Timpye Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 (edited) Late last year my gf of 4 years broke up with me, which for me came out of no where. She said it was because she felt as though we were different people. Shortly after the break up I messaged her and convinced her to stick together for a little longer and she would realize that we were not at all. After another 2 months and directly after having a disagreement (over something silly) she broke up with me again. This was just a few days after she told me she loves me..she said she gave it a second chance and now she's sure it wasn't meant to be. She said she felt we didn't really have much to talk about, and things I did annoyed her. She also apologized for taking out her anger on me. She said she didn't feel like we had a bad relationship but she felt like we just grew apart over time and we weren't a perfect match. This absolutely shattered me and since the break up Iv realized and repeated in my head all the things I could have done to make things work better. She also agrees and said there was things she could have done better but says it's best to forget about them because it's in the past. Since the break up I continued to contact her regularly but was getting limited and shortened replies. A few weeks ago she however agreed to catch up together for lunch. During this time we talked away and laughed and I thought maybe things would work out... After messaging again after meeting up I received very shortened replies or none at all. I eventually asked her whether she wanted to see me again and told her I still have lots of feelings for her. She replied and said she had fun with me and enjoys talking to me but she needs space and there is absolutely no chance of us getting back together. After this I stupidly messaged her again and got a very blunt answer, I later messaged her again apologizing in which I got no response. Since then I haven't contacted her for a week and a half and deleted her number to prevent myself from doing so. Even after her saying there is no chance of us getting back together I feel there is. It really annoys me that it could all be over especially because we both think we could have done things better and the relationship wasn't bad to start with. I plan on doing no contact for at least a few months to give her space and hope she starts to miss me and contact me. Ps we had been dating since were 16 and have never been with anyone else. I know this is the wrong way to think but I plan on trying to talk to other girls whilst doing NC and secretly hoping that one day things may work out. Until then any advise on getting through no contact? It's been only 1 week and I'm really really struggling, I still think about her all the time, I even dream about her often and have been suffering sever insomnia since the break up. Also do you recommended blocking her from Facebook? I was going to but thought she may want to contact me on their one day or maybe if I remove her she will think Iv completely moved on, I don't know. Thanks if you bothered reading ha Edited January 27, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
Author Timpye Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 Any replies? Iv tried going out and dancing with other girls and no one seems to want to go near me, not only this but I'm still in love with me ex and I feel sooner or later I will cave in and message her and make things worse :/
erklat Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Just stick to the NC. It will get better. It took me six weeks to recover after going no contact. I was contacting her all the time delaying my healing post breakup for three months. All mistakes I foolishly done where in that period. After six weeks of no contact I finally started radiating enthusiasm and positive energy. And it paid off last night. I attracted a younger, prettier girl which has some goals in her life. And shows genuine interest, too. Go NC. Make resolution to emerge a better person from it. Trust me, I know it sucks hearing this lame 'it will be better in a month' because you're in pain now. Try meditation for couple of minutes few times a day. 1
Author Timpye Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 After being ignored by my ex I went into NC for the last 10 days (my story is in my other forum post). Today she messaged me apologizing for ignoring me, saying she just needed space, and she hopes we can be friends. Too be honest I still want to be with her and although I like her as a friend I don't think I could just be friends. What to do?
herself Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Shes panicking and wants an ego boost and your attention back. Ignore Her and focus on you. It was cruel to ignore you, let her see how it feels now. Read the no contact guide again too. Do NOT budge. 1
Author Timpye Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I know going NC is the best way to move on. The thing is I don't want to move on and I'm not going to give up on her. By the way it wasn't rude of her to ignore me, she asked me for space and I didn't give it to her so she ignored me
hea Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 still go NC two weeks isn't long enough for her to realise on what's she's missing out on. If you are to reply, keep it short, and don't ask her questions or tell her too much about what you've been up to. Keep it short and polite, if one of her messages does not require a reply, then don't.
barky2 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Ignore her. That message was me me me me. If she writes to you again post back here. But don't hinder your healing process for something so little. Don't give her a inch on this. Let her head spin. Barky 2
Author Timpye Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I was thinking of just replying and saying it's ok you ignored me I understand, but sorry I don't want to be friends, it won't help me move on.
barky2 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 What's the sense in that? It'll leave you wanting more..setting you back 50 steps. She isn't going to say what you want to hear dude...I promise. Leave it be. Barky
Author Timpye Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I already do want more. It just seams appropriate to reply and let her know where I stand? I mean I either want a relationship or nothing, if she doesn't want anything I'm happy to move on
Chi townD Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Then move on! If she wants you or something. She has your number. She knows where you live. Let her come to you if that's the case.
barky2 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I already do want more. It just seams appropriate to reply and let her know where I stand? I mean I either want a relationship or nothing, if she doesn't want anything I'm happy to move on She broke up with you. She doesn't want anything. Sorry to be harsh. Barky
Author Timpye Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I know she doesn't want anything at the moment. But maybe one day she will. Like you said at some stage all your exes have come back to you.
organizedchaos Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I know she doesn't want anything at the moment. But maybe one day she will. Like you said at some stage all your exes have come back to you. After you leave them alone and they decide on their own to come back.
erklat Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 After you leave them alone and they decide on their own to come back. ...and you regain your power back. Send her anything and she will walk all over you.
barky2 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 And I also said it could take years man. One came back around 12 years later. You said if she wanted nothing to do with you you'd be ok moving on. She said that by her actions. So take your own advice and cut her off and out of your life, and focus 100% in you and you only. Regain your happiness, go have fun with friends. Do not speak to her, trust me, and all of us...we've all been there done that. Barky
Author Timpye Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 No worries, thanks for your help
lauri Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Dude I hate to put it to you but it doesn't sound very good for you ever getting back with her. She was ignoring you and said she only wants to be friends. When she says that it normally means her interest level in you is so low that I doubt it can ever be raised again to the point where she loves you. Now if you ever have an urge to speak to her, remember every word you say to her will make her get an ego boost and feel she can always have you. Trust me you will appear weak and no good will come out of speaking to her...she's going to bread crumb you like crazy soon so be prepared and avoid her. Keep us up to date if she messages you again and please be strong - stay NC.
Author Timpye Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 What's bread crumb? I replied to her message asking if we could be friends. I said no, I still have feelings for you and I need time and space to get over you. I don't plan on messaging her again
erklat Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Fail Fail Fail. What you plan matters not. It is the fact she got what she wanted.
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