Nightingale980 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Hi all, My breakup story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/449348-what-do-i-do Short version: I broke up with my SO of 4 years at the beginning of November after feeling fed up... It was kind of a spur of the money decision. 6 weeks NC. Then we met up to exchange each other's belongings, since then I have been hopeful about us working things out. About 2 weeks ago now I gave him a book and asked him to read it, "Getting Back Together", and said that I would like to discuss it afterward. I genuinely want to make things work this time around. Since then we have hung out 3 times, and slept together (I know...). We are just keeping things light, having fun. I mentioned the book a few days ago and stated again that I would like to talk about it, he said yeah, but that he was busy with school. I am struggling with what to do next. Do we keep just "having fun" until he reads the book, or do I need to stand my ground? We have had some really great conversations in the past few weeks but I still feel like we need to sit down and discuss what we are going to do to make things last. We are not officially "back on", but sometimes it feels like he thinks we are, and that everything is back to normal. He is talking about trips we could take this summer. That excites me, but I don't want to rush in to anything. Any input would be greatly appreciated! (I realize I may not get a lot of sympathy as I was the "dumper", but I really do love him and want to be with him)
Tayla Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 A quote of yours "I know we both have a lot of work to do individually before we can think about the possibility of getting back together, or we will just fall into our old patterns and it won't work out." A book rarely "changes" the relationship, if so 90% of those who have relationship problems would have resolved them contingent on all the self help books that are out there. A book is not the panacea to what you both have to "do". -Enough said.
Author Nightingale980 Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 Sorry, I guess situations don't seem as simple when you are the one dealing with them. Our biggest issue is communication, which we have both identified and are working on. I don't expect the book to solve everything, but I feel like it is a good tool to help direct the conversations we need to be having.
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