backatone Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Well, as you all now. My ex(?) wanted to take break because she said that she was depressed and needed to figure her life out. I said fine, and walked out. She sent me an email a few days later telling me what she is doing and the steps she is taking to get her life back on track. Then i run into her the other night and we hugged and went our own ways. In the email, she said that she loved me and missed me..........ok. Then why has it been 2 weeks with no contact??? That does not seem very lovey dovey to me. So, I have not heard from her and I have no intentions on calling her. She wanted this break, why would I call? So one of my girlfriends calls me today and says that she has this gorgeous friend that would like to go out with me tomorrow night. Of course I have to go. I mean who knows what the ex means by a break.........she may never come back right??? She said that she did not want to date other people while she was on this break,........... that she loves me and can see herself spending the rest of her life with me.............that is the part that feels wierd here. I think girls say that all the time when they are breaking up right?? I know she is confused, but I dont know what to do? Help.
alphamale Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Originally posted by backatone She said that she did not want to date other people while she was on this break,........... that she loves me and can see herself spending the rest of her life with me.............that is the part that feels wierd here. I think girls say that all the time when they are breaking up right?? I know she is confused, but I dont know what to do? Help. When on "break" both parties involved in the break can do as they please because technically they are not together.
Anais Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Originally posted by backatone Of course I have to go. Why you have to? Sounds like you are looking for an excuse and encouragement to go out. I wouldn't do it until things are not clear with the "ex?". Or at least I would let ex know about it. And what a girlfriend you got that is not loosing time to find a date for you so fast?
Author backatone Posted January 13, 2005 Author Posted January 13, 2005 And what a girlfriend you got that is not loosing time to find a date for you so fast? How am I suppose to act with a girl that SAYS she loves me. But can go 2 weeks without talking to me?? That does not sound like love does it? The reason that I feel like I have to go, is because I do not know the ex's intentions. She may decide after this break that she does not want me back. How long can one person wait with their fate in the hands of another??? I love her so much, and I want to be with her. But I can't just wait around. If she knows that, it will be un-appealing to her. I thought about calling her and telling her, look I love you.......but I dont know when you are going to come around. I cant sit and wait. I feel like I need to let her go. Completely. Then if she returns.........I know its probably meant to be. This s*** confuses me.
alphamale Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Originally posted by backatone I love her so much, and I want to be with her. But I can't just wait around. If she knows that, it will be un-appealing to her. I thought about calling her and telling her, look I love you.......but I dont know when you are going to come around. I cant sit and wait. I feel like I need to let her go. Completely. Then if she returns.........I know its probably meant to be. This s*** confuses me. BACKATONE: if you come of to your g/f as a desperate and insecure doofus who does not look out for himself then it'll be the kiss of death. She asked for the break so she has to pay the price. Go and do whatever you want to and first and foremost, have fun.
angelstar Posted January 14, 2005 Posted January 14, 2005 I thought about calling her and telling her, look I love you.......but I dont know when you are going to come around. I cant sit and wait. I feel like I need to let her go. Completely. Then if she returns.........I know its probably meant to be. This s*** confuses me. Hey you, this is confusing for you because she's not giving you any answers to the situation. The word break is few and far between. I personally don't believe in it! I guess it depends on age & experience. I'm 32 and the word "Break" has no meaning! If someone wants a break they basically arent sure about the relationship anymore. This is where YOU, the person there taking the break from need to re-evaluate your own life rather than sitting around wondering what there doing with their lives and whether or not there going to make a decision. My advise is pretty much what you said (see quote) Tell her. Get some answers for your own piece of mind. If she refuses to give you any idea of where your both heading. Then tell her that you are going to start going out with other people socially as friends and if a situation arises where you like another girl you may consider asking her out for dinner or to the pub. And there you will find your answer. If she comes running back to you after you tell her this. Remember to make sure it's for the right reasons ok. Cause you two could start seeing eachother again and within a few months your at each other again and it doesnt feel right again. There is a reason for everything. Action creates a reaction! You must decided for you my friend. I'm curious to know what happened with your relationship anyway. I don't know your history. Go out on the date and have some funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Let me know how it goes too Be good Angelstar
sweetie7 Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 I guess if I were you I would go on the date. BUT, don't be angry at her for not calling you...I know she technically broke up with you, but if she's so depressed, maybe she needs you to be there for her? I don't know...
VirginiaBob Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 She knew that it would hurt you immensely to tell you that she wanted a break. So do what you want since your feelings weren't considered. I'd go out on the date.
alphamale Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Originally posted by VirginiaBob She knew that it would hurt you immensely to tell you that she wanted a break. So do what you want since your feelings weren't considered. I'd go out on the date. I agree with VB. Go on the date and if you get the opp bang this chick to all high heaven.
emerald Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 I've read the threads on this ex or not and while she may very well be depressed, from a female point of view it sounds like she's either a) confused and doesn't know what she wants or b) really has no interest and this her way of letting you down easily. I hate to admit it but while I was never depressed, if I lost interest in a guy when I was much younger, I'd say I needed my space and never bother to contact them again. On the other hand if she is depressed and shutting you out that's not good either. I hope you went on this date, because it would be foolish of you to sit around and wait, especially since you have no real idea of what's going on with her and she's not being helpful in any way. Sitting around waiting makes you look desperate and that's the last thing you want to look. I believe in fate and if it's meant to be with her it will be one way or another.
Sukotto Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Dates already been so we should ask how it went I guess?
Author backatone Posted January 19, 2005 Author Posted January 19, 2005 Well, actually I have not gone out on it yet. My girlfriend that is setting us up said that she thought the girl was available this weekend but later found out she wasnt. Honestly, Im in no hurry. Today is the 3 week mark since we broke up. It kinda feels like a long time, but in reality.......isnt. She still has my garage door opener and all my study things for my job. She knows that I need these things (I told her that before the break even). But the catch is, I WILL NOT CALL HER. I just cant think of a good reason too. I know she wanted space to figure herself out and that maybe she might be depressed. I dont know, Im just not buying it. Im gonna lay low. The way I see it, she is set free now. If she comes back.........she'll have to put on a circus act to impress me. I have been reading some threads on here and I read one that was about this lady just letting her man go. He wanted space and she gave him every bit of it. She said, he eventually came back and they are stronger then ever. Well, even if this is a small chance of happening, it either happens or I am healed and try to move on. I dont want to be with someone that does not want to be with me or feels stuck in a rutt with me. F#ck that. She is free now, without me, no burden from me, no pressue, living her life.....if she comes back, its on her own will and that will be better then anything I could have ever done to get her back. She will miss me. We did things together that would be hard to duplicate. When she finally misses me, she will contact me. Wether it be a week from now or a year. And, I will have my dignity and respect because I never did the "pressure things" to try to win her back.
alphamale Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Originally posted by backatone She is free now, without me, no burden from me, no pressue, living her life.....if she comes back, its on her own will and that will be better then anything I could have ever done to get her back. She will miss me. We did things together that would be hard to duplicate. When she finally misses me, she will contact me. Wether it be a week from now or a year. And, I will have my dignity and respect because I never did the "pressure things" to try to win her back. Excellent logic...
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