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Do you guys ever feel tired of looking for the right one again?

JonathanAnder

By JonathanAnder
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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JonathanAnder Member

JonathanAnder

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Dating sites, Bars, Mutual friends introducing me to some girls.

 

I'm just tired of all of them. seems still can't find the right girl for me.

 

Still wanting my ex back after 4 months :/

Tayla Established Member

Tayla

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There is no "right" or "one and only", once you learn that it will become easier to gravitate towards someone who is more to your current liking.

 

You'll change thru out your dating times...modifying and curtailing your dreams and standards.

 

When it gets tedious...take a break....there is no shame in sitting it out for awhile and being self reliant.

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JonathanAnder Member

JonathanAnder

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so stop looking is the best thing to do?

guest572 Established Member

guest572

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It sounds like you need a bit more time, if you are still missing your ex then no-one is going to measure up.

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CLS63AMG Established Member

CLS63AMG

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You need to stop and spend some time with yourself to get over what has happened.

 

Its healthy and 100% normal (advised).

 

Sounds like you're trying to find a rebound to hide from dealing with your break up - that's not how you do it.

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Molls New Member

Molls

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I feel that way too. I guess that's why people stay in bad relationships...they don't want to start over. It's better to move on and keep trying.

organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

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so stop looking is the best thing to do?

 

Be happy with yourself first. It's not a sprint.

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TheyCallMeOx Established Member

TheyCallMeOx

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I'm taking a year off of relationships. My ex and I broke up around 4 months as well, but I only recently decided to stay single for a year. I also want to refrain from having any kind of sexual contact with women, but I can't make any promises there. :p However, I am planning on staying single till next year...and a part of the reason why is because how you feel. I had an online dating profile. I answered like 1,000 questions about myself, had a really long and interesting profile, had women giving my profile 5 stars left and right, landed a date that went pretty well but we weren't compatible with how we pursue relationships, and in the end...I realized that I was just trying too hard to get back in a relationship. I thought I was ready to get back into a relationship, but I really wasn't. I've still got a lot of feelings to get rid of, and I gotta work some **** out in my life. My ex-girlfriend was a really awesome person to date; I wanna be awesome too, so that our relationship won't end up the same way my last relationship ended up. In order to get to awesome mode, I gotta spend this time on myself, stop focusing on women, and better my life. You should too, because it seems like you're getting impatient trying to find a woman to "heal your wounds," but in reality...you're only setting your next relationship up for failure if you don't take the time to heal.

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oracle Established Member

oracle

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I can't even imagine building a life again with someone.

 

I focus on being happy and living in the now.

 

Im not fully processed to be a partner to anyone yet, the ghost of relationship past would be a passenger on that ride. So I don't see a point inflicting myself upon someone. Just wouldn't be fair to them at this time.

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OpheliaSong Established Member

OpheliaSong

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I feel like everyone thinks I should be dating right away and trying to find a boyfriend when I am just not ready. I think we just have to move at our own pace and not let others influence us on something so personal. I don't known why women are expected to always be looking for a husband. It is getting annoying.

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reddragon588 Established Member

reddragon588

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yes but once you find someone it will make it that much more rewarding

Omei Established Member

Omei

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I can't even imagine building a life again with someone.

 

I focus on being happy and living in the now.

 

Im not fully processed to be a partner to anyone yet, the ghost of relationship past would be a passenger on that ride. So I don't see a point inflicting myself upon someone. Just wouldn't be fair to them at this time.

 

I feel just like you do, I've already been single for a year I might go two.

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oracle Established Member

oracle

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I feel just like you do, I've already been single for a year I might go two.

 

 

I been technically single for 3.5 yrs... but I was still sharing my house with the ex during that time. on my own 60 days.

 

Lotsa wasted time

mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

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I feel just like you do, I've already been single for a year I might go two.

 

Agreed. I don't think I'm the type of person to have a RS just to have one (like my ex). I need to have a connection with someone first. I've only had a few LTR's and I don't really want to jump into something because it's what I'm supposed to do...

