mugirl213 Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 OK, so my dilema is this... Me - 26 (soon to be 27) Female BF - 25 (soon to be 26) Male We both work for the same company in different departments. We live together and our lease is up in May. We've been dating for a year. He's not yet told me he loves me (it took him 2 years to say to his ex) because he "takes love very seriously" and hasn't said it to no one but his ex...who totally burned him. He's from New York...3 hours away from where we live. He went to school in PA and later moved to the town we live in now. His mom still lives in NY, his dad lives 45 min away in PA and his brother lives in DC...about 2 1/2 hours away. I'm from here...lived here all my life...all my family and most of my friends live here. Now...the problem. He recently applied for a job in MD, thru Monster. They called him back after 2 hours to ask him for a phone interview. 3 days after that, they scheduled a real interview. that will be tomorrow. He's meeting with 3 different people for 3 different interviews...including the VP of the company. This job is 2 1/2 hours away from where we live now. We've only briefly discussed what would happen to "us" if he moved (I'm waiting til after the interview to talk fully) and here are the facts from that. 1. He doesn't want anything to change...however I do not have a definition of this...does that mean he still wants us to live together. 2. He said I could move with him...BUT...he knows my parents are here and that I've lived here all my life. (Which is true, but I'm not oppposed to moving with him) 3. He is confident we can make it through anything. 4. If he moves to MD, he is asking for 10K more a year salary wise...and also for them to pay off his rent. Which would amount to $3500 til the end of the lease. 5. Everything in our apartment is his (except for my room) and we split all bills. 6. In all my preliminary research, there are no jobs in or around the town where his job would be that are in my area. His job is about an hour away from all major cities where I MIGHT be able to find a job. So basically I don't know what to do. I've been killing myself with this...and there are no definites yet...but I don't know what to do. I'm scared to leave behind family and friends, but I'd do it for him...IF he wanted me to. I dont' want him to stay here out of guilt. I'm just at a loss.
Hund1976 Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 I'm in a pretty similar situation. Last May I had the opportunity to move back closer to home (Boston) but decided to stay here in Texas to be with the girl I'm with. Now this summer I will probably have the opportunity to move again if I want (to Pennsylvania). And its a really hard decision. All of my family and close friends live up in the northeast and I could get a job there that I liked a lot better and make a lot more money. So I'm basically left with three decisions, stay here, break up with her and move, or move and try to have a very long distance relationship and hope that maybe she will decide to move up there when she has the opportunity. At least in your case its only 2.5 hours away. If you do move with him you can always hop in your car and drive home to visit your family whenever you want. I would recommend you talk to him about it and see if he really wants you to go. He should be willing to say I love you and make more of a commitment to you if you're willing to make this sacrifice for him. Good luck to you, I know its a really tough decision.
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