lancerfan Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Hi all...just looking for some advice/perspective on my situation. So long story short, 1.5 year relationship ended just over 3 months ago. It was my first true love, she had one serious bf before, we are both in our mid-twenties. She moved here for work and I was the one person here she knew and we started out great. We were together all the time, her family loves me, I helped her through a number of personal issues and we fell for eachother. Things were awesome, but as things went along, I had issues expressing my emotions for her and my overall emotional awareness, this started to give her doubts. We split once, about 6 months in as I was distant and somewhat cold in interactions especially in public, but she knew that I loved and cared. We worked it out and things were great again. I introduced her to new people and she managed to create a good network of girls (all single) and they started hanging out more and more, displacing me or having me be included or somewhat tagging along. I was not a fan of this but I never really voiced my concern, I know communication issue on my part, I should have set my boundries. So she ended up breaking it off 3 months ago saying that she couldn't change her feelings but that she really did/does love me...but implying that I can't meet her needs. Well I have spent a lot of time the last 3 months thinking this over, and yes I need to change some things about myself. I have started and will continue to work on my complete self (no I cannot and haven't completed changed my emotional intelligence/awareness in 3 months) but I have started to and there is no one that I would rather work on this with/show this to than her. We have been NC since then (with the exception of one letter I wrote a month after the break)...I know bad idea and I regret it now since it was too fresh, but I thought it would give me closure. It didnt, and she did text me back saying that I warmed her heart and that she never doubted me as a beautiful person but it seemed closed. I then replied, another thing I regret...as it was too emotional; my message was that I loved her, have been hurt by the break but am looking forward not back. So here I am. I still think about her a lot, but my emotions have calmed and I just miss her. I feel like I lost my best friend...she meant and still means so much to me. I do think that we have something special and that we are meant for eachother. But I do know that we have issues that need to be fixed if it were ever to work out. I have recently wanted to reach out and call her to see how she is dong and chat and let her know that I still care for her. Common sense is telling me to let her go and have her space and that she will reach out if she is interested. On the other side, my heart is telling to fight for what I want as I can't get any more rejected than I currently am. Which route would you choose if eventual reconciliation was your hope? Or am I off base with even the hope for reconciliation and setting myself up for failure?
todreaminblue Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I read a quote once that stated".....the only failure is when you stop trying......" or something like that follow your heart....and you wont have regrets even if you do get rejected....your heart will recover.......and you will move on......deb
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