four months NC

[wasntlooking]

My story is in another one of my threads but thought id start another. Its been four months NC with MM. I ended it even though i didnt want to. I fell for him to deep and had to go. He really disnt say much when i ended it and havent heard from him since. So why does NC make me feel like he never enjoyed me? Im not looking for a quick fix here and no lectures. I just am on such a roller coaster ride everyday. Today i feel like he didnt care for me becUse he has stuck with NC for so long...but then again i still care for him and am doing NC too......such a rollercoaster...i want to get off of it

[Kalee35]

I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through. It's hard because this relates back to your childhood no doubt and what you associate with what love is. The fact is that this person does not genuinely love you. It took me a long time to realize that the partners I chose and the heartbreak I continued to experience were a direct result of my childhood and the love I never experienced as a child. Have you thought about talking to a Christian counselor?

[Rollercoaster Rider]

My story is in another one of my threads but thought id start another. Its been four months NC with MM. I ended it even though i didnt want to. I fell for him to deep and had to go. He really disnt say much when i ended it and havent heard from him since. So why does NC make me feel like he never enjoyed me? Im not looking for a quick fix here and no lectures. I just am on such a roller coaster ride everyday. Today i feel like he didnt care for me becUse he has stuck with NC for so long...but then again i still care for him and am doing NC too......such a rollercoaster...i want to get off of it

The only thing you should be worried about..is that YOU have stuck to NC and that's all that matters :-) Remember..you made the decision that works for you! Make this about you, not him. And trust me, I feel your pain..I'm right there with you. But, think about you, he's a POS :-) :-) :-) :-)

[wasntlooking]

I did grow up in broken homes and may just have something to do with this but i just know that hes a differeng kind of guy, never spoke about his emotions really, he tols me he doesng talk about them that much, holds it all in.....never knew that trait about him would haunt me for so long

[Kalee35]

I hate to see anyone hurting because I know what it feels like. You are worth so much more than for someone to make you feel the way you do right now. You have to realize that. I would definitely recommend talking to a counselor. I know all too well what it feels like not to feel loved as a child and I grew up with my biological parents. It's an awful feeling. I will pray for you sweetheart. If I could give you a hug right now I would.

[Rollercoaster Rider]

I hate to see anyone hurting because I know what it feels like. You are worth so much more than for someone to make you feel the way you do right now. You have to realize that. I would definitely recommend talking to a counselor. I know all too well what it feels like not to feel loved as a child and I grew up with my biological parents. It's an awful feeling. I will pray for you sweetheart. If I could give you a hug right now I would.

It's interesting to hear you talk about childhood. My therapist and I started talking about this our last session. Feeling like you aren't important and so on. Definitely can relate to the childhood issues. And it sucks to have to deal with it now.

[Kalee35]

My father was a narcissist and my mother was withdrawn from me emotionally so I never felt real love from either of them. I know without a doubt after doing tons of research online that this definitely had to do with the partners I chose. I start seeing a therapist this week and for once I'm ready to get to the bottom of it all and correct this distorted view of what I think love is supposed to feel like and also ready to start feeling like I am someone worth loving.