bambiwboone Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Well our plans of finally starting a life together ended. With no warning . In fact he was at my house telling me how much he loved me. How he was pretty certain this time I was what he wanted. He was going to call about his house. He was actually talking about real life things. Then he told me he was going to talk to his brother...then he started messaging me he needed more time. That I can't give him. I'm exhausted w/ all of this. Then he starts to be very cold. I have seen this from him before..I new where this was going:( Then he tells me how he don't think he could be a step father again. How much my husband loves me and he just don't. Wait...what? Let's rewind about this loved thing to Sept 2013. That's when he first told me he loved me. Couldn't live without me and new I was what he wanted. Told me to think about it over the weekend. Come Monday..he was silent I told him I to loved him and wanted to try. But I could tell he had changed. I asked him if he really loved me and essentially he had said no. Dday # 3 happened that week ha! I have a bad temper:/ We didn't talk till December 7th. We ran into eachother and he said he really wanted to see me. So I met up w/ him. He told me he did love me he got scared. I cried and told him you dont play w/ people s emotions like toys. Promise me you would never say that unless you mean it. He did. So as you can imagine I felt like I was kicked in the stomach. He said we could b friends I told him he wasn't the kind of friend I wanted in my life. Anyway, this all boiled down to another explosive dday. I told his wife my husband. The only thing I didn't do us show our messages. I figured I spared him this time. He was very verbal w me this time " go f yourself" " you hurt the only person I love". But what really hurt me was I was in my bedroom and I hear my daughter 9 nervously say "mom!" I GO into my living room and I see three people standing in my living room ( they broke in the front door) . I walk out there and they start telling me I need to leave my ex mms alone. This was dday # 2 and I hadn't talked to him all day. His wife was upset and texting me. But even that was done. I told them to get out several times.. The girl who was much larger that I walked up to me and attacked me in front of my kids. My kids were hysterical. Eventually they ran off. I called the cops. I want to believe he didn't have anything to do w/ this. Part of me understands why he had itdone if did. Do you guys think he'll be back? Or is this it? Im not sure if I can handle yet another year of this.
Anne Boleyn Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Could he be back? Possibly. Sounds like his emotions change with the wind. Should he be taken back...? Eh... That one is on you. If you do, expect more of what happened before to happen again, and continue to happen, as long as you allow it. Now comes the question "is this worth it?" He's obviously fickle, so... I'm not sure. He's not the most reliable of horses to bet on so far. 1
Sub Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I don't mean to sound crass, but three D-Days, people breaking into your house, and being attacked in front of your kids....I think it's time to consider this was a mistake from jump and get away. Just far, far away. 1
Author bambiwboone Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I don't mean to sound crass, but three D-Days, people breaking into your house, and being attacked in front of your kids....I think it's time to consider this was a mistake from jump and get away. Just far, far away. I know! It sounds crazy. He actually told me I'm crazy. Sometimes I wonder if he's right. Sometimes I think hes emotionally abusive. I never thought I would put up w/ this. I used to be the wise friend. I feel so bad for him sometimes. He has been through allot:(
Sub Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 You also need to take some responsibility, though. You don't have to be that sane(see "not crazy") to figure that there are risks attached with being involved with a MM. Sometimes serious risks. 1
Owl Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Well our plans of finally starting a life together ended. With no warning . In fact he was at my house telling me how much he loved me. How he was pretty certain this time I was what he wanted. He was going to call about his house. He was actually talking about real life things. Then he told me he was going to talk to his brother...then he started messaging me he needed more time. That I can't give him. I'm exhausted w/ all of this. Then he starts to be very cold. I have seen this from him before..I new where this was going:( Then he tells me how he don't think he could be a step father again. How much my husband loves me and he just don't. Wait...what? Let's rewind about this loved thing to Sept 2013. That's when he first told me he loved me. Couldn't live without me and new I was what he wanted. Told me to think about it over the weekend. Come Monday..he was silent I told him I to loved him and wanted to try. But I could tell he had changed. I asked him if he really loved me and essentially he had said no. Dday # 3 happened that week ha! I have a bad temper:/ We didn't talk till December 7th. We ran into eachother and he said he really wanted to see me. So I met up w/ him. He told me he did love me he got scared. I cried and told him you dont play w/ people s emotions like toys. Promise me you would never say that unless you mean it. He did. So as you can imagine I felt like I was kicked in the stomach. He said we could b friends I told him he wasn't the kind of friend I wanted in my life. Anyway, this all boiled down to another explosive dday. I told his wife my husband. The only thing I didn't do us show our messages. I figured I spared him this time. He was very verbal w me this time " go f yourself" " you hurt the only person I love". But what really hurt me was I was in my bedroom and I hear my daughter 9 nervously say "mom!" I GO into my living room and I see three people standing in my living room ( they broke in the front door) . I walk out there and they start telling me I need to leave my ex mms alone. This was dday # 2 and I hadn't talked to him all day. His wife was upset and texting me. But even that was done. I told them to get out several times.. The girl who was much larger that I walked up to me and attacked me in front of my kids. My kids were hysterical. Eventually they ran off. I called the cops. I want to believe he didn't have anything to do w/ this. Part of me understands why he had itdone if did. Do you guys think he'll be back? Or is this it? Im not sure if I can handle yet another year of this. Where in the hell is your H in all of this?!?! What's YOUR plan for divorcing? I'd suggest you tell MoM to smurf off until he's free to be with you, completely and totally. Focus on accomplishing your own divorce, now. Make that your priority. It needs to happen, and happen independently of OM...in fact, regardless of whether or not he'll be there for you. That's my advice.
