D.Mc. Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 Hi, new member here. I was wondering if anybody could direct me to which forum would have the most threads about the OLD world. This one or the "Dating" one?. I just started my OLD journey & I'm so confused. Although I'm going to go w/my common sense most times, it seems there are some important things I have to look out for when receiving/sending messgs. + interpreting a profile correctly. I think I already made a mistake & gave out my personal email too soon to one man...anyway I know I follow the dating site's instructions on posting & pics and all the rest but there appears to be a lot more that they don't tell you. I'm hoping to avoid a tale of woe that I would have to post on this site under "Why didn't anyone tell me"... BTW none of my friends do OLD so they're no help. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
MixedUpChick Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 Although I'm going to go w/my common sense most times, it seems there are some important things I have to look out for when receiving/sending messgs. + interpreting a profile correctly. I think I already made a mistake & gave out my personal email too soon to one man... There's really no reason to give someone your personal email, when doing online dating. Never. The standard accepted procedure is to exchange roughly 3-5 messages on the dating site (depends on each person's comfort level, though) then when you're comfortable, exchange phone numbers & move to setting up a face to face. There's no reason for them to be emailing you, and if someone volunteers their email address, don't use it because again, there's no reason for emailing. Another biggie - - If someone wants to chat on Yahoo or some outside chat program, don't. That's a trick the scammers use to get you off the dating site. If someone offers up their IM name & wants to chat, stop talking to them, block them, etc. & be done with that person. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 The 1st meeting should always be in a public place & you should arrive separately. Many women get a burner phone or a web-based phone # just for OLD. Make sure somebody knows where & when you are going on the 1st date / meeting. I used to have a friend call mid-way through. If the date was really awful, my plan was to say there was an emergency. That never happened. I wouldn't meet without a 1st & last name & a town or employment. I googled everybody before I met them just to have some point of reference that they were real. If it doesn't feel right, trust your gut. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author D.Mc. Posted January 28, 2014 Author Share Posted January 28, 2014 Thanks so much. See, I thought it was the other way around & the phone# was the thing to give out last. I sure don't want tons of spam on my email, or whatever people are upto online. I'm supposed to get the guy's last name too?...Maybe I'm not ready for this yet... Link to post Share on other sites
MixedUpChick Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 Thanks so much. See, I thought it was the other way around & the phone# was the thing to give out last. I sure don't want tons of spam on my email, or whatever people are upto online. I'm supposed to get the guy's last name too?...Maybe I'm not ready for this yet... As far as email, like I said, there's absolutely no reason to talk via email. Use the site to send messages & when he asks & you're ready, give him your phone number. Use the messaging back & forth first to vet him a bit, make sure you feel comfortable with the idea of actually meeting, and if you don't, don't give him your number. I don't use a 2nd phone, it's much easier for me to just manage the one phone I already have. But it's a cell so it's harder for anyone to look me up by my phone number, & I live in a security building with underground parking, so if someone were to actually follow me home they couldn't really get very far. I also always tell someone where I'm going, & if I have the guys name or number I give them that so if I never check in later, they know who to look for. And always meet in a public place. I once had a guy insult me for not wanting to go to his place to "watch a movie" for a first meeting, but I don't care, it has to be a public place so I feel comfortable. Basically you just want to use common sense, don't do anything you're not comfortable doing, remember there ARE some weird people out there. Most people are just normal people looking for a connection, like you. Just be smart about what info. you give out & you should be OK. Link to post Share on other sites
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