milly90 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I met a guy 2 months ago whilst I was at a bar. We hit it off immediately and decided to begin a FWB relationship. Soon after deciding to begin a FWB relationship, he went to another city for a week and then slept together when he went back. He has then since been away for work for the past 2 and is expecting to get back in 2 weeks. Since then we've been texting a lot and talking on fb and I began to really click with him. Eventually as we were talking about 'meaningless and emotionless sex' and how it's not my favourite type, but I'll take what I can get atm since I have recently relearnt how to be single after a 3 year relationship, he told me it could be less meaningless and that he liked me more than he expected. I feel the same way, but this then raises a few questions... 1. Straight after he said we should see how things go but he doesn't want to settle down yet and he doesn't want to screw me over. Because of this I'm not scared he's just going to drop my ass if I emotionally invest and he finds something better. I'm 20 and he's 26 and we're on par in terms of maturity levels. I've only just completely over a breakup and am not sure whether I'm taking too big a risk by jumping into this. 2. The fact that he wanted a FWB relationship at the beginning makes me think that if anything he's a player, especially due to the age and the type of work he's in. Although he seems like a genuinely nice guy and seems to care about me, i'm not sure whether i should emotionally invest in something that seems like it would probably end in pain, but at the same time I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I know he's not in it for the sex, because that was already on the tables before we even told each other we liked one another. He told me he likes me because of how similar we are in terms of our humour, goals and personality and the fact that he can be entirely himself around me. Should I even invest in this potential relationship? What do you guys think he wants out of it?
Leigh 87 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 So he probably likes you as a person. He enjoyed hanging out. He also enjoys sex with you. He probably enjoys the sex more with you than some meaningless girl he picks up at the club for a one night stand. He DIDNT, however, fall head over heels for you. He didn't like you enough to date you or consider you long term material. I can almost guarantee that if he met a girl that knocked his socks off, he would lock her down. There are rare circumstances where a guy is genuinely not ready to settle down and he would even pass up a woman he was crazy about. It IS quiet rare that a man will pass over a girl he is realllllly really into. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I met a guy 2 months ago whilst I was at a bar. We hit it off immediately and decided to begin a FWB relationship. Soon after deciding to begin a FWB relationship, he went to another city for a week and then slept together when he went back. He has then since been away for work for the past 2 and is expecting to get back in 2 weeks. Since then we've been texting a lot and talking on fb and I began to really click with him. Eventually as we were talking about 'meaningless and emotionless sex' and how it's not my favourite type, but I'll take what I can get atm since I have recently relearnt how to be single after a 3 year relationship, he told me it could be less meaningless and that he liked me more than he expected. I feel the same way, but this then raises a few questions... 1. Straight after he said we should see how things go but he doesn't want to settle down yet and he doesn't want to screw me over. Because of this I'm not scared he's just going to drop my ass if I emotionally invest and he finds something better. I'm 20 and he's 26 and we're on par in terms of maturity levels. I've only just completely over a breakup and am not sure whether I'm taking too big a risk by jumping into this. 2. The fact that he wanted a FWB relationship at the beginning makes me think that if anything he's a player, especially due to the age and the type of work he's in. Although he seems like a genuinely nice guy and seems to care about me, i'm not sure whether i should emotionally invest in something that seems like it would probably end in pain, but at the same time I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I know he's not in it for the sex, because that was already on the tables before we even told each other we liked one another. He told me he likes me because of how similar we are in terms of our humour, goals and personality and the fact that he can be entirely himself around me. Should I even invest in this potential relationship? What do you guys think he wants out of it? No, I definitely don't think you should invest in this. He was pretty clear that he doesnt' want a relationship at this time and could be dating other girls. Unless and until you want the same things, don't give your heart to him. I think he does like you but not enough to establish a relationship with you. Not yet, anyway. If you're ok with him sleeping with and dating other girls, continue to have some fun with him. If you start to develop more feelings, I'd take a step back. He told you where he stands right now - you just have to decide if that's alright for you or not.
deathandtaxes Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 You are already invested in this guy. All your texting and communication back and forth goes beyond the bounds of a typical FWB relationship. He already said he doesn't want to settle down. There's your red flag. He's now content to sleep with you but really do nothing else. You already want more, of you wouldn't be asking us here. This cannot end well if you keep on with this guy.
ebor Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 So he probably likes you as a person. He enjoyed hanging out. He also enjoys sex with you. He probably enjoys the sex more with you than some meaningless girl he picks up at the club for a one night stand. He DIDNT, however, fall head over heels for you. He didn't like you enough to date you or consider you long term material. I can almost guarantee that if he met a girl that knocked his socks off, he would lock her down. There are rare circumstances where a guy is genuinely not ready to settle down and he would even pass up a woman he was crazy about. It IS quiet rare that a man will pass over a girl he is realllllly really into. Can hire you as a personal advisor? That was a great insight and it wasn't even about your gender
Recommended Posts