johnww92 Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Ok I'm not gonna bore you all so long story short, started dating a girl who came out of a year relationship things went really fast and things got really serious within 2 months. She told me she wants to slow down because we got serious to fast and she needs some of her own space too(We spent a lot of time together). So the slowing down didn't work because it was hard to stop being serious so she broke up with me because she needed to be alone and needed to heal. I gave her week alone then started chatting about normal stuff and I told her I know why things ended bad and that we should forget about the old relationship and start things fresh by going going on dates and having fun with no commitments and this time get to know each-other properly and go at a steady pace. So she agreed and we have a date this weekend any advice?
organizedchaos Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Ok I'm not gonna bore you all so long story short, started dating a girl who came out of a year relationship things went really fast and things got really serious within 2 months. She told me she wants to slow down because we got serious to fast and she needs some of her own space too(We spent a lot of time together). So the slowing down didn't work because it was hard to stop being serious so she broke up with me because she needed to be alone and needed to heal. I gave her week alone then started chatting about normal stuff and I told her I know why things ended bad and that we should forget about the old relationship and start things fresh by going going on dates and having fun with no commitments and this time get to know each-other properly and go at a steady pace. So she agreed and we have a date this weekend any advice? Yeah, you said it yourself: ...start things fresh by going going on dates and having fun with no commitments and this time get to know each-other properly and go at a steady pace. 2
xUnknown Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I just had my "first date" with the ex on Saturday. Keep it casual. Go out and grab some food or a drink or two and just talk. Get to know each other. I told her the old relationship is dead and this is a first date. We would ask each other questions that any normal person would ask on the first date - even if we knew the answer to them. You want her to know that you're being serious about starting fresh. So, do anything you would do on a first date. 1
Colton Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I just had my "first date" with the ex on Saturday. Keep it casual. Go out and grab some food or a drink or two and just talk. Get to know each other. I told her the old relationship is dead and this is a first date. We would ask each other questions that any normal person would ask on the first date - even if we knew the answer to them. You want her to know that you're being serious about starting fresh. So, do anything you would do on a first date. How do you think the date went? How long has it been since you guys have dated? Did you go NC? How did you guys get to the point of going on a first date from where you were? Sorry just curious
xUnknown Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 How do you think the date went? How long has it been since you guys have dated? Did you go NC? How did you guys get to the point of going on a first date from where you were? Sorry just curious No worries man. Date went well. My thread is here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/456846-she-reconciled-may-meet-up-first-date We had a 2 week break Mid September followed by a breakup. I planned for a breakup since the day 1 of the "break" so in my mind, we broke up mid Sept. I went strict NC. She contacted me twice (once after 3 weeks NC on our 2 year anniv saying how much she missed me etc, the day after about a car issue). I responded to the car issue and left it at that (to "tie up" the loose end). Went NC again until the day she drives 3.5 hrs and shows up unexpectedly at my apartment door. This happened Mid December. I pretty much told her off that night, but realized a lot of what was said was based out of emotion. I texted her a few days after telling her it showed guts and a lot of self reflection to show up like that and we'd be in touch sometime in January. Went NC again. Cordial Christmas Text from her, I responded. Same on New years, but initiated by me. She asked to skype that night (on new years) - I ignored. We skyped for 30 mins following day. Seemed indifferent. then 3.5 weeks later we had our first "date". TLDR: Date went well. Talked a lot about getting to know each other as if we just met for the first time. 4 months since we were dating, a bit more (cause things were "off"). Went NC from the beginning until she came back in December. Only contacted her once. I said we'd be in contact. Asked her to come up for a bite to eat. I told her when we were eating that I saw that night as a first date, "**** the past, its gone".
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