 

But, at the same time, as I get older, I do crave the companionship of a SO. Life is kinda boring and lonely right now :(

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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In order to get to awesome mode, I gotta spend this time on myself, stop focusing on women, and better my life.

I'm doing the same thing. I don't even want to bother trying again until I feel really good and strong in my life.

 

Yes, sometimes the idea of looking for the right guy for me is quite daunting. But once I'm ready, I think I'll have a different attitude about it.

 

Given the terrible weather right now, I'm totally focused on my business, and this month is our strongest month revenue-wise since August 2012 - my hard work is paying off!

 

Once it warms up a little, I'm going to turn more of my attention to health and fitness. Right now, I'm just maintaining baseline health, but not being very active because of the weather - my preferred fitness activities happen outdoors.

 

By spring or summer I hope to be feeling more stable and ready to consider dating and romance again.

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Inviv_girl Established Member

Inviv_girl

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It is different with the men, we are woman have limited time to look for the right one to have family and kids with. I am so stressful to have relationship always ended like this. I want to get married and have kids - have family! But the Mr Right is stuck on a tree or something?!? :rolleyes:

Never Again Established Member

Never Again

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I was done looking a year and a half ago.

 

Met an amazing girl. I knew just a few months in that I wanted to pursue it seriously.

 

But a previous relationship's ghost came to haunt me, literally to a degree, and I silently imploded and sabotaged the relationship I had.

 

Living in the present is difficult at this point, so I won't be looking anytime soon.

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bubbaganoosh Established Member

bubbaganoosh

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I was married twice. In both cases when the marriages ended, I so so pissed off from the hassle that the only way to get over it was keeping to myself and looking out for me until my mind was clear.

 

I was in no hurry and stayed single and then wife #2 came along and when that fizzled, I did the same thing and when I did date again, I didn't bring all that used baggage with me because I had enough time to get over it and with that I felt like I had a clean slate to start over.

 

If, by chance the woman I was dating brought up something from one of the marriages, I could answer her without going on and on about it to a point that it made me angry again.

 

That's the way I did it and have no regrets but there was no way on earth I was going to jump out of one relationship and in to another without a time out.

BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

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Before I met my recent ex, I was single for 4 years because I was simply done with relationships. I was sick of investing and getting hurt. Then, I met the ex and thought he was it. Funny how it all worked out because I initially resisted going out with him.

RDawg Established Member

RDawg

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I can't even contemplate it at the moment. I feel that aspect of my life is no longer under my control. Need to heal first but it feels like it's going to take forever.

AnyaNova Established Member

AnyaNova

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Dating sites, Bars, Mutual friends introducing me to some girls.

 

I'm just tired of all of them. seems still can't find the right girl for me.

 

Still wanting my ex back after 4 months :/

 

Reverse the genders and I don't know about that last statement at the moment, and all I can say is, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

(totally).

ain5053 Established Member

ain5053

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I don't know how to get rid of the feeling of wanting your ex back. I completely understand you. It is uncertain of when it is okay to start dating again, because there is a constant "what if" in your head. What if we will get back together? What if things work out after all?.. It is the hardest thing to go through

central Established Member

central

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Dating sites, Bars, Mutual friends introducing me to some girls.

 

I'm just tired of all of them. seems still can't find the right girl for me.

 

Still wanting my ex back after 4 months :/

 

The bolded is the heart of your problem. Until you move on from your ex, no one else will compare favorably.

 

Also, do you really know what you want? What values, goals, interests, personality traits, communication style, libido level, etc.? Unless you do, and are also honest about what you have to offer, you won't recognize "the right girl" if she falls in your lap.

No Limit Established Member

No Limit

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It's these ups and downs what life is made of. Go with the flow. :)

BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

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It seems so daunting to invest in someone again. It's such a bizarre thing to have your life planned to go a certain way, and now it's all changed. Sometimes, it seems daunting to even decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'm trying to take it one step at a time, but it's hard some days.

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