Is there a chance of reconciliation or am I living in false hope?

[Jamez1580]

Hey guys,

 

2 and a half weeks ago, my girlfriend split up with me. The relationship lasted just a month shy of two years and It was for the most part a perfectly healthy and well-balanced relationship. We actually originally started speaking through a music-based social networking website! - a whole year before we eventually met up. We got to know each other online and eventually began writing letters to one another. I was initially slightly thrown by the fact she lived a slight distance away (she lived 40 miles away for University, but is from the city I live in), but we had such a ridiculous amount of things in common and when she suggested getting the coach to meet me, I forgot about my inhibitions and jumped at the opportunity.

 

Our first meeting went extraordinarily well and we clicked immediately. We fell in love shortly afterwards and we were extremely close. She moved back home after around 6 months of us going out and we still tried to maintain the distance we had kept (we saw each other every weekend), and were for the most part successful. Unfortunately my negative traits slowly unfolded and I became jealous and possessive, but I tried my hardest to work on my issues and somehow she'd always forgive me.

 

About a year and a half into the relationship, we had a rough patch where we'd argue fairly constantly and we had sex very rarely if at all. It came to a point where she suggested we end things. I pleaded with her to stay with me and she did - on the basis we could "talk about things" after a fortnight. During the fortnight, we got along very well again and had sex virtually every time we met up. However, fearing I'd lose her for good, I did the exact wrong thing and became clingy and needy and consequently would contact her too much. After the fortnight passed, she told me she didn't know what she wanted. She told me she still loved me though and she 'didn't want to lose me' but she suggested we 'take a break' but 'not see other people'. Obviously I should have accepted, but I foolishly begged her to stay with me, AGAIN. She agreed that we could stay together until things went bad again. She phoned me later that night and asked if I loved her. I told her "Of course" and she told me she genuinely loved me too.

 

We got along well again and our sex life was better than ever, but yet I continued to suffocate her with excessive phone calls and general lack of space. She'd clearly had enough after a month and a half and eventually ended it. It was very emotional for the both of us and I was confused as she was telling me that she 'hadn't fallen out of love' with me, but we weren't right together anymore. I said goodbye to her and she phoned me two days later asking to meet me later that week. It was to return each other's stuff but she told me it was just an excuse for us to 'see each other'. It'd been the longest time for us without any interaction so it'd be an understatement to say that I missed her. Nevertheless, I refrained from contacting her and waited for her to contact me. Our first post-break-up meeting went very well. I managed to keep my cool the whole time and she even asked me, jovially, if I was trying to 'attract' her with my aftershave. We both made references to our first date. As the meeting came to an end, I gave her a letter I'd written her telling her how much I loved her, apologising for all of my mistakes and asking her subtly if there was a chance we'd ever work things out.

 

She came on Facebook chat later that night and told me my letter was really sweet and that she hadn't thought of a reply yet - with a smiley face. We contacted semi-regularly between then and our next meet-up a week later. She texted me at the weekend between our first and second post-break up meeting, informing me that she was going into the city with her friend and that she'd be getting the bus back on her own at 3am. I couldn't help myself, but I tried to contact her to get her to change her mind and I again failed to let her live her own life. I texted her 'sorry' the following morning and she said it was 'alright', but 'don't do it again'. So I didn't.

 

 

Anyway, we met up for the second time and this time I wasn't in the best of moods. I hadn't eaten and I felt far too eager to try and win her back. I told her she was 'pretty' a few times and stuff but definitely pushed her away. I was miserable for pretty much the entirety of our meeting and at the end asked her if she'd thought of a reply (Re: Us getting back together). She said 'very unlikely' so I said "So there's a chance?" and she said "I really don't think so" and so on and so forth until she said she was certain we wouldn't get back together and that it wasn't meant to be. However, I told her that maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore and she burst into tears.

 

The following morning, she phoned me twice to ask how I was and we went over our relationship together for the umpteenth time. She told me I had become too dependent on her, etc and she just got fed up of it. Two nights later, I forced myself to go out into the city with friends and miraculously ended up bumping into her. She looked very pleased to see me and I told her I loved her, missed her (she reciprocated the comments) and that next time we met up I wouldn't speak about us getting back together, as 'ultimately it's her decision'. She agreed and she said we could meet up in about a week.

 

She phoned me the following morning and asked about my night saying 'It was weird seeing you last night!' and the phone call was generally very upbeat and cheery. The following day she liked my profile picture on Facebook.

 

I texted her a few days later asking if she still wanted to meet up and she said drinks this Thursday was good for her. She also told me that she was going to ring me again soon anyway. And this is where I'm up to now.

 

If you've traveled this far through my post, congratulations! What do you guys think? It's probably abundantly clear that I want her back, but I have already made a few mistakes. She still wants to see me at least and even said that we could maybe have sex again. I believe I'm still getting mixed signals, but I'm certain that there's still love there. If you think there's a chance, how should I act when I see her in a couple of days?

 

Thanks guys!

[nerdlingZA]

I told her that maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore and she burst into tears.

 

The following morning, she phoned me twice.

She phoned me again the following morning. The following day she liked my profile picture on Facebook.

 

I texted her a few days later asking if she still wanted to meet up and she said drinks this Thursday was good for her. She also told me that she was going to ring me again soon anyway. And this is where I'm up to now.

 

Bro I wish I was in your position.

 

- Your Ex breaks up with u but still want to remain as friends

 

- You become clingy pushing her away

 

- but as soon as you told her " we shouldn't see each other anymore" << she herself went to panic mode , this is when u should have applied No Contact until she told u "I made a mistake" "let's get back together , while u still in contact with her u will lose her more than u've already lost her , if I were you I would apply No contact until she tells me she wanna date again , and stop the meaningless meetings