delpedro21 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 i need a bit of advice. I started dating my girlfriend about 2 months ago. A few days ago we had a talk about ex partners. One of her ex bf was the love of her life,her exact words, and that they only broke up because he moved countries. She then had other relationships and had a baby with one of them. Just a few weeks after she found out she was pregnant and still in a relationship with the babies father, the "love of her life" moved back to the country. Since he arrived they had sex regularly for 3 years, even though both of them where in relationships. During those 3 years she broke up with the babies father and had other relationships. But the sex between them never stopped. She told me that a year ago they had a talk and that it finally stopped. I asked why they never actually got back together since there was a time during those 3 years that they where both single. She told me it was because the guy didnt want to raise someone else's child. Now, i dont know if i should believe that this as stopped or that it wont happen again, since she didnt seem to bothered cheating on 3-4 different guys and him cheating on a gf of 5 years. What should i do??
ascendotum Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater, but I believe many will do it again before they become that person, who now can hold their hand over their heart and say I will never cheat again. She's one who has done it numerous times, but has she learned to do the right thing now. I doubt it from what you wrote. It is hard to know for sure, but she certainly has the propensity. Did it full well knowing the guy was never going to want her as a gf anymore. In her defense you could say this was the the 'love of her life' + ex bf, and not some random, or opportunistic dalliance, or some impulsive drunken or upset at bf type episode either. This guy has a strong pull on her though so if he became available in future and wanted her back for a booty call again, you'd be guy number 5 she cheated on for sure I reckon. Its up to you if you want to stay with her, but I don't think you should be daydreaming about a long life together, unless you are fine with 'what I don't know cant hurt me' when it comes to her. 2
Author delpedro21 Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater, but I believe many will do it again before they become that person, who now can hold their hand over their heart and say I will never cheat again. She's one who has done it numerous times, but has she learned to do the right thing now. I doubt it from what you wrote. It is hard to know for sure, but she certainly has the propensity. Did it full well knowing the guy was never going to want her as a gf anymore. In her defense you could say this was the the 'love of her life' + ex bf, and not some random, or opportunistic dalliance, or some impulsive drunken or upset at bf type episode either. This guy has a strong pull on her though so if he became available in future and wanted her back for a booty call again, you'd be guy number 5 she cheated on for sure I reckon. Its up to you if you want to stay with her, but I don't think you should be daydreaming about a long life together, unless you are fine with 'what I don't know cant hurt me' when it comes to her. Thank you for the reply. I agree with what you said. She is a great girl to me. I really have nothing to complain from the time we have been together. She as been amazing and shows me she loves me all the time. I just cant stop wondering that at any point in the future, either because of a little argument we may have or a simple call from him, she will just go and do it. And she as "mastered" how to cheat and get away with it. So i will really never know. I believe that people learn from mistakes and try to be better, but it seemed to me that she had no remorse or guilt from doing it. The only reason she gave was that she felt sorry for the girl he was with, and that was the reason they stopped. But they did it behind this girls back for 2-3 years. I dont really see how i can give her a change to prove she as changed since i will not be able to know if she is doing it or not
bubbaganoosh Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 If it was me, this girl would not be my first choice. She's hung up on the love of her life and with her track record, she's pretty much telling you that she isn't one to be trusted. I'll give her credit for being so honest with you but IMO she wouldn't be the one I would want to settle down with. Her heart will always belong to that love of her life and no doubt every guy since, she's compared them to her first love. You included. If your looking to settle down, then IMO keep looking. 2
Author delpedro21 Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 If it was me, this girl would not be my first choice. She's hung up on the love of her life and with her track record, she's pretty much telling you that she isn't one to be trusted. I'll give her credit for being so honest with you but IMO she wouldn't be the one I would want to settle down with. Her heart will always belong to that love of her life and no doubt every guy since, she's compared them to her first love. You included. If your looking to settle down, then IMO keep looking. I fear you are only to right saying that. She clearly still as loads of feelings for this guy, and she does not mind if she is with someone or he is. As long as she can be with him, even if its only for sex. Do you think she as or will ever move from this??
bubbaganoosh Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I fear you are only to right saying that. She clearly still as loads of feelings for this guy, and she does not mind if she is with someone or he is. As long as she can be with him, even if its only for sex. Do you think she as or will ever move from this?? Do you really want to take that chance? I can't tell you what to do but she's already told you that she cheated with her past relationships to be with this guy. I seriously doubt she's over him and if he calls her and says that he changed his mind and wants her back, then my money is on her taking off to be with him. Where does that leave you. You know that answer just like the other guys she cheated on with. To me it's not worth it 1
crederer Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I think you already know what you should do, man
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