spacebound0407 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 (edited) My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me 2 months ago. I am really struggling with it. I really didn’t see it coming, we were looking at houses to buy one day and the next she didn’t want the relationship anymore. The night she broke up with me she needed time to sort things out and she hoped one day we could try again, I think she was just being nice or buying “insurance” with me. She also said she wanted space and I have done that. I have only texted her once one week after the break up and all I said was I love you. I have done all the basics to try and feel better. I have been spending time with my friends, tried to get new hobbies, anything to distract myself. Nothing is helping. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I miss her so much it physically hurts. I feel a little pathetic but I even started seeing a therapist because I have been so upset. I have removed everything from my apartment that reminds me of her. I don’t have Facebook or any social media that I will see her on, I avoid any possible place that I could run into her at. I know that she has no idea how I am doing or that I am taking it so hard. I am good looking, I have a decent job, I don’t have a problem getting a date but the thought of dating someone else makes me sick. It makes me even sicker to think of her dating someone else, which I am sure she is probably doing. Not just sick, it breaks my heart. I thought I was going to marry this girl. I would move mountains if I thought I had a chance to get her back. I don’t know how else to cope. I have horrible anxiety that I never had before. I keep thinking she is going to show up at my door one night and say she made a mistake. I am really not ready to date, I think it will only make me feel worse. Besides the usual answers, like exercise, hanging out with friends and new hobbies what else can help me move on and accept she doesn’t love me anymore? I feel like every day is getting harder, not easier. Edited January 28, 2014 by spacebound0407
CLS63AMG Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Been there, done that buddy. Hang in there - I know it sucks, its one of the worst things we have to deal with. A little advice - its still very early, you're not going to get any relief for at least a couple, few more months. Friends can help to talk with and blow off steam, but the wrong friends can make it worse by constantly reminding you of her - which is bad. Start going for walks, visit the animal shelter, walk dogs, take up a new sport...just do something different. "This too will pass and time marches on"are your best friends right now. You'll learn from this
ithappenedagain Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Don't feel pathetic at all man.. Everything you said is completely normal. Hell, I am right there with you man, except it's only been about 2 weeks since the BU for me... But man... seriously.. don't feel bad going to a therapist. They are professionals that can help you! I think its awesome that you did that. It shows that you want to heal your heart and you are taking steps forwards, and not backwards. Our stories are very similar too.. One day we were looking for bigger places to live and the next, literally, the next day she said she didn't want to be with me anymore. Freaking sucks, doesn't it? Sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me too. It comes and goes in waves. I havent really found a method to beat it yet. I just ride the wave... From what I hear, it will get better with time. My ex is the type of girl who can literally get anyone she wants - and she always would rub that in my face too So just imagine how I feel when my mind starts thinking of her.. I am sure you can relate! Anyways... Hang in there dude. I will leave you with something that I posted earlier this week: Loving someone so much, even after a horrendous breakup is a great trait to have. That means you have a heart!! I'd rather have that trait than being a serial dater who jumps from relationship to relationship with a flip of a switch.. Just be thankful of this trait. One day it's going to work wonders for you 1
crimsoncurrent Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I had a relationship of 3 1/2 years end last year, and even now, I still miss her. When it comes to a difficult breakup, the best way I've learned to examine the situation is that it's similar to grief. You'll think about the person, dream about them, have vivid memories of the person, but as cliche as this may sound, the painful emotions do lessen in their intensity overtime. I think it's great you're receiving therapy and maintaining no contact with her. I wish you well.
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Therapy can be a huge benefit. Nothing to be ashamed of. I went to at least 15 or 16 sessions over about 7 months. Helped immensely. But, you must find a therapist who you can open up to. I think women are better than men for this, but that's just my $.02. Do what works for you!!!
bubblesbursted Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I will leave you with something that I posted earlier this week: Loving someone so much, even after a horrendous breakup is a great trait to have. That means you have a heart!! I'd rather have that trait than being a serial dater who jumps from relationship to relationship with a flip of a switch.. Just be thankful of this trait. One day it's going to work wonders for you I couldnt help but feel better after reading your quote. I was suffering the same pain as him. And to top it I just broke my NC thank you for posting this
Searching4Wisdom Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me 2 months ago. I am really struggling with it. I really didn’t see it coming, we were looking at houses to buy one day and the next she didn’t want the relationship anymore. The night she broke up with me she needed time to sort things out and she hoped one day we could try again, I think she was just being nice or buying “insurance” with me. She also said she wanted space and I have done that. I have only texted her once one week after the break up and all I said was I love you. I have done all the basics to try and feel better. I have been spending time with my friends, tried to get new hobbies, anything to distract myself. Nothing is helping. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I miss her so much it physically hurts. I feel a little pathetic but I even started seeing a therapist because I have been so upset. I have removed everything from my apartment that reminds me of her. I don’t have Facebook or any social media that I will see her on, I avoid any possible place that I could run into her at. I know that she has no idea how I am doing or that I am taking it so hard. I am good looking, I have a decent job, I don’t have a problem getting a date but the thought of dating someone else makes me sick. It makes me even sicker to think of her dating someone else, which I am sure she is probably doing. Not just sick, it breaks my heart. I thought I was going to marry this girl. I would move mountains if I thought I had a chance to get her back. I don’t know how else to cope. I have horrible anxiety that I never had before. I keep thinking she is going to show up at my door one night and say she made a mistake. I am really not ready to date, I think it will only make me feel worse. Besides the usual answers, like exercise, hanging out with friends and new hobbies what else can help me move on and accept she doesn’t love me anymore? I feel like every day is getting harder, not easier. Hey man, just read your post and I too am going through what you are going through. I'm feeling exactly what you are feeling. I've just joined this site to try and help me get through this pain of heartbreak and sadness. It's such a difficult thing to experience and every day is a a battle to get through trying to get used to a new life without the person I love in it. I'm going through a breakup after nearly 9 years together, it's still pretty raw as the finality of the situation has only just happened about a month ago (just before Xmas) but I miss her so much, and miss the life we had, everything really. The hardest part in all this is knowing that nothing I do can or will change the situation. This was her decision and the feelings of rejection and unworthiness I am feeling at the moment are really hard to experience. Like you I am trying to do all the things that are "recommended" but in all honesty, the only thing that is going to help us both is time. I am planning to make a post on this site just to get my thoughts and feelings out and it seems that there are a lot of people going through similar experiences so hopefully chatting to others can help us through this tough time. I just wanted to say I feel your pain bro and if you need to talk, I'm happy to chat.
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