Last big attempt- ever work?

[StGeorge22]

Hey guys

 

Fairly new here.

 

Long story short, I broke up with my long term GF about 18 months ago and after not being able to sort it out and get back together (yeah I know, a year is a long time to try and work on it with someone) we have not only gone our seperate ways, but she has moved interstate because she says she can't deal with it.

 

I had to speak with her recently to organise some transfer papers and it was fine and she said she seemed happy.

 

Was speaking to my friend today who asked if I am over it, to be honest I'm doing much better and dating etc, but of course there is still that lingering question. He basically said if in the future if I still aren't sure would I consider going to her state and having one last crack to win her back etc.

 

It got me thinking, and I'm 99% sure I wouldn't do it. But has anyone ever done anything like that? And if so how did it go?

 

As I say, this isn't something I'm considering, just something that I wanted to throw out there

[LiliesNoLilies]

It's been a year and a half.

 

It may be that your ex is no longer at all the person you fell in love with. You haven't been with her in a long, long time, you have no way of knowing who she is anymore.

 

If an attempt is to be made towards her, it must be small, unthreatening and easy-flowing, much like how you would approach a brand new love interest. Because that's what she would now be.

 

And as she doesn't know you anymore either, making a "last big attempt" NOW would be creepy as hell.

 

 

 

Also, it's shock therapy. You can't shock anyone into being with you.

[StGeorge22]

Thanks for the reply and I agree 100%.

 

As I say this isn't something I'm even considering, just got thinking as to what it would even look like and if anyone else ever tried anything like that.

 

Cheers

[chelsea2011]

First, hey, if you're happy and successfully dating then why go back and open that can of worms. LOL. I'm laughing because I tried it and found out pretty quickly that you end up breaking up again over the same issues you did the first time. Lesson learned, closed the door and I'm not looking back now.

 

I'm sure there are exceptions, but I think it would involve both of the individuals self reflecting and digging deep within to figure out why it didn't work out. That includes looking at their own issues that contributed to the demise of the relationship and fixing them.

 

My best guess is that in order for it to work the foundation of the original relationship would have to have been pretty strong before the issues that caused it to fail got in the way. Hope that makes sense!