hea Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 yes return it. You don't want to keep hold of memories. I wish you all the best. It sucks having to remove people from your life when you don't want to. 1
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 yes return it. You don't want to keep hold of memories. I wish you all the best. It sucks having to remove people from your life when you don't want to. That would mean I would have to contact him and break the NC , I dont have any such friends who can deliver it to him. What should I do?
hea Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 can you not just post it through the letterbox or something in an envelope? 1
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 Thats not possible either. They are way too many of them. Any other ways?
Zahara Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Thats not possible either. They are way too many of them. Any other ways? You can place all the stuff he gave to you in a box and mail it to him. Besides, gifts that he gave you, there is not need to return them. If you don't want it, just destroy it and pack it away. Only return his belongings. You can just return the ring if you don't want to hold on to it. 1
jphcbpa Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I have a question. Do I return our engagement ring to him? Along with other stuff he gave me? what other stuff did he give you? that ring is yours if he gave it to you and he ended it. sell it 1
hea Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I don't think you can keep an engagement ring if you aren't to get married. Whether he split up with you or not its still his until you fulfil the promise (of getting married). Has he not got any friends you can ask to come get it?
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 No I am not in contact with his friends while I am NC. I will have to break my Nc wont I?
Zahara Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 No I am not in contact with his friends while I am NC. I will have to break my Nc wont I? I think you are trying to find ways to break contact. Box his belongings and send it back. Any gifts he has given you, store it away or destroy it. As for the ring, mail it back separately. 4
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I am not trying to break NC ..Maybe I dont know. Cant I just keep the ring and return it to him when I actually feel i am over him? 1
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 Or i can drop it off at his home at the time I know he wont be there?
Zahara Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I am not trying to break NC ..Maybe I dont know. Cant I just keep the ring and return it to him when I actually feel i am over him? You tried to make excuses when it came to whatsapp. You clearly do not want to let go and you want to keep a tiny door open. The ring is that tiny door. Belongings and gifts are used as excuses and opportunities to open communication. This is why you want to hold on to it. Hopefully, in a false sense of being secure that you are over him, you will open the lines of communication re: said ring and maybe, just maybe he'd want you back, things would have changed, you could reconcile, etc. Return the ring and shut the door. If he wants you back, hell or high water, he'll find you. 4
jphcbpa Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I think you are trying to find ways to break contact. Box his belongings and send it back. Any gifts he has given you, store it away or destroy it. As for the ring, mail it back separately. gifts he has given you are yours. I would box them up, give to a friend to hold until you are over him (that could be years away). if you cant do that, throw them away. the ring. it is yours imo. he gave it to you and broke it off. he broke it off. sell it, throw it away, or mail it back to him. just do something other than overthinking this. get into action NOW. the sooner the better. 3
dreamingoftigers Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 You are doing amazing! Wow you are already switching to the practical! Good for you. I was 28 when I went through my separation and it took nerves of steel to get through it. Don't weaken your resolve. I would hold onto the ring for a couple of days to think about it. I believe it is your property now as it qualifies as a gift. But check your local laws on that. I DO NOT believe you should send it back to him. I think you should sell it and buy yourself something immaterial but will be a nice memory like a couple nights out at a B&B or a fun day at the amusement park with your brother. Nothing like shoes. Because you'll always remember having "break-up shoes." 2
Zahara Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Or i can drop it off at his home at the time I know he wont be there? Why can't you mail it back to him?
dreamingoftigers Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Or i can drop it off at his home at the time I know he wont be there? Don't go to his place. It will totally wreck you. 1
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I wont go to his place, I will keep the ring for a few days then maybe as dreamingoftigers , said sell it or something. And I dont want to mail it , I find it too insensitive. 1
Never Again Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I wont go to his place, I will keep the ring for a few days then maybe as dreamingoftigers , said sell it or something. And I dont want to mail it , I find it too insensitive. Sensitivity should not concern you at this point. 4
Zahara Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I wont go to his place, I will keep the ring for a few days then maybe as dreamingoftigers , said sell it or something. And I dont want to mail it , I find it too insensitive. Isn't it odd that the dumper has no problems saying that they don't love you anymore and walking away but then you have the dumpee worrying about the insensitivity towards the dumper all because she has to mail a ring that HE gave to her as a promise of his commitment. OP, I know you are hurting from this and it is very fresh for you. For you own sake, work towards letting go. Prioritize your well-being over others, especially over your ex. If he has no problems letting you go, receiving his ring in the mail won't hurt him, after all, he's the one that ended it. 7
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 You are right. I will mail him the ring then.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 You are right. I will mail him the ring then. Honestly, if it's about sparing his feelings...... Yeah. Mail it to him. He should consider himself lucky to get it back at all. I think you should get something for it personally. It is your property. But if it isn't something you want $ from than sure mail it off. 1
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 I think you should get something for it personally. It is your property. But if it isn't something you want $ from than sure mail it off. I am getting tempted by your idea. 1
Discover Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Sorry to bother you bubbles but i couldn't find your new thread...and about the ring...I don't know...selling it sounds..well..i don't know..not my type of thing to do..i'd rather put it with all his stuff and ignore them....don't know..it is your choice..just don't keep looking at it... and about what you said..well i am here for you too 1
Author bubblesbursted Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 Sorry to bother you bubbles but i couldn't find your new thread...and about the ring...I don't know...selling it sounds..well..i don't know..not my type of thing to do..i'd rather put it with all his stuff and ignore them....don't know..it is your choice..just don't keep looking at it... and about what you said..well i am here for you too You are not bothering me at all , I was just uh crying. Anyway here is the thread ~ https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/457641-new-playlist-post-breakup
LostConfused123 Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 This is only my opinion but if it were me I would give the ring back asap!!! I would feel horrible selling or pawning it. I would imagine it would make the relationship seem cheap and disposable. . . . There is no price on love or relationships. Everything thing you purchase with the money will break your heart!! it would me anyway. . . . Wouldn't be a fun shopping trip for me. I don't know, maybe I'm weak but I just wouldn't be able to do it. If you give it back, you save your pride and dignity. . . also you won't have that painful reminder. Like I said it's up to you. I'm not judging. . . . just thinking . . . . . . you might find if you give it back, the feeling of empowerment. . . . and it's free! 1
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