forgetmenot75 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I don't know if looking at pictures counts as breaking no contact. I still haven't spoken to her and deleted her off social media since day one. I can definitely feel the difficulty of the 2-3 month of NC. It's almost as if reality is finally settling and I don't want to forget or let go..hence why i looked at the pictures... It's ok, you might feel anxious for a couple of days after looking at her pics (images are trigerers) but you'll be fine. NC really sucks but you have no choice, and it's the only way you'll heal properly. Just keep the good things coming
oracle Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Discarding photos? ... Really? I was with my ex 16 years. Thats the chunk of my life 19-35. I would never consider consider throwing out photos. Hell I have month long flings that I have photos of and nostalgically look back upon. I am always thankful for having had the experience. If their photo evokes an emotional response, I am happy for having been able to bond with that person for however short or long. You don't get to erase your past with the magic eraser.. Its who you are. But that doesn't mean you sit and look at them each weekend with a bottle of wine. 95% of you on here are adults. Act like the mature adults you are. You all know whats right or wrong for you.. Nobody on here can do anything for you.. it takes YOU to really make that effort within yourself to stop the counterproductive behaviour you are engaging in. All of life is a process of letting go. Loss and grief is a normal part of life, it means ur a human and have the ability to bond with others. When your parents die, will you throw out their photos to avoid being reminded they are no longer there? No. 3
guest572 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I am with you, oracle! I guess some people can throw away those photos and memories without regret, or find it eases the pain and helps with letting go. I certainly could never part with mine, nor would I advise anyone to destroy their own. Yes I feel heartache and shed tears now but I know the pain will pass and I will be left with wonderful memories later on. I will look back and remember and learn from my past. I can lock them away if it is unbearable but don't need to destroy them in order to let go. 1
CLS63AMG Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 An ex of mine had pages upon pages of MSN convo printed off and she gave them to me for Valentines day along with a bunch of other stuff. When she left and was a total childish brat about it, I used them to start a fire in the fireplace - felt great! I also gathered up all the other junk, went outside and tossed it all in the garbage bin. Absolutely NO GOOD can come from you reading those messages. The pictures you maybe shouldn't have deleted, those are cool to look at YEARS down the road because you wont care about her (maybe a little) but you'll be more interested in what your life was like back then and what you were doing. I saved all the pics on a USB and tossed it at the back of a drawer just for that reason. Its nostalgic to go though the photos from a relationship I was in the late 90's and these pics will be fun to look at down the road too. But seriously, delete the messages - they're from a time that has passed. Time to hit delete and move on - let go.
crimsoncurrent Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I would suggest you delete those old text messages. After my BU, the last email I received from her, I kept for nearly 5 months. I remember reading it impulsively, trying to find some silver-lining in her phrasing, but it was completely useless. You don't want to generated gut-wrenching emotions by reading those old conversations, especially since the BU ended relatively recently, because no matter how you look at it, the relationship is over. I think it's helpful when someone can get to the point where they can accept the prospect that the person is gone for good, metaphorically dead in some sense, but that is a long process to get to that point. I sometimes have difficulty with accepting it, and it's been over a year since my BU. But, I do congratulate you on maintaining NC. By all means, continue NC.
SadNLonley Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 I have emails and IM conversations saved. I try not to look. Its still pretty painful. The last email I sent to him was right before he told me he had no feelings any longer. That email was basically groveling for us to get back together and read the email below that he sent me the year prior. I will not be deleting that one. It will be a reminder of how I will never ever grovel for another man. I've done it once, and that was once too many. I still have all the pics of us on my computer, put away inside a folder inside another one so I dont accidentally come across them. I still have all the cards and notes he gave me. I just put them all in a box of keepsakes in my basement. I know one day it wont hurt as bad to look at them, but they are still wonderful memories. I still have all my wedding photos and pics of me xh. Those will be items my children may want later. Just because we are no longer together doesnt mean I cant reminisce sometimes.
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