whocares18 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 (edited) Me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up 3 months ago. It's complicated so I'm going to bullet point it • he was my first love I wasnt his, but I was "one and only true love"* •we got engaged* •he lives far away, so he'd travel to see me and I told him I'd pay him back when I had the money (£182)* •we were perfect together but 1 and 1/2 year in we had to break up because our family didn't approve* •I broke it off, he agreed. It was heartbreaking for both of us but we respected our family* •he still treated me like his gf but I told him not to as it would make it harder for us to move on. We still kissed etc.* •3 weeks after our last get together he slept with another girl and according to him she wasn't a rebound, he must've been flirting with her while we met up! No girl is THAT easy.* •him still treating me like his gf caused me to felt betrayed and heartbroken, because he'd treat me like his gf even though I asked him not to, I felt led on almost.* •I was very depressed and heartbroken but he gave me the cold shoulder, he suddenly stopped caring, he wasn't there for me as a friend. And it was his idea to remain best friends!* •me being stupid begged him back, we were on and off but he seemed distant •I was going through a lot, was even in hospital for few days because of an operation and he wasn't there for me, i found out he's been meeting up his old ex for drinks while I was sick •I was going through the depressed phase of non stop crying •he blamed me for everything, even him sleeping with the girl and said it was my fault that he didn't text me after my major operation (which makes no sense)* •he later on still wanted to be friends even though I insisted I wasn't ready yet. He said I was being selfish and only thought of myself. He kept mentioning the money I havent paid him (he knows I'm broke and under a lot of stress, he swore and called me names when I defended myself. I realised he's only after his money) I haven't talked to him in 1 month now. * And when i get the money i will pay him. But I'm stuck here thinking is it all my fault? Because I was the one who mentioned the break up BUT he agreed. He's changed so fast, and the last year was hell for me. I miss him a lot. He doesn't care, he's moved on and got back with his previous ex. I still love him, he's my first love. I feel *regret, as though I'm to blame for everything*and mostly hurt. Because I know we wouldve been perfect together if all this didn't happen and we put family aside. I'm tempted to text him but he's cold towards me. I'm confused by everything and need closure. I feel so much guilt and hate myself for breaking it off. I can't live with myself. I don't know what to do.* Edited January 26, 2014 by whocares18
haven Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Dont blame urself for anything maybe all this happen for a reason for u to c the true person he is. If he loved u he wud have been there for u when u needed him. Life will get better leave the past in the past and move forward. Even if u both make up back there would be alot of bitterness between u both. Let him live his life as he choose but u have to live urs also i no its hard him being ur first and u will always remember him but there are better things ahead. As for the money part he should never ask u back for it cuz at the time he wanted to see u as much as u wanted to c him. It is not nice for him to ask back for it. That alone shows how he thinks. All the best....
maturityassets Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 If he is blaming you for everything then he is feeling considerable shame. We only blame other people for things we did ourselves when we feel ashamed to admit that jt was our own fault. It may have been for the best it ended because you don't want to be with someone who plays the blame game. Don't text him, better off without it all
Author whocares18 Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 Thank you guys, it's been 2 months NC, I feel a lot better. I think of him now and again but now that I can think with a clearer head I can see that he wasn't good for me. As for the money, I'm still unsure to be honest. I won't go out my way to give it to him, he hasn't bothered to talk to me. I told him I'll give it back in September. So if he gets in touch then then I'll know he was only after the money.
StGeorge22 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 My brother told me this once and I think it's true - it always takes 2 people in these situations. You are always reacting to the other person and vice versa. So let him blame you if he wants, it's time to worry about you
Author whocares18 Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 I know I'm trying my best. Im not crying over him anymore, just when things get really tough it hurts all over again. I saw him today and all the feelings came rushing back. It's stupid how much he effects me, he's happy without me. I should be too. But I can't seem to find closure. So many unanswered questions. It would help to hear your views on this: Since we both broke it off because of family we were single. He still treated me like his girlfriend even though I asked him not to several times, because it hurt knowing we can't be together, Whilst treating me like his girlfriend he was flirting with other girls and slept with one. Now would you guys count this as cheating/mind games? Etc We weren't technically together. But I can't help but feel betrayed :/
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