info411 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I started dating a guy I met online in August. At first he chased after me and texted and called all the time. It was a long distance relationship but we managed to make it work, however, after meeting for the first time he decided to end things saying that he didn't feel we were a good fit. I called to speak to him about his decision and we decided that we were trying to take things to fast and that if we slowed down and took it from the beginning things would be better. We then decided to date exclusively and about two weeks ago I moved a lot closer to where he is. Now the decision was solely job based as I was offered a management position that I couldn't resist, however, I was also happy to be closer to him and have the opportunity to try a real dating relationship without the distance factoring in. The trouble is whenever I have the opportunity to see him which is about 3-4 times a week he always seems to have to go running off within three or four hours. We always have a great time and I'll send him a good night text which he sends a sweet reply to each night. My concern is his need to go running off at the end of the three mark date regardless of what we are in the middle of. At times it has been a heavy make out session, watching a movie or just being out and about. He tells me he likes me and offers plenty of compliments but I'm unsure where we stand. I also have been in many bad relationships in the past where the guy has cheated on me which has me on guard in this relationship. Any input and advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
deathandtaxes Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 , however, after meeting for the first time he decided to end things saying that he didn't feel we were a good fit. So what changed? Maybe he doesn't want to see you 3-4 times a week and cuts out when he feels like he's seen enough of you when you two see each other? Have you talked to him about this?
Author info411 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 I haven't talked to him about it I haven't really wanted to push anything. I've asked him to stay but he always says that he can't for one reason or the other.
deathandtaxes Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I haven't talked to him about it I haven't really wanted to push anything. I've asked him to stay but he always says that he can't for one reason or the other. You MUST communicate for a relationship to work. It's not about being pushy. It's about being assertive. If you're not happy with what he does, you have to tell him. 1
BC1980 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 You could simply make him initiate most contact and all meetings. That would probably tell you where you stand with him. Maybe you are making it too easy for him. Do you usually initiate the meetings or the contact? If that doesn't work, I would just tell him what you would like out of a relationship and say that it's cool if he doesn't want that, but you are going to move on. That way, you don't put pressure on him, and you can bow out gracefully if need be.
Author info411 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 I agree with you except for the fact that one of the things that led to our original breakup was my insecurities and questioning what he does. He couldn't handle it and needed me to trust him in getting back together I promised it would be no questions asked
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