Radu Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) Trimer made a very interesting point. You reacted emotionally, to the past mostly, through the representation of the ring. He saw his gesture belittled and saw himself laughed at. We all have these triggers, but your posts are full of what you felt, not what he felt. So i'll share what i felt. Humiliation, complete and total humiliation. One of my past girlfriends asked me to dance like a monkey in front of her and her friends for ... entertainment. This was after knowing i had a trigger in my mind about women laughing at me in public [came from other nasty situations in HS]. I blocked her number in the morning after she sobered up, the relationship was 6 months old. That event enhanced the strength of that trigger, while another guy might easily go over being laughed at in public, a fear still rises up inside of me whenever i hear the girl i'm in laugh at me in public ... is she laughing at me ? I'm better now, much better, about 4-5yrs have passed, and i'm more comfortable with women laughing in public while looking at me [because many times now they laugh with me instead of at me], but it's still there, this trigger. In his place, i don't know how i would have handled it. The old me, would have ended the relationship ... even an 18 month one. The present me probably wouldn't, not at first anyway. Edited January 27, 2014 by Radu
todreaminblue Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Hey, I know that promise rings can seem to be for that younger age group....but maybe its not so much the promise ro the ring but the spirit in which the ring was given, if it was given from his heart to yours you can see why he would be upset at your reaction.....your new bf is not the sum of all your past relationships ...he is unique ....with his own heart and who he gives it too.......which is you is unique.........his feelings and thoughts....unique...the ring ....unique.....the promise unique and individual to you......i would offer my advice to apologise and let him know why you laughed........dont live in yesterdays failed relationships..dont judge your new bf by others disregard of you.or unrequited promises..........or you will never have the chance to see where this relationship may go.....or actually know this new love at all...you possibly laughed at an expression love from him to you....for that.......he deserves an explanation and at least a chance to show you how he cares...even if you find the way he cares to be antiquated and outdated......he does not.....do you care for him enough?.or is your jaded history going to color your love life...best of luck.......deb
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