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Dealing with NC with my ex being terminally ill ? How!


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I have known him for more then 20 years , We dated in the past however went our separate ways ( nothing bad happened just mutual agreement ) Always stayed in contact with one another .

I had move and he contacted me saying he was coming out ( we agreed at that time to keep it as a friendship ) That lasted one week and we were together . Almost immediately it was bad and it only got worse . I wanted to make it work because he is really alone . No one every called , His family has nothing to do with him until recently his brother started calling him regularly.

The illness that he has is Huntington's Disease . This is slowly killing his brain and there is no cure all we have done was keep the symptom's under control . He takes different meds ( depression , involuntary movements and such)

We broke up Friday past . I was going to move where he decided to go and we were going to start new and fresh. We got into a argument about his commitment to his son ( 11 years old ) and the contact , His father was not keeping up his end of it and I got very upset . ( son is in foster care ) .

Due to that it was the final straw and I told him I was not coming out there now. ( a lot of things has happened in 18 months that we were together ) .

 

I text him everyday saying good morning even though he does not want me to.

 

I have to figure a way to do this NC because I don't want him to be mad ( makes Huntington's worse and he gets very sick if stressed . Today is the first day that I have not text him yet , I don't want to but I'm shaking just because I know at time he could pass away , He can hurt himself by falling. I am sitting here in tears trying to be mad , Trying to not want to contact him . Darn it not working , he will not be okay with a text from me and this is why I want to respect him enough to follow through.

 

HOW DO I STOP MYSELF WITH THESE BAD FEELINGS thoughts of him in danger ? I keep on looking at my phone to see if he has text me but he will not and I know this.

 

What do I do ?

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