, 2005 Posted January 14, 2005 Then again. Who am I to say what you should do! YOu can totally ignore everything we've all said and just go with your gut feeling. If your intuition tells you to go to that airport then bloodywell go there and see the man of your dreams..... bla bla bla Let us know how it all goes. I really hope it all goes well for you. Theres nothing like a happy ending. Go good now.
Author gottalovethejungle Posted January 15, 2005 Author Posted January 15, 2005 Thanks for all the advice. Although I would love to go to the airport I won't. I am going to try to just keep busy and let him persue me if that is what he wants to do. I know he will call me soon after arriving home but not sure of his intentions. He has been through some rough times while away and really needs a friend. He finds me very comforting and he may just want a shoulder to cry on. I will keep that in mind. I'll keep you all posted. Thanks again for all the encouraging words and great advice.
Recommended Posts