soccerrprp Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Hmm , Its difficult. Its like the last source of contact between me and my ex. You are right, maybe I am making excuses. I will try and delete the app. Don't try, DO! 2
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 This is only my opinion but if it were me I would give the ring back asap!!! I would feel horrible selling or pawning it. I would imagine it would make the relationship seem cheap and disposable. . . . There is no price on love or relationships. Everything thing you purchase with the money will break your heart!! it would me anyway. . . . Wouldn't be a fun shopping trip for me. I don't know, maybe I'm weak but I just wouldn't be able to do it. If you give it back, you save your pride and dignity. . . also you won't have that painful reminder. Like I said it's up to you. I'm not judging. . . . just thinking . . . . . . you might find if you give it back, the feeling of empowerment. . . . and it's free! Believe it or not I thought the same, I have put the ring aside to mail it in the morning. 3
LostConfused123 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Believe it or not I thought the same, I have put the ring aside to mail it in the morning. Good for you!!
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I am feeling weak and feeling like I going to call him. Its just late way too late at night at the moment and all I want is to be near him I feel weak I dont want to break NC.
LostConfused123 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I am feeling weak and feeling like I going to call him. Its just late way too late at night at the moment and all I want is to be near him I feel weak I dont want to break NC. Then don't!!! 1
Zahara Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I am feeling weak and feeling like I going to call him. Its just late way too late at night at the moment and all I want is to be near him I feel weak I dont want to break NC. No hun, please don't do it. He said he doesn't love you anymore and even if you called him, what could he possibly give you. You could spend 10 minutes talking to him and feeling that closeness, then you hang up and you are back where you are, and this time feeling even worse because 1) he hangs up and goes on 2) he doesn't tell you what you want to hear 3) he's cold. Don't do it. The feeling will pass. You will go up and down and when you are down, you must force yourself not to give in. Contacting him will not change a thing. Tomorrow morning you will wake up and you will still be apart from him. Calling him tonight doesn't get you any closer but it's only going to hurt you even more. 1
LostConfused123 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I think I can safely say for everyone, that in the process of NC if we gave in every time we had the urge or a bad moment . . . . I don't think any of us would make it a day. Read the stories of weeks and months. . . It's not easy and those people are fighters not victims. 1
LostConfused123 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Not saying you're being a victim. . . . just sayin there's a lot of heros here 1
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I understand. I read the stories and I feel so much respect and inspiration from them. Right now all I can think is how when we were together he used to constantly tell me how he couldnt sleep without me , without talking to me nd now its the 2nd night in the row and he is indifferent. Me on the other hand , am in pain.
BC1980 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I understand. I read the stories and I feel so much respect and inspiration from them. Right now all I can think is how when we were together he used to constantly tell me how he couldnt sleep without me , without talking to me nd now its the 2nd night in the row and he is indifferent. Me on the other hand , am in pain. All I can say is that people change. I too was perplexed because my ex pushed getting married one month before he broke up with me. It's so weird. I can't explain it. 3
Zahara Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I understand. I read the stories and I feel so much respect and inspiration from them. Right now all I can think is how when we were together he used to constantly tell me how he couldnt sleep without me , without talking to me nd now its the 2nd night in the row and he is indifferent. Me on the other hand , am in pain. It's because he's probably had months to detach himself from the relationship. It was not out of the blue for him. It is for you. So while you were laughing and having a good time with him, in his head he already knew what he was going to do and was prepared for it. He was checking out over time. He was probably feeling indifferent a long time ago but they put on a show until they are 100% convinced and ready to leave. 3
guest572 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 It's because he's probably had months to detach himself from the relationship. It was not out of the blue for him. It is for you. So while you were laughing and having a good time with him, in his head he already knew what he was going to do and was prepared for it. He was checking out over time. He was probably feeling indifferent a long time ago but they put on a show until they are 100% convinced and ready to leave. This is exactly how it was for me. He had months to think about it, but it was a shock to me. He detached himself long ago but you haven't had the chance to yet. Don't fret too much about his stuff. It is just stuff. Pack it away and mail it back or get someone to pass it on to him. It is not insensitive, it is sensible! He should understand. 1
OhThatGirl Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I think you should sell it and buy yourself something immaterial but will be a nice memory like a couple nights out at a B&B or a fun day at the amusement park with your brother. Nothing like shoes. Because you'll always remember having "break-up shoes." Lol! One of the things I had gotten my ex for Christmas was a $100 gift certificate to the gun range. He liked to shoot. I do too. So when we broke up and decided to forget about exchanging gifts I really thought about using it and the money from his other returned gifts to buy myself a "breakup present" ... A gun. I ended up deciding it was a terrible idea. Not that I didn't want a gun, I'd still buy one. Just wasn't sure I wanted a "breakup gun"... Instead I rented a Mini convertible and drove up the California coast with my dog and a friend over a long weekend. Much better.
