Monodare1 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Hi guys I've spent the last month or so raging that the stbxw has replaced me so quickly after we separated. I've since realised that its pointless, she will do whatever she wants and so must I. My anger could be compared to raging at the sun going down, no matter how angry I am or get, it's not going to stop the inevitable. I've also had to question the motivation of my Anger, I wasn't planning on a reunion with her and now some new guys got his paws all over her, I definitely don't want her now, so the anger had now become irrelevant. It was also partly fuelled by my father as he is raging at the fact he gave us a 10k deposit for the house (really have me it as he never really liked the ex) and had to watch as I had to leave that house as the mother in law and the rest if her brood moved in, the way my father talks it seems he hates my stbxw more than I do. So there we have it. I've decided to focus on severing our business arrangements eg sale of house, joint loan etc and make sure my son has two safe warm homes to go to during the week and weekends. I've also decided that if any interested women make advances, I'm not going to hold back, but I will make them aware that I'm not ready for a long term relationship, just fun. 1
Author Monodare1 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 In between the serious business arrangement stuff I'm aware that I'm lacking fun in my life, so yes I'll have fun but its only fair I make any women aware that that is all it will be as i need to sort everything out before I commit to anything serious.
BeingMe Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 It's hard isn't it? We can never change another person, we can only work on ourselves...but it takes a while for heart to catchup with the mind, so you're going to feel all kinds of things for a while yet. It's frustrating, but normal. As for dating? If you date now, you're likely to just be using the women for self medication. The type of women who're happy with that are going to be broken, or you're going to hurt them. You'll also be treating them like blow-up dolls who can give you an ego stroke. If you can hold off and work on you for a while (get some IC etc), you'll be healthier and attract someone emotionally healthier and end up with a truly great new relationship.
Author Monodare1 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 It's a fair point well made, I just need to have some fun, the majority of my mates are married or attached and I'm keen to have a social life. A couple of single girls I went to school with who are single have suggested meeting up, I'm sure it's for Platonic reasons so I'm interested in that.
BeingMe Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I understand. I often feel like I'd like to party as I did at college, having fun and forgetting about everything else.
Author Monodare1 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 I just feel that with everything that's been going on, I need some fun in my life, the past 8 months have been seriously heavy, just need some light relief in amongst all this darkness and hard going. I'm aware with the house sale and impending divorce that more tough times lie ahead, but if there was some happy fun times interspersed with it, it would make life more bearable. 2
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