acidios Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 today i woke up really weak....i was able to control my emotions for about a month with nc today i broke the rule....for second time. i unblocked her from fb and called her in her phone when she answer my call she said a simple what you want... i told her that i want to meet her and if she is able to go out with me.. she answer that she is allready out,that she dont need to meet me and then she hang up the phone. right now i feel really bad i was hurt for another time and most of all she not even respect me enymore we where together for 6 years and i think that she allready moved on even if she got a single" status on fb i dont know what to do enymore i am really weak and even if 3 months have passed from BU i cant keep my nc goin on i know that i broke all the major rules that we talk about here and right now i cant even block her in fb again (48 hours must pass) i dont know what to do to keep a nerve and harden my self i check her fb pic and her "new friends" i feel that i have lot my mind and i am in the same loop again
TaraMaiden Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Close your FB account completely. It's for the best. Really, nobody can do it for you. This is something you have to do for yourself. remember how bad, miserable, wretched, unhappy this makes you feel. remember these feelings the next time you want to break NC.... Because if you do, they will feel even worse. 2
JDPT Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 She couldn't have made it any clearer than that, and as harsh as this may sound you are now a thing of the past. The sooner you manage to internalize that fact the sooner you'll come to terms with the fact that it's truly time to start focusing on you. We all have our weak moments, know that that's all they are, weak moments, nothing more nothing less. Do no cave in anymore, post here when you have the urge to contact her because I know you will. We will let you know exactly what to do. 1
Author acidios Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 thank you for your replys. yesterday i was out talking with friends, they all gave me great suport and told me to be strong and move on. today i was sleeping all day i was feeling that i dont have a reason to get up from the bed. i know tha she have moved on and she lives her life but for me is really hard right now to move,the worst part is that i have built my world around her and i had the idea that she is the one and only for me. its not easy to control my mind it allways goes back to momments of my life with her i try to change my thinking keep my self in focus with something but i am loosing my focus and i am goin back to that loop. i know that this is something that none can help me and that i must face alone but its really hard to find a reason,something to boost my ego. when i am talking and i am out with friends i am fine but when i am alone my mind goes back to the painfull mode. bad part with the facebook is that i cant close my account i have great friends that right now live away and facebook chat helps us talk and gather for multiplayer video games. thats the reason that i had her banned in fb and i am waiting time to pass so i will be able to ban her account again.
TaraMaiden Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Rubbish. I shut my FB account. twice. I have since re-opened it, under a different 'name', and I only have people who matter to me, connecting with me. That's 15 people. But every one of them is there because I want them there.
Author acidios Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 Rubbish. I shut my FB account. twice. I have since re-opened it, under a different 'name', and I only have people who matter to me, connecting with me. That's 15 people. But every one of them is there because I want them there. Thank you for your reply Tara. i got only people that i know real life in facebook and i talk daily with them i have remove her from my friend list but the facebook searchbar etc allways pop up her name and photo thats something that really hit me bad and the only option is the ban. i also have removed all her family members from fb and i have to say that my account is free from her circle only one step left and that is to ban her again
Author acidios Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 So....? Take that step, of course! done she is blocked and i will not do the mistake to unblock her again i have learned from my mistake with a hard way. i must say that it is really wierd to listen a person that i had sweet talks and "i love you you love me" words everyday for 6 years to speak so cold and not even say a how are you word... the good part is that i will not do the mistake to contact her again i have deleted her phone and like you said Tara i don want to remember how bad, miserable, wretched, unhappy this made me feel. right now i will focus on nc again and my self its hard to keep my mind focus and im searching for something to hold on something new a hobbie maybe to be distracted. its really hard to change your world when you had build a world around them..yes i know it was a fake world
Author acidios Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 (edited) today its 1 week from the day i broken my NC its wierd i am thinking about it but i most of it i think the way that she talked to me. i will not tell lies that i do miss her company if we where together right now we will had our morning coffee together... those are the thoughts that i want to remove from my head the thoughts of "if we were together" that thinking it make me go back to the loop that i dont want enymore. today i will not go out i havent been paid and i have spent alot of Money this week so its one of those days that i will fight at home on my pc all day but this also its a little lie...even if i had Money most of my friends are with their girls and wifes so its not easy to say hey bro lets go out til morning comes like the old days right now i am thinking that i havent got eny new friends those 6 years i was with her... i know it sounds wierd but my life was only her i was full devoted on my relatioship something that she dint. i feel stupid thinking about it right now that i know that she is with new people having fun and i am at home thinking about her maybe this is the nerve that i have to hold and remove her from my life. Edited February 1, 2014 by acidios
TaraMaiden Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 You are perpetuating your own misery. This is what you should do: Instead of thinking of all the things you USED to do together, think of all the opportunities you now have to live an independent, free life: We used to have morning coffee together' becomes 'I can quietly enjoy some me-time alone, and go out to a nice bar for a coffee, if I want to....' When you get a nostalgic thought - turn it into a positive, about how you can now change things for the better. If you look down all the time, all you're ever going to spot, is the dog-schytt.... 1
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