Roses777 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Well, my bipolar II ex split up with me mid-December and it looks like she's already found a 'replacement' at least a month later. She told me that she has had many boyfriends in the past (sounds like 3-6 from what I recall) across a few cities and towns. I never found out how many exactly but I would presume probably 6+. I never got closure from her -- she wanted me to just pick up my stuff and leave. Is this common for higher-functioning Bipolars to just 'up and leave' like that? She said we could not be friends and she didn't want me in her life because I 'hurt' her. For bipolars, this means that you show love.... which I have read pushes them away. She could have been misdiagnosed as Bipolar II and I am thinking she might have some Borderline Personality Traits too. Wonderful relationship for at least the first two years. Saw some great bands with her and miss the manic early days. Guess those are gone for good... The sad thing is, she cannot see that she is the cause of the "rollercoaster relationship" because she chooses to remain unmedicated..
jeremy2125 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Honestly, I would never start a relationship with someone who is mentally unhealthy. I always test girls on the first date before I make any move. Im sorry that this situation came about, girls like that make any relationship excitable in so many indescribable ways. 2 years? you must have had some cojones, I guess things went well initially? 1
Author Roses777 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 (edited) We barely lasted over 4. She had cheated on me at least once with a former co-worker. She always went to my dad instead of discussing her feelings with me. One of the last things she said to me was that I never listened to her.. yet whenever I wanted to, she said she "needed to calm down" and so she preferred to watch television than to discuss things. Not to paint her black, but there were so many other things that were weird, such as her lying about her whereabouts, insisting that she should hangout with said former co-worker at his place alone (and drinking), etc. etc. It's a miracle that it lasted that long. I messed up and put so much more effort and money into the relationship for it to simply vanish. She bad-mouthed me to all of her friends and family even though most of it never happened or was true. It's so sad because I wanted to marry her but she will not stay on her meds. Edit: Forgot to mention that she was undiagnosed bipolar II until at least 2~3 years. She was enraged when she found out but a lot of the symptoms became obvious when she hid her phone, deleted texts, wanted to keep her Facebook password separate from mine, disappearing for hours without responding, etc. It was f*cked up. Edited January 26, 2014 by Roses777
melell Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Honestly it is hard to say. But I would go ahead and say they are very flippant, you are well aware of that. I was with my bipolar ex for 7 years or so, and yeah, all the stuff you described became predictable, to the point where I wouldn't get anxious about it- I expected it. I know my ex had several 'people' before me, and people he would enjoy attention from while with me (not sex,but may as well have been), but they were all really superficial relationships. Even friendships were really intense but then burn out quickly. Anytime there was secrets or lying it was really not necessary. Being very vague etc for little reason. I always felt as though they were kind of on another planet for short periods of time. In my experience 'up and leaving' was common, but really short lived. My ex would up and leave 'mentally', first time they physically left I had enough time alone to not want it back.
Author Roses777 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 Well, my ex left back in May and came back 1-2 months later. She was crying and super apologetic and wanted me back. She had sex with a friend and her former boss so obviously that much was traumatic. She probably had sex with other males too but I never found out anything. This time, though, all of her friends and family members want her to move on. So that is something new. She has blocked me from her phone, Facebook, etc. and insisted that I need to move on since she is no longer attracted to me or has ANY feelings. She has said taht she has moved on too. I noticed that she was telling a friend that she was going to dump me anyways by the end of her classes in July so I'm thinking done is the final break-up.
pickflicker Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Honestly, I would never start a relationship with someone who is mentally unhealthy. I always test girls on the first date before I make any move. Im sorry that this situation came about, girls like that make any relationship excitable in so many indescribable ways. 2 years? you must have had some cojones, I guess things went well initially? "Test"? How?
almond Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 It's not possible to make sweeping generalisations about bipolar people and their dating habits. It varies widely from person to person. Some remaining faithful and in LTRs, some serial dating, some avoiding relationships altogether. She may not even be bipolar, but, unmedicated bipolars generally don't do well, and unfortunately, most are unable to maintain a healthy relationship. If they refuse treatment, then they will most probably remain in the rollercoaster cycle until they burn themselves to the ground and finally realise they need help. It's a shame she didn't take responsibility for her illness and follow through with treatment. There is nothing you can do until she decides to commit to getting well for herself. Unmedicated bipolars do not make good partners. Move on, cross your fingers for her, and get busy with your own life. It's not unlikely that she will come back to you if she is in a state - do not even consider taking her back until she has committed to treatment and complied for a significant period of time. 1
Radu Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Imho, you should have ended it 2yrs ago when she cheated, considering what else you wrote about her and might have known at the time.
Carly Lou Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I'm convinced mine was bi polar too as well as a narcissistic sociopath with alcohol/drug dependency. I asked him if he's ever been diagnosed, he shrugged his shoulders, laughed and said "I'm just being me". That's when I left x
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