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 I woke up feeling like s**t , I dont know. I even dreamt of him and we were happy. Its 2nd day of NC. Why is it getting worse? All I want to do is text him.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I woke up feeling like s**t , I dont know. I even dreamt of him and we were happy. Its 2nd day of NC. Why is it getting worse? All I want to do is text him. Because its day 2 lol. It's still fresh. It WILL get worse.....but then it gets better. It's hard to describe, but time heals a lot of wounds. Just let it work for you. 2
LostConfused123 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I woke up feeling like s**t , I dont know. I even dreamt of him and we were happy. Its 2nd day of NC. Why is it getting worse? All I want to do is text him. You're having withdrawals. It's totally normal They will pass, I promise. Keep yourself as busy as you can for a while. It will be okay. ((hugs!)) 2
guest572 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I woke up feeling like s**t , I dont know. I even dreamt of him and we were happy. Its 2nd day of NC. Why is it getting worse? All I want to do is text him. It took over a week for things to get better for me and now its ups and downs. It is very upsetting to have these kind of dreams too. You will start to improve soon enough but after 2 days you can't expect much. 1
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 You're having withdrawals. It's totally normal They will pass, I promise. Keep yourself as busy as you can for a while. It will be okay. ((hugs!)) I am trying my best , I swear. But then I get so mad at myself for thinking about him and having hope. I know he isnt coming back. Ugh. what is wrong with me. I hate myself
LostConfused123 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I am trying my best , I swear. But then I get so mad at myself for thinking about him and having hope. I know he isnt coming back. Ugh. what is wrong with me. I hate myself Don't ever say you hate yourself again!! There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all. What you are feeling is perfectly natural and even healthy. I know how painful this is. I really really do. We all do. I didn't really "calm down" until about 3 weeks. You're doing awesome!! BUT. . . . be nicer to yourself and don't cut yourself down. Say nice things to yourself. Do you have things to keep you busy for the first little while. . . . Anything like books or hobbies or things you enjoy? Hang in there! ((hugs!!)) 2
LostConfused123 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Also, as soon as you're able to message people, you can message me any time okay?
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 Don't ever say you hate yourself again!! There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all. What you are feeling is perfectly natural and even healthy. I know how painful this is. I really really do. We all do. I didn't really "calm down" until about 3 weeks. You're doing awesome!! BUT. . . . be nicer to yourself and don't cut yourself down. Say nice things to yourself. Do you have things to keep you busy for the first little while. . . . Anything like books or hobbies or things you enjoy? Hang in there! ((hugs!!)) I know almost everyone goes through it. And i really admire all of you who havs done it. But today its too worse, all I can think is I have pushed him away. I wish I could just remove him from my mind. And I do, i like to read and listen to music but all of these things reminds me of him. I will PM you as soon as I can.
LostConfused123 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I know almost everyone goes through it. And i really admire all of you who havs done it. But today its too worse, all I can think is I have pushed him away. I wish I could just remove him from my mind. And I do, i like to read and listen to music but all of these things reminds me of him. I will PM you as soon as I can. Fill the crazy panicky time with things that don't remind you of him. I know what you mean about the music. I couldn't listen to any music whatsoever at first, then the silence was driving me mad and I could only listen to country music (not at all my thing, but didn't remind me of him at all) When I was having "freak out" moments, I baked like a mad woman. It kept my mind busy and made my house smell good. . . . of course I could barely choke food down so I would take it all to my clients but it really calmed me down when I was having anxiety. That may not be your thing but you will find something to get you through those awful crazy moments. Oh, another thing that calmed me down was walking and jogging. . . any exercise helps a lot:) You may already be doing these things and if so, then you're already ahead of the game
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 Fill the crazy panicky time with things that don't remind you of him. I know what you mean about the music. I couldn't listen to any music whatsoever at first, then the silence was driving me mad and I could only listen to country music (not at all my thing, but didn't remind me of him at all) When I was having "freak out" moments, I baked like a mad woman. It kept my mind busy and made my house smell good. . . . of course I could barely choke food down so I would take it all to my clients but it really calmed me down when I was having anxiety. That may not be your thing but you will find something to get you through those awful crazy moments. Oh, another thing that calmed me down was walking and jogging. . . any exercise helps a lot:) You may already be doing these things and if so, then you're already ahead of the game All the things that I love just makes it worse reminding me of him. I cooked , baked, read, listened to music etc etc and it al just leads me to him. I know its insane how much I am affected by it. Like for instance , he used to ask me to cook for him specially and so on. So all I can do whole day (since I am off uni) is stalk Ls and stalk him which just hurts.
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 I am sorry I feel like i am going on and on about him. Its just I have noone to talk to.
LostConfused123 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I am sorry I feel like i am going on and on about him. Its just I have noone to talk to. Yes, you do. You have us I know there are triggers everywhere. . . just avoid as many as possible. There were so many changes I had to make just to make it through a day. I didn't watch movies or tv with love scenes or anything that I knew he watched, I couldn't go to certain places, I couldn't even buy Gatorade (how crazy is that??) Just find things that won't remind you of him. I know, so much easier said than done. You can do this!! 1
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