spirius Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I've recently started online dating. Had one date recently - accidentally went for dinner (bar turned out to be about 2 feet long and was packed...had to get a table). We did talk for hours, but no spark there. This time out, we've really clicked via email. Daily long messages and into all the same things, same sense of humour etc. Aside from the usual date nerves, I'm really worried that when she sees me in person, my weight will be an issue. She said she was looking for a "stocky" guy on her profile and I did specify I'm overweight on mine. But bricking it. Not exactly sure what I'm asking, but I don't want to screw it up by panicking.
Author spirius Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 Yeah, but who puts up the bad ones?
Author spirius Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 Mostly head shots, some full body ones. But weight goes up and down a lot. They are the best I had
leftfordead2 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Those full body ones, were they accurate?
Author spirius Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 Fairly representative, I guess...but, like I say, we all surely take photos where we feel better or worse about the look? In putting up a profile, I'm hoping someone will see beyond the looks and don't want looks to be a barrier. Have a couple of shots up, specify my weight and tick the "few extra pounds" box
BC1980 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Just act confident. That can make a world of difference and is very attractive. Everyone is worried about some aspect of their appearance. 2
deathandtaxes Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I'd be more worried about too much communication was taking place via email before meeting than anything else. That's a surefire way to create these unrealistic expectations of each other. There's always some expected leeway when it comes to the weight thing. If you put 'stocky' in your profile, then she's not going to expect some skinny jean wearing hipster, a gym rat, or even just some average joe. Just have fun. 1
Author spirius Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 Yeah, that happened last time. Didn't have huge expectations, but talked a lot before meeting and there was just nothing going on in person. Do feel there could be something this time, but I asked to meet up after a couple of messages. It's been about a week. Have continued exchanging messages since agreeing to meet though, obviously
BC1980 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I think the unrealistic expectations you build up are more of a problem than weight. All you can do is go in there and be yourself. There's not much else you can do to be honest. It's a crap shoot at this point. I was taking to a guy for a month before we met. He always initiated the contact and said he was super excited to meet me. We talked everyday for a few weeks. We had our date, and he hasn't contacted me since. It's super weird, but I can only guess he just felt no attraction and had built up something different in his head. The date wasn't awful or anything. We had really good conversation but no immediate sparks. My point is that you just never know until you meet someone in person, so all you can do is be confident and roll with how if goes. Just treat it like a night out with someone interesting. Don't put a lot of stock in first dates as a general rule.
Author spirius Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 That sounds very similar to the last date I went on, though I think we both mutually felt no spark despite having good conversation and a laugh all night. I did come away from it thinking that I am going to try to minimize expectations by asking to meet after a few messages. We've been talking about a week and only had to wait because she works shifts. I've been online dating for a good long time and it sucks that you can't just roll with that heart-fluttery feeling, but sadly it does make sense. Let ya know how it goes tomorrow!
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