Jame22 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Long story short we had been seeing each other for a little over a month and she dumped me before our 4th date. She told me that she had some personal issues she wanted to work on and was only interested in pursuing a friendship. I talked to her off and on for a couple months. I realized that our “friendship” was pointless and painful for me. I decided to tell her one more time. I made it crystal clear that I liked her and was looking for a relationship. I never got a response...not that I was expecting one or anything but yesterday, after two months of silence, she sent me a message out of the blue apologizing for never responding to my message claiming that she “didn't know what to say for the longest time” and that she wanted to be on "good terms" and to let her know if I'm ever in town. What the hell does “good terms” mean? She has to know by now that I’m not interested in being just friends. How should I handle this?
organizedchaos Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Say nothing. She's just trying to be friendly
zoso192 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Don't be to available to some girl who has insecurities and wants to see if she can still have you. Tell her what you said. If you think she still has potential don't act so interested and let her com around to you more. Sometimes people need the ego boost, don't give it to her
erklat Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Yeah, this is just for validation. Don't respond to her. She has to show something more.
deathandtaxes Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 she's mind-****ing you. The whole 'let's be friends' is the biggest load of bull**** in the dating world. Just means they're too wussy to cut if off completely.
Author Jame22 Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I really wanted to get to know you better last year and I thought you felt the same way about me but I guess I was wrong about you. I just don’t understand how I ‘acted like I wasn't interested.’ We should get coffee sometime before you leave. If not I understand. unless you think it sounds good? I really really want to send it.
PegNosePete Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 You won't get a reply, and that will make you feel bad. Don't bother.
bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Dont send it, you will either get a vague response or nothing.
todreaminblue Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I really wanted to get to know you better last year and I thought you felt the same way about me but I guess I was wrong about you. I just don’t understand how I ‘acted like I wasn't interested.’ We should get coffee sometime before you leave. If not I understand. unless you think it sounds good? I really really want to send it. why do you guess you were wrong????? what did she say or do ......to entice someone to have coffee and to start anything new developing....i think the past doesnt need a leg up that text is a bit back handed and negative.......this is something i would send below instead just a suggestion along these lines...... Getting to know you didn't work out for me last year,cant determine why this is a new year however and i would love to grab a coffee with you before you leave. I was always interested in getting to know you better, so hopefully we can grab that coffee and catch up ...whatever happens I wish you well.Hope to hear from you soon. not exactly like that but similar no blame and an expression of interest ....deb
Author Jame22 Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) why do you guess you were wrong????? what did she say or do She was really cold with me even after I accepted her BS friendship offer. And the only thing I may have done wrong was that I moved too slow. Edited January 27, 2014 by Jame22
todreaminblue Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 She was really cold with me even after I accepted her BS friendship offer. explain cold with you?
Author Jame22 Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) explain cold with you? she stopped laughing at me. She gave a lot of short, disinterested answers, not much eye contact. I used to get smiley faces all the time when she would text. Haven't seen once since she dumped me even when i tried to be friendly. I'm convinced she was looking for a relationship. Before she broke up with me she texted me and told me that I acted like I wasn't interested Edited January 27, 2014 by Jame22
Guitarisgood Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Normally when a girl is about to dump you, you can pick out signs or changes in her which would give you a clue to such things. Once you sniff them out, pre-ept it and drop her. Learn to move on and realise there are plenty of fish in the sea. If she wishes to engage you know that it is purely for drama and you will never win her over by messaging your heart out and what not. When she 'lets just be friends you', you send a simply 'fair enough, you're right, I don't see how you and I would have worked out' - agree and escalate what shes said. THAT is the only message you send. After you have to ignore her and move on. She has made her intention clear, now is time to delete her number unless plan to be truely a friend which in 99.999999% of cases is false. Long story short - go out and meet other woman.
winny Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I think someone dumped/ignoring her and she needs some ego boost or realized how u might have felt when she dumped you and trying to see if she can make up for her behavior. Because she is in same boat as you. Doesn't mean she likes you. Pursuing anything with her might be too much painful for you. She may again string u along. It's been a long time and there are other gals out there. If it was a week it is fine but 2 months is a long time. Don't reply to her.
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