rburns629 Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 (edited) So I am in a situation to where I am talking to two people. It is annoying as I'd like to focus on one person at a time. I am getting to know both women, and I met both around the same time. I like both a lot and right now I am just sorting out the differences. Both are very beautiful and attractive in their own ways, and accept me the way I am. Girl A: Lives about an 1 hour and 10 minutes away from me. First date was sort of perfect. I say sort of because at first I wasn't interested until after the date. The date itself was meh, and I didn't feel any connection. She constantly talks to me all day and is really really interested. She hasn't completed college and she has no desire to finish it. So this was a turn off for me. Also, we accidentally did the deed in my car after the first date. A lot of pent up desire? :/ Girl B: Very independent, graduated from college and works for the Government. Plans to go back for her Masters. She lives 15 minutes away from me, and our first date was amazing. She constantly smiled and I made her laugh the entire time. The kiss after the date was perfect. We both were fully engaged into each other. Problem is, she won't add me on Facebook. I know me being concerned with that is strange considering it could be the fact she doesn't really know me, but it still throws me off due to the fact that this has never happened to me before. Any other guys go through a similar situation? Any advice from the girls? How did you choose? Edited January 28, 2014 by rburns629 Link to post Share on other sites
Dallers Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 Neither. If you liked either then you wouldn't need to ask who to pick. You clearly do not and one of those poor girls is going to end up getting hurt. As soon as you started listing the pro's and con's of both it was a instant fail in terms of how to be in a relationship. Love is unconditional. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 I think you should date each of them a few more times. It's possible that one of them will make the choice for you. Otherwise, your feelings are likely to become more clear after a few dates. I don't know how you accidentally did the deed in the car (given that you must've been fully clothed and it's the middle of winter), but at least you have some idea of the sexual compatibility with one of them. All else being equal, I'd give quite a bit of weight to the difference in academic prowess, but that's just me... you might default to backseat prowess. Dallers, do you actually believe that love is unconditional... never mind. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 Previous poster has the right idea. Give them each a few more dates and explore further what you like and dislike about each. It'll make the decision that much easier. More exposure = better. As long as you don't give false promises or lead them on, you're golden. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TXGuy Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 Don't ask to add to facebook right away, that is really creepy (and I'm a guy so my creep threshold is pretty high). I don't see anything good coming frm it. It simply allows online stalking. You will do much better stopping this practice, both as the stalker and the stalkee. I agree with others, give them both a couple more dates. That said, the right one is clearly the one 15 minutes away (all else being in the same ballpark). 15 minute girl you can see any day you want. 1 hour plus girl you can see on weekends you are motivated enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dallers Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Maybe I am just getting old... Be a good story to tell on your wedding day I suppose. "You know love, if the guys on the love forum hadn't said to try you out a few times first I might have gone for the other girl I was chatting up instead." This is what the f**k is wrong with this world: I agree with others, give them both a couple more dates. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 S Also, we accidentally did the deed in my car after the first date. A lot of pent up desire? :/ Explain accidentally to me please. That's one heck of an accident Link to post Share on other sites
Author rburns629 Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 We were caught in the moment lol. It is quite possible as long as you have the heat running in the car, even during winter. Link to post Share on other sites
Shosh Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Any other guys go through a similar situation? Any advice from the girls? How did you choose? Sounds like girl B is a better match. Why do you even want to keep seeing out with girl A? Is it because you had sex? About the Facebook thing, I NEVER add guys to Facebook in the first few weeks, even if I am crazy about them. The thing is I have years of private stuff on Facebook and don't want a near stranger to see it - especially someone I am trying to impress. I wish Facebook had a function where you could hide all previous posts from a new 'friend'. No need for a new love interest to see pictures or posts I made about an ex 2 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rburns629 Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 Thanks Shosh, that makes decent sense, so I'll leave it be for a while. I manned up and I chose instead of beating around the bush. I went with girl B last night and told girl A. She started crying and I talked with her most of the night to explain why and try to help ease the pain for her. So now we'll see how things go with girl B. Hopefully it goes well, but if not... that's just life. Thanks for the advice folks. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Thanks Shosh, that makes decent sense, so I'll leave it be for a while. I manned up and I chose instead of beating around the bush. I went with girl B last night and told girl A. She started crying and I talked with her most of the night to explain why and try to help ease the pain for her. So now we'll see how things go with girl B. Hopefully it goes well, but if not... that's just life. Thanks for the advice folks. Based on your first post, you are likely made the right decision. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Learn self control. And stop sleeping around with gals on first date. I pity gal B, she seems smart n intelligent n obviously unaware that u slept with another girl on a first date... while meeting her simultaneously. If I was her and got this piece of info... that would be the end of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Problem is, she won't add me on Facebook. I know me being concerned with that is strange considering it could be the fact she doesn't really know me, but it still throws me off due to the fact that this has never happened to me before. How is this a problem? You get to know her the good old fashion way, by meeting her in person and talking to her. Link to post Share on other sites
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