spirius Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Went on a first date (met on the internet) and was very nervous, kinda bumbly etc, but conversation seemed okay we laughed a fair bit and was comfortable seeing a film together after coffee and was okay on the drive home too. I really was not on top form though. Bumbling Hugh Grant sort. It turns out the girl is related to one of my staff. But anyhoo, later on I text cos I wasn't sure how it had gone saying "Thought you looked beautiful tonight and would like to see you again. What do you think?" She got round to saying that being honest she wasn't too sure and wouldn't want things to get awkward with my staff member. I took this to mean she was not interested, but was being polite. I said fair enough, but not to worry about work as we're all grown-ups, but if it just wasn't a mutual thing, no worries at all and I'd enjoyed meeting her. She replied that it was more that she wasn't quite sure, that obviously we don't know each other very well but "I would go out again, see where it goes." She said we could go out again later this week. Thoughts? Bear in mind this is UK and we have a hopelessly informal system for dating. Usually involves getting drunk and waking up with someone, so formal dating outside of net dating isn't all that usual
PegNosePete Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Why not give it a go, see where it goes? What's the worst that could happen? 2
Author spirius Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 I guess I'm just unsure what she's thinking...whether it's negative or not. Clearly not entirely opposed to the idea entirely if she's offering to meet again and suggesting in just a few days time. I tend to over-worry and over-think
Shosh Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Sounds like she is not too sure and does not want to lead you on. She is willing to give it one more try but does not want you to be upset or disappointed if she does not want to see you again afterwards. Kind of as an preemptive disclaimer. If you would like to see her again and are okay with it possibly being the last time - and it won't be awkward - then I'd say go for it. But don't ask her for another date at the end of the 2nd, unless you want to be rejected to your face. If you have a good time text her the next day saying you did and asking her to let you know if she wants to do it again. That way you are not chasing her but are putting the ball in her corner.
PegNosePete Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 But don't ask her for another date at the end of the 2nd, unless you want to be rejected to your face. If you have a good time text her the next day saying you did and asking her to let you know if she wants to do it again. That way you are not chasing her but are putting the ball in her corner. I'd rather have a rejection to the face than days of wondering if I'm going to get a reply to a text message, any day of the week! She's already on the edge so if you want it to work with this girl you need to put in a whole lot of effort. Show her a great time, be keen and GO FOR IT, otherwise you'll simply confirm her doubts. Self fulfilling prophecy.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Should have just got drunk and woke up with someone ! lol x
Iguanna Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I wouldn't want to go out again with a person who is not enthusiastic enough for having met me and gone out with me. It seems like I'm his second choice, and honestly I don't have time to be second choice anymore. 2
Eau Claire Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 The last statement in the posting makes you come across as creepy and without class. I was on an exchange program for 2 years in Norwich and the prople I knew were quite respectful. Nurses went on dates without getting drunk and waking up with some one. 1
winny Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Went on a first date (met on the internet) and was very nervous, kinda bumbly etc, but conversation seemed okay we laughed a fair bit and was comfortable seeing a film together after coffee and was okay on the drive home too. I really was not on top form though. Bumbling Hugh Grant sort. It turns out the girl is related to one of my staff. But anyhoo, later on I text cos I wasn't sure how it had gone saying "Thought you looked beautiful tonight and would like to see you again. What do you think?" She got round to saying that being honest she wasn't too sure and wouldn't want things to get awkward with my staff member. I took this to mean she was not interested, but was being polite. I said fair enough, but not to worry about work as we're all grown-ups, but if it just wasn't a mutual thing, no worries at all and I'd enjoyed meeting her. She replied that it was more that she wasn't quite sure, that obviously we don't know each other very well but "I would go out again, see where it goes." She said we could go out again later this week. Thoughts? Bear in mind this is UK and we have a hopelessly informal system for dating. Usually involves getting drunk and waking up with someone, so formal dating outside of net dating isn't all that usual I really don't prefer going out with someone for a second time whose response is so unenthusiastic. I want to be with someone who was happy about meeting me. Obviously people don't know each other immediately... sometimes it takes months and years to know someone... but if the vibe is there... it is there... I can see what will happen on the date. U will be under a lot of pressure to impress her. And may say or do things which u wouldn't otherwise. There will be lot of awkwardness. But if u think u really really felt some connection - you should go out once more. If she is still cold then leave it.
Author spirius Posted January 29, 2014 Author Posted January 29, 2014 Eau Claire, I was (mostly) joking about the hopeless haphazard dating world in the UK rather than my direct experience. I've only ever gotten with people who were friends first and so formal dating is out of my comfort zone. I'm in two minds. Part of me wants their to be more initial spark from the other party, but in all fairness...it was a quick coffee and a movie...and I was hardly on top form. I don't think it is beyond the realms of possibility that she didn't view it as a no, but also wasn't sure about it having more mileage than another date depending on things loosening up a bit. But as previous posters have said, worried the pressure will be on somewhat.
Author spirius Posted January 29, 2014 Author Posted January 29, 2014 Also should say, although her response wasn't very enthusiastic and has obviously thrown me a little...we actually had a good time...lotta laughing and chatting comfortably. Maybe nerves got in the way, maybe looks. Dunno
Recommended Posts