Fondue Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 First off, many women multi-date. So don't feel like there is any shame in it if you do. Some men (and women) will tell you that a guy "shouldn't" do that, but tell them to bugger off. I multi-dated all summer. I had many dates with many different women. While it was fun, it was also expensive-- and time consuming! It distracted me from my job, which also kind of sucked. I wasn't able to complete my work on time because I was always so busy with these women. I would suggest that you definitely try it, but avoid commitment. Otherwise that might be "considered" cheating. First off: You don't have to maintain contact with all these women constantly. It's actually better that you don't. You don't have time for this. And they'll end up contacting YOU regardless. Which makes you that much more attractive, actually. Second: Always be aware of your schedule. Don't double book. I made a mistake early on where I booked two dates on one evening. It sucks having to choose one and cancel on the other. Third: Don't give them false hope. Don't feed them lies. Don't make promises or anything of the sort. At the same time, don't feed them the truth that isn't necessary. You don't have to volunteer that you're seeing other people. If they ask, say you ARE trying to make new friends. But keep it at that, don't dive into it. Lastly: Respect them. All of them. If you feel like things will simply not work out with one, two, three, etc. of them, let them know. I made this mistake as well, I had not been considerate enough to let go of some of the girls early enough that they actually ended up being a bit hurt. It goes with the third rule, actually. While I NEVER gave any false hope, I think by keeping that "relationship" going on for longer than it should have, I probably inadvertently gave them false hope. Don't do this. Goodluck, man. Again, don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't do it. It isn't selfish. It isn't bad. Dating is about finding someone you're capable with. This is a good way to do it. 1
SYLLPalmer Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 You almost got it right. The only difference is that I don't commit to one woman. God, no. That's just setting yourself up for heartbreak. I instead commit to multiple women. I usually keep 4 to 5 in my rotation at all times. I make them feel special and they all think I "love" them. Anytime one or two start slacking or misbehaving, simply replace them with another. That way, I'm always getting laid when I want to. Only commit if you want marriage and all that crap. Bull****! Mickey and Maude plus 2 or 3 more? Maybe if they are all somehow disabled mentally and or physically. Then I might believe it depending on the degree of limitation. Either way, it doesn't look good.
winny Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 (edited) You don't have time for this. And they'll end up contacting YOU regardless. Which makes you that much more attractive, actually. Third: Don't give them false hope. Don't feed them lies. Don't make promises or anything of the sort. At the same time, don't feed them the truth that isn't necessary. You don't have to volunteer that you're seeing other people. If they ask, say you ARE trying to make new friends. But keep it at that, don't dive into it. Lastly: Respect them. All of them. If you feel like things will simply not work out with one, two, three, etc. of them, let them know. I made this mistake as well, I had not been considerate enough to let go of some of the girls early enough that they actually ended up being a bit hurt. It goes with the third rule, actually. While I NEVER gave any false hope, I think by keeping that "relationship" going on for longer than it should have, I probably inadvertently gave them false hope. Don't do this. Goodluck, man. Again, don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't do it. It isn't selfish. It isn't bad. Dating is about finding someone you're capable with. This is a good way to do it. What kind of BS advice is this? Respect them by hiding that you are dating others too??? When you are going out with someone more than once, you ARE giving them the hope that you are into them. Even if you don't say it directly. If a person is really smart and intelligent and knows what he/she is looking for... 50% of work is done only by talking to prospects. The other 50% which includes chemistry can be known in a date or two. If you have to keep on going on multiple dates with multiple people, kissing them and doing other physical stuff (Excluding sex) again n again... I guess that person has no idea what he/she is looking for. The more options you keep, the more confusion it creates, more people get hurt. My advice is: Before dating anyone, spend some time knowing yourself. What you want. What are the things you are looking for in a partner. Be very very sure about this. Then evaluate people by meeting them and talking to them 2-3 times. This is when you can multi date. And this is when you eliminate those who don't seem good enough. Next, choose the best one out of them and date that person exclusively to know them at a deeper level. Only when you give your undivided attention to someone you get to know them properly. And this is when you get physical with them. If things work out .. great. You get committed. If not, go back and start meeting new people. Edited January 28, 2014 by winny
Leigh 87 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Heh, I'd cross that bridge when I come to it. I just think I have to make sure to remember what girl was wearing what panties. I would do everything I possibly can to make sure all their needs and desires are fulfilled. Or is that still not enough? If I can do it without having to lie, then it will be great. Right now it's purely a pipe dream. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have more than one official girlfriend. But! I could be much more selective in who I choose to eventually become that girlfriend. As much as I liked my ex and how amazing I thought she was, I did kind of feel that I settled for her because I had no other options. If I had been dating at least one other girl, I probably would not have picked my ex simply because she lived far away and we'd only see each other a few times a week. So that is what multi-dating can do. Damn, now I'm really wondering how last year could have been if I had chosen a different girl. The men I know who fell head over heals for their girlfriend's absolutely DID NOT feel like they settled due to a lack of options:sick: I don't thinky boyfriend feels that way about me. Even though I am miss average. To him, he thought I was gorgeous and he seemed crazy about me from date one . L I think if you found a girl who knocked your socks off you wouldn't want to date others.
crederer Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I dunno man it basically just kind of takes care of itself if you don't over think it. Naturally the one you're into the most will start getting the most of your attention. I've never put it down into logical thought it just kind of happened.
somedude81 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 The men I know who fell head over heals for their girlfriend's absolutely DID NOT feel like they settled due to a lack of options:sick: Getting dumped by that person tends to change the feelings about them... I think if you found a girl who knocked your socks off you wouldn't want to date others. Adding to the fact that I'm bitter towards her because she dumped me, we only saw each other three times a week. I was not happy with that. There's also the feeling that I settled because she did not meet all my sexual needs but it was her or nothing. Ideally I would have liked to be in a sexual relationship with about three girls and then commit to the one that is the best match in many areas. I would then let the other girls go.
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