Author bambiwboone Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 Where in the hell is your H in all of this?!?! What's YOUR plan for divorcing? I'd suggest you tell MoM to smurf off until he's free to be with you, completely and totally. Focus on accomplishing your own divorce, now. Make that your priority. It needs to happen, and happen independently of OM...in fact, regardless of whether or not he'll be there for you. That's my advice. Well I think I think it was a misunderstanding when I asked if he'd be back. I just don't want to heal and him shake stuff up again. I have been dumping every ounce of what I hvnt into my marriage for the first time in a year. And it's paying off!! The attention id give mom I give my husband.
krazikat Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Well our plans of finally starting a life together ended. With no warning . In fact he was at my house telling me how much he loved me. How he was pretty certain this time I was what he wanted. He was going to call about his house. He was actually talking about real life things. Then he told me he was going to talk to his brother...then he started messaging me he needed more time. That I can't give him. I'm exhausted w/ all of this. Then he starts to be very cold. I have seen this from him before..I new where this was going:( Then he tells me how he don't think he could be a step father again. How much my husband loves me and he just don't. Wait...what? Let's rewind about this loved thing to Sept 2013. That's when he first told me he loved me. Couldn't live without me and new I was what he wanted. Told me to think about it over the weekend. Come Monday..he was silent I told him I to loved him and wanted to try. But I could tell he had changed. I asked him if he really loved me and essentially he had said no. Dday # 3 happened that week ha! I have a bad temper:/ We didn't talk till December 7th. We ran into eachother and he said he really wanted to see me. So I met up w/ him. He told me he did love me he got scared. I cried and told him you dont play w/ people s emotions like toys. Promise me you would never say that unless you mean it. He did. So as you can imagine I felt like I was kicked in the stomach. He said we could b friends I told him he wasn't the kind of friend I wanted in my life. Anyway, this all boiled down to another explosive dday. I told his wife my husband. The only thing I didn't do us show our messages. I figured I spared him this time. He was very verbal w me this time " go f yourself" " you hurt the only person I love". But what really hurt me was I was in my bedroom and I hear my daughter 9 nervously say "mom!" I GO into my living room and I see three people standing in my living room ( they broke in the front door) . I walk out there and they start telling me I need to leave my ex mms alone. This was dday # 2 and I hadn't talked to him all day. His wife was upset and texting me. But even that was done. I told them to get out several times.. The girl who was much larger that I walked up to me and attacked me in front of my kids. My kids were hysterical. Eventually they ran off. I called the cops. I want to believe he didn't have anything to do w/ this. Part of me understands why he had itdone if did. Do you guys think he'll be back? Or is this it? Im not sure if I can handle yet another year of this. Are you serious? Do you want another round of crazy at this point? I think you should explore ic and learning why you accept this? I just dont understand at all. Why keep taking him back, cheating on your husband, risking your children, what the heck are you thinking? When is enough enough? For your own good, wash your hands of this man and situation. He does not love or respect you. If he did, this would not have happened twice, let alone once. It is actions, not words that count. This goes for you, as well as mm. You saying you dont want a certain behavior means absolutely nothing if you continue to accept it.
Sub Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Well I think I think it was a misunderstanding when I asked if he'd be back. I just don't want to heal and him shake stuff up again. I have been dumping every ounce of what I hvnt into my marriage for the first time in a year. And it's paying off!! The attention id give mom I give my husband. I'm confused. You've been working on your M and planning on starting a life with your OM at the same time?
Owl Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Well I think I think it was a misunderstanding when I asked if he'd be back. I just don't want to heal and him shake stuff up again. I have been dumping every ounce of what I hvnt into my marriage for the first time in a year. And it's paying off!! The attention id give mom I give my husband. You have me confused. Do you love your H? Do you want to have a relationship with him? Or do you want to have a relationship with MoM? The two are mutually exclusive, especially looking forward. Which man do you want to be with? Decide that first, then make that happen. Focusing on that relationship without the distraction of the other is your best bet. So...who is it you're going to spend your life with?
Author bambiwboone Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I'm confused. You've been working on your M and planning on starting a life with your OM at the same time? Working on our marriage the last two weeks. You got to start someday and somewhere. At least I can say I tried. I have never gave it my all. I owe my husband that. I wish I would of a long time ago. But it's to late for that now.
Sub Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Well our plans of finally starting a life together ended. With no warning So when did the above happen?
Owl Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Working on our marriage the last two weeks. You got to start someday and somewhere. At least I can say I tried. I have never gave it my all. I owe my husband that. I wish I would of a long time ago. But it's to late for that now. You can't give it a try if you're still hoping for a life with MoM. You need to pick a path...one way or another. You cannot move in any direction if you're trying to do both at the same time...they're in totally opposite direction.
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