margot13 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Basically my story is that I have been seperated from my ex over 2 months. The reason for our break-up was his depression (in which I was not aware how serious it was). In these last 2 months I have had very minimal contact with him, but have been made more and more aware of the status of his depression. A few weeks ago, I told him thatif he wasn't prepared to get any help then I was going to have to cut all contact with him. I did this because I was exhausted by all the anger on his side, and my self esteem couldn't take it anymore. I love him very much, but also knew that we would never survive unless he got some professional help, I have been busy with getting emotionally healthy again, going to the gym, enjoying time with my children (not his), and dealing with my heartbreak in the best way possible. I am a very strong single mother, run my own business and fiercly independant, have had previous servious relationships before, so I have no fairytale illusions of Prince Charming..... Two weeks ago he contacted me to inform me that he has been to a doctor and is also booked in with a pyschologist to get the proper treatment he needs. He also said he realized he didn't want to be without me, and the idea of having no contact and never seeing each other again is what influenced him to finally get some proper help. He contacts me daily to tell me what is happening, how he is doing, how he feels, and to tell me he loves me. I cautiously respond..... He wants to see me to talk about the possiblility of a future together, and I am terrified!!!! I want to believe in it but sooo scared of getting hurt and stuck in his depression again. But I do love him very much and strangely proud of him as I see him really trying these last weeks to get control of his problem. I am a person that doesn't believe life is black and white, but that there is lots of grey as well, and that all people deserve to make mistakes and be forgiven for them. I just feel soooo compromised between getting hurt again and deeply loving him. Any advice or ideas would be greatly welcomed.
darkmoon Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 (edited) I would want 3 months of seeing how he acts, not insisting this of him, but mutely observing, seeing how it goes, not rushing, I also think if he is ill long-term you should be wary of him moving in, 3 month track record of calm instead you can not cure him but might end up as a sort of generous live-in nurse to a long-term unemployed man, trial and error, as meds sometimes only work so-so, though some patients are ok Edited January 26, 2014 by darkmoon
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