starryeyed_30 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I started dating a guy (military) 2 months ago. He phoned me after our first date and told me that he is getting deployed in June for 6 months so will not be around from March and thought that he wasn't a good idea to start dating. Well we stayed friends but after seeing each other 6 times in 2 weeks we ended starting something. He was amazing. So attentive, wanting to see me all the time. I felt so special then after Christmas we decided to spend new year together and we ended up going on holiday for 5 days. It was amazing. Since we have got back he has started pulling away. Not wanting to see me but still texting every day. He's not working at the moment and is getting frustrated with the situation so I put it down to that. I asked him why he doesn't want to spend time with me he said he does but has been busy. I was going to talk to him about it at the weekend but he changed the plans. He took me out for lunch to a busy pub where I couldn't talk to him but we did talk about future dates and going away again. So I thought we would go for a walk afterwards but no...he dropped me off at home when we used to spend Sundays together. He asked for a kiss so I lent in and he kissed me on the cheek. I was so confused!! When I got home and sat down I texted him and said 'we need to talk as I am so confused...a kiss on the cheek??' He asked me why? So I explained that I am so confused with all the mixed messages. He replied by saying that him going away has put him on the back foot. He's frustrated with having no work and going away and getting closer to me will just be harder later on. He had an amazing time away and is glad that he went but He's not had a great past with girlfriends and going overseas. I know he has been really hurt by 3 other girls when he's been deployed before and he's putting his defences up. I asked 'So where does that leave me or us?' He replied 'Leaves me in same place...Overseas. I know its harsh but I have had years of experience with me going away and gf and I always come worse off. May be we shouldn't have gone away. I did ring you and tell you when I found out I was going away again.' So he didn't answer my question. My friends said I needed to put my cards on the table and tell him how I feel and that if he's not going to take a chance with me then I am going to walk away as this is not fair on me. So I sent him the text (I would have rather have spoken to him). I told him that I think that we could be good together if he gave us a chance and that I knew that this was going to be hard before we started something and that i didn't regret going away. I said that I had develop feelings for him and that I was willing to be there for him but if he can't give us a chance then I need to walk away. I just wish I had spoken to him not done all this by text. He never responded. Its been 2 days and still nothing. My friends have told me not to text or phone him. Let him come to you. If he really wanted to be with you he would have responded by now and that I should just forget him and move on...easier said than done. When it was good it was amazing. I have really fallen for him. While we were away together he talked/joked about proposing to me in 2 years time??? So confused. What should I do?
winny Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Dear Friend, I am so sorry you have to go thru this. This guy just used you for some fun before going away. He seems like a player. All the stories about being hurt in past by LDRs and meeting you 6 times in 2 weeks n sweeping you off your feet n 5 days holiday... All this look like his tactics to get into your pants that's it. He made that initial call to tell you that he is going away so that he can use it as am excuse later .. As .. Hello I didn't play with you .. You knew all along I was going away. Your friends are right. You have to absorb all the pain n hurt n lessons learnt n walk away. Kill all hopes that he is going to come back. Trust me it will be fine n next time beware of guys who try to be so fast about everything. 1
Author starryeyed_30 Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 I know what you are saying but I've met players before. This seems different. He has told his family about me. Told friends that he wants to start a serious relationship with me once he gets back (I saw a message he sent a friend.) We've not slept together since our holiday just spent time together. I thought if he was a player he would just be ringing me to come round for sex. Then again may be you're right...So confused. Really didn't think he was
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