summerlovin31 Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Alright, so I need some perspective on this date I had. I met this guy on an online dating site and immediately saw he had all the qualities I'm looking for on paper. He seemed like such a gentlemen before I even met him with the way he asked me out and did everything I normally complain that guys don't do. I was excited, nervous, and anxious to see if we'd have a good connection. Well, we had great chemistry. Conversation kept going the entire time and he seemed really interested. We met for lunch and we're together for about 2 and half hours. I've never felt this great about a first date or someone in such a long time. At the end we hugged and he asked if it was okay with me if he calls me because he had a really great time. I said yes of course. Next day, I don't hear anything so I decided to just text him saying thanks again for lunch, I had a really nice time. Hope you have a great start to your week. He did text me back he had a great time, as well. Will call me this week. So far, I haven't heard anything. I'm trying to remain cool and not reach out to him anymore because I don't wanna come on to strong or scare him. Any advice on how to handle after the first date went so well and I'm very much interested in seeing him again. The waiting game is so hard. I shouldn't reach out anymore, right? Is it a bad sign he hasn't reached out to me yet?? Thanks for much needed advice
Omei Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Has it been over a week? If not don't worry till then.
Author summerlovin31 Posted January 29, 2014 Author Posted January 29, 2014 Has it been over a week? If not don't worry till then. It hasn't yet..my worry comes from since he hasn't called yet that means he must not be that interested. Do guys still wait a few days if they are still interested in the girl?
deathandtaxes Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Just an 'I'll call you?' What an effin blow off. Sorry dear, he's not interested. Don't hold your breath. I let a lady know by the end of the first date if I'm interested. I may try to set up a second date. I may say let's do this again. Etc. I definitely let them know I am interested. And usually reiterate it the next day. But I'm a no bull****, no games playing kind of guy.
Jive Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Alright, coming from a guy's perspective... If you had a 2 1/2 hour conversation on the first date, then that is an obvious good sign. If he says he'll call you, and really likes you, then he'll call you. If I really wasn't interested in a girl after the first date I never tell them I'm going to call them... because I know I won't, therefor what's the point? I don't think you've really given it enough time. I've had great first dates with girls and then didn't contact them until a few days later just because I was busy dealing with whatever was going on in my life at that time. I would say if you don't hear from him after a week, just send a fun little text to nudge him along.
pickflicker Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Alright, coming from a guy's perspective... If you had a 2 1/2 hour conversation on the first date, then that is an obvious good sign. If he says he'll call you, and really likes you, then he'll call you. If I really wasn't interested in a girl after the first date I never tell them I'm going to call them... because I know I won't, therefor what's the point? I don't think you've really given it enough time. I've had great first dates with girls and then didn't contact them until a few days later just because I was busy dealing with whatever was going on in my life at that time. I would say if you don't hear from him after a week, just send a fun little text to nudge him along. No, do NOT send a text to 'nudge' him on. Presumably, the guy is a grown up and does not need 'reminding' that she's there. OP, you've played it fine, you've been appreciative and let him know that you're interested. Next move is all him. In the meantime, check out your other prospects on your OLD pofile and keep moving forward. 4
Fondue Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 He's playing it old school. He's letting you stew for two or three days. Get you to miss him and wonder what's up. Which is EXACTLY what you're doing right now. He's playing his cards right. Be patient, give him some time. He'll get back to you, for sure. And again, this doesn't mean he isn't interested. Don't misinterpret this lack of communication, please. 2
Author summerlovin31 Posted January 29, 2014 Author Posted January 29, 2014 Okay, so I maybe freaked out too soon. He called me last night and asked me out again. So, yay! Thanks for everyone's response. We will see what happens from here. I guess he was following the '3 day rule' which I wasn't use to. Maybe I just really liked the guy I was anxious to see if he was really interested.
deathandtaxes Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Okay, so I maybe freaked out too soon. He called me last night and asked me out again. So, yay! Thanks for everyone's response. We will see what happens from here. I guess he was following the '3 day rule' which I wasn't use to. Maybe I just really liked the guy I was anxious to see if he was really interested. Screw all those rules and game playing tactics. I would tell a lady to go shove it if she followed stupid dating 'rules'. Why can't people be honest about their feelings? Him waiting to call is just playing with your feelings. OP - do you like being played with?
hasaquestion Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Screw all those rules and game playing tactics. I would tell a lady to go shove it if she followed stupid dating 'rules'. Why can't people be honest about their feelings? Him waiting to call is just playing with your feelings. OP - do you like being played with? People have to protect their interests. "Playing games" is just a way of doing that. I think the 3 days thing is pointless but I understand why people "play games" 100%. They're not in your head.
deathandtaxes Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 People have to protect their interests. "Playing games" is just a way of doing that. I think the 3 days thing is pointless but I understand why people "play games" 100%. They're not in your head. Yeah, I get what you're saying. I think there are better ways of protecting your own interests than by screwing with my emotions. If people would just be more honest with themselves and others, dating would be a lot more fun, and so would life in general. Hey OP - let us know how it goes, yeah?
Author summerlovin31 Posted January 29, 2014 Author Posted January 29, 2014 Yeah, I get what you're saying. I think there are better ways of protecting your own interests than by screwing with my emotions. If people would just be more honest with themselves and others, dating would be a lot more fun, and so would life in general. Hey OP - let us know how it goes, yeah? I agree, I hate the games too. It does mess with your emotions. A lot of times it doesn't bother me but it's probably because I wasn't as interested as I am with this one. I will let you know how the next date goes.
soccerrprp Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Okay, so I maybe freaked out too soon. He called me last night and asked me out again. So, yay! Thanks for everyone's response. We will see what happens from here. I guess he was following the '3 day rule' which I wasn't use to. Maybe I just really liked the guy I was anxious to see if he was really interested. What an arse! If he's playing the 3-day rule, honey, be prepared for more "games." 1
Amelia81 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 The guy I'm dating now did something similar. We met online, swapped numbers then he said he would call in a few DAYS to arrange our first date. I think it was about three days after swapping numbers in the end and no texting in between! On the date itself at the end he asked if I wanted to do it again and we loosely arranged a day. I then didn't hear from him for two days. But it's not game playing. Some men (find they are older, late thirties) just don't want to get into texting conversations and daily contact so early on. I've actually enjoyed having the space as well (and the anticipation of when the next text/call may be) What I have noticed is the contact is increasing gradually as we get to know each other better, and after each date he doesn't leave it as long to get in touch, However yesterday I didn't hear from him at all, but it's ok! It's still moving in the right direction. It's hard to remember sometimes in the day of modern technology and instant communication that you don't have to be in constant/daily contact with someone your newly dating. OP it sounds like he's really interested and if he has the odd day no contact again then I wouldn't worry 1
Leigh 87 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 deathandtaxes - I am normally inclined to think that if a guy is really into you, he will text after the date to say he had a grate time, and then he will text once a day thereafter. What I have learnt through this website is: some guys don't like the whole daily contact thing. A lot of guys will want to text a girl daily if they are really interested, but then again not all guys like daily contact. Personally, I need daily contact from a guy who WANTS to text me daily. I don't like 100 texts a day, but a simply " hey how was your day" text once per day is ideal. The OP sounds like she is okay without daily contact yet she is still a little miffed. Time will tell if he is really crazy about her or not. 1
Recommended Posts