robaday Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 My female friend doesnt seem to respect me when i get into relationships. Ive known her years and weve always been platonic. There was a time some years ago where I think I had a crush on her but distanced myself from her as I respected her boyfriend and their relationship. I moved on to a relationship. My friend would flirt with me in front of my then gf and i wont lie it did cause issues with my gf at the time, by this point I had no interest in my friend and it was an annoyance as this had never been apparent when we were both single. Now, I am in a new relationship and the same thing is happening again. Yesterday she proceeded to hug me and kiss me and to be honest i was pretty angry about the whole thing....just felt disrespectful to my gf. I need this "friend" to back off and respect I am with someone. How?
Arieswoman Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Yesterday she proceeded to hug me and kiss me and to be honest i was pretty angry about the whole thing....just felt disrespectful to my gf.So have you told your female friend how you feel about her behaviour? Did you allow this to happen or did you push her off and tell her not to act that way? You need to start setting boundaries now and stick to them. If she's jealous, then that's her problem, and she needs to deal with it. If she can't, then you need to think about whether you want to continue to be friends with her. 1
whichwayisup Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 My female friend doesnt seem to respect me when i get into relationships. Ive known her years and weve always been platonic. There was a time some years ago where I think I had a crush on her but distanced myself from her as I respected her boyfriend and their relationship. I moved on to a relationship. My friend would flirt with me in front of my then gf and i wont lie it did cause issues with my gf at the time, by this point I had no interest in my friend and it was an annoyance as this had never been apparent when we were both single. Now, I am in a new relationship and the same thing is happening again. Yesterday she proceeded to hug me and kiss me and to be honest i was pretty angry about the whole thing....just felt disrespectful to my gf. I need this "friend" to back off and respect I am with someone. How? Make it absolutely CLEAR to your female friend to not hug and kiss you, that you don't like when she does that. You don't owe her a huge explanation as to why but if she pushes it just say you are not into her at all that way and it bugs you that she is affectionate with you. Now, she may be doing it on purpose to try to make your gf jealous, some girls get a real kick of competing with the 'new' girlfriend that is with their friend (aka you). 1
Author robaday Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I brushed her off and said i was going to get a beer. I also turned down a gig tonight she had a spare ticket for; she wasnt happy. Shes had a horrific time of things recently and I feel for her - lost her mother and had a long term relationship breakup. BUT this isnt the first time this crap has happened with her, shes angry im still close to her ex and pissed off i went to her town recently and didnt call her, apparently im a terrible friend. Just want a quiet life is all, she aint my mum nor girlfriend
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 But she IS possessive and feels she has 'rights' over you....Clearly she has some issues with your getting close to others that makes her defences rise and she wants to be considered as more important. She tries to get between you and your GF (whoever she may be) in order to establish herself as 'top bitch in the pack'.... I think you need to do one of 2 things: Either sit her down and ask her what the hell her game-plan is, because it's not a game you're happy playing - don't take any brush-off as an answer, or denial, or insistence that you're imagining it. OR - Slowly detach from her and contact her less and less.... In fact, even if you take the first option, the second one may be a good one to also adopt. 1
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