snappytomcat Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 hello everyone this is kinda of a rant,and I wished I had found this site on dday,that was june 7th of last year,we are doing well,the good days are out weighing the bad,we still have lots of work to do but we are both fully committed to this. anyhow when I first heard those awful words I love you but not in love with you I asked him if there was anyone else,he lied and said no,but I did find out couple months later,but I google everything I could on cheating,and googled other stuff too,the thing that made me mad was most of these sites said if you look good for your man he wont cheat,have the house clean,cook him dinner,go to the gym,have your hair,and makeup done when he gets home,i did do all this and he still cheated,but I think its sexist I did because it made me feel good,and I wanted too.anyways shouldn't the same go for the husbands?i never read anywhere about husbands looking good for their wives,i really love my husband but hes very overweight,balding,and his clothes are all old he hates shopping,its unfair that wives are pressured to look a certain way while the husband isnt
Philosoraptor Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Don't blame yourself for his choices or believe that your actions can cause or stop someone from cheating. If it is in them to betray their partner then they are a risk to betray their partner. Don't allow anyone to pressure you into doing anything. Any man or woman who allows society to determine what they should be is making the choice to do so.
Elias33 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 People should look good for themselves and their partners. It is very uplifting for the relationship and life itself. There is sometimes the double standard where the wife needs to do her nails and go to the salon, while having dinner ready at 6. Only while the husband looks like dogsh*t if you will. If you spend enough on your physique and hygiene, and your partner still cheats, it is on them. It is their shortcomings. 1
Philosoraptor Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 If you spend enough on your physique and hygiene, and your partner still cheats, it is on them. It is their shortcomings. It's never on you if your partner cheats. They had the opportunity to end the relationship before they cheated but made the choice to betray the relationship. Again, it's never on you if your partner makes the choice to cheat. 2
cozycottagelg Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 hello everyone this is kinda of a rant,and I wished I had found this site on dday,that was june 7th of last year,we are doing well,the good days are out weighing the bad,we still have lots of work to do but we are both fully committed to this. anyhow when I first heard those awful words I love you but not in love with you I asked him if there was anyone else,he lied and said no,but I did find out couple months later,but I google everything I could on cheating,and googled other stuff too,the thing that made me mad was most of these sites said if you look good for your man he wont cheat,have the house clean,cook him dinner,go to the gym,have your hair,and makeup done when he gets home,i did do all this and he still cheated,but I think its sexist I did because it made me feel good,and I wanted too.anyways shouldn't the same go for the husbands?i never read anywhere about husbands looking good for their wives,i really love my husband but hes very overweight,balding,and his clothes are all old he hates shopping,its unfair that wives are pressured to look a certain way while the husband isnt And any website that lists things a woman needs to do in order to not get cheated on, really holds no credibility. 1
central Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 You can do all the "right" things, and still be wrong. If those things aren't the ones that matter to your spouse, they won't care, and may be wishing (or have event told you) what does matter to them. And if you're not a good match in some way (real or perceived), it probably won't matter what you do.
painfullyobvious Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Many cheaters are needy, self-centered and narcissistic individuals that would cheat if they exactly what they stated they wanted in a partner. Some cheaters feel entitled and just do it because they want to. I agree with the other posters in that there are many steps that could be taken before cheating if a person is unhappy. There are no excuses for cheating do not let anyone else tell you differently
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