Daisy2013 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Yes, I respected boundaries. He would call a couple of times per week and see me once. I didn't ask for more most times because he would get nervous he'd get caught. I never called his cell unless he was expecting me and would have it on him. Occasionally, I'd call him at work...mostly if he had told me to. I didn't want to be a pain, so I allowed him all of the initiation, which is what made him comfortable. 1
Author liloldlady Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 (edited) I don't know the OP's story...but in regards to THIS thread alone - that is really a ridiculous statement. Thank you! Anyone interfering with family time and activities is simply inviting discovery....as well as being incredibly inconsiderate. Well said. We are not "phone people." Maybe a little during the start of the relationship, before he had a cell phone, but not that often. Before cell phones? May I ask how long you've been in a relationship with this man? The break up section will show you that begging is not an act of love. Well he's been hinting for months that he may have to leave our town but doesn't want to (maybe that lady he lives with thinks a few miles would keep us apart), so I express the same thing to him. If he doesn't want to leave our town, I passionately implore him to trust that things will go his way. Someone has told him that our town is one of the most expensive in the country, and it's simply not true!! If The Temptations "Ain't Too Proud To Beg", then nor, I guess, are he & I. I never called his cell unless he was expecting me and would have it on him. Occasionally, I'd call him at work...mostly if he had told me to. This brings to mind how boundaries can change, relax even, over time. Example: I didn't bug him about it, but encouraged him to find some time for me in the evenings and eventually, gently, gradually...voila. Edited January 26, 2014 by liloldlady
Anne Boleyn Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Before cell phones? May I ask how long you've been in a relationship with this man? Before he had a cell phone, not before cell phones as a whole. We live in an area that's not a city and cell phones haven't been part of our local culture for as long as they have been elsewhere. Even now, our cell reception is terrible. He always thought cell phones were stupid and pointless. That said, our friendship was through 2007-2008, 2008 was the EA portion, then 2009 was the start of the PA. He got his cell phone in... Late 2008? Early-mid 2009? Somewhere in there. 1
Berkley Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 (edited) I never told her that she's not important to the man she's seeing... I know nothing about her and would never say such a thing unless somebody specifically asked my opinion to that specific question. I was referring to this Anne You are just not important to him. We can see it but you can't. Actions not words. Edited January 26, 2014 by Berkley
anne1707 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Berkeley I am not sure how you have done it but the first quote above was not made by me but another poster. The second quote is mine and is based on the OP's history under this username and others held in the past. 1
Anne Boleyn Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I was referring to this Anne Gotcha. Sorry. 1
skylarblue Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 LOL, why? At first, I complied. I quit using scented soap, shampoo, perfume, lotion...all things I love using. I even quit using fresheners in my car upon his request. And then I got angry. I felt like I was making all these changes and doing all these things "to accommodate her". I was mad at him for making me accommodate her. I was mad that it seemed like I was the only one making sacrifice/change. She still having her normal home life, he having the best of both worlds with minuscule effort, and me jumping through hoops so they both could reap those benefits. Pffttt. So, it basically was a "f*ck this" to what I felt was an "unfairness" in the situation, but kinda with vengeance towards him and her (if that makes any sense). Sorry for a long explanation to a simple question lol.
Author liloldlady Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 At first, I complied. I quit using scented soap, shampoo, perfume, lotion...all things I love using. I even quit using fresheners in my car upon his request. And then I got angry. I felt like I was making all these changes and doing all these things "to accommodate her". I was mad at him for making me accommodate her. I was mad that it seemed like I was the only one making sacrifice/change. Oh! You should have just gone back to your regular routines before you reached the point of anger. I was using a certain soap at his request and I couldn't find it one time so I said: sorry! He said it's OK and I've never used that particular brand of soap again. He's open minded to soap now, LOL -- even the pink fragrant stuff, he didn't complain. I refrain from burning incense while he's here, but scented candles are OK. I don't want any trouble: he and I both.
skylarblue Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I can't remember exactly, but it was something that set me off. All I know is she (by name or person) was involved and it got to me (I still was compromising though). In actuality, it made me demand more from him and he stepped up in that regard, so that was a good thing.
ComingInHot Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Lil, so the only "boundary" the MM gave you was regarding soap and you did obey the request until you ran out then you didn't. If that's the only boundary MM gave you, it sounds like you're in pretty good shape with ease of supporting MM to cheat on his Wife. Definitely makes life easier for ya*
Got it Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 At first, I complied. I quit using scented soap, shampoo, perfume, lotion...all things I love using. I even quit using fresheners in my car upon his request. And then I got angry. I felt like I was making all these changes and doing all these things "to accommodate her". I was mad at him for making me accommodate her. I was mad that it seemed like I was the only one making sacrifice/change. She still having her normal home life, he having the best of both worlds with minuscule effort, and me jumping through hoops so they both could reap those benefits. Pffttt. So, it basically was a "f*ck this" to what I felt was an "unfairness" in the situation, but kinda with vengeance towards him and her (if that makes any sense). Sorry for a long explanation to a simple question lol. I hope you see you weren't doing this to accommodate her but to accommodate him. Wow I can't believe he would have asked that. If my guy had asked me to change anything about myself I would have laughed in his face. All of this was his baby to rock not mine. The level of insult to expect that. 2
GypsumSatellite Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 I can contact him whenever I want to, but it doesn't mean I'll get a response nor does it mean he'll have his phone turned on. I just don't bother contacting him. No one likes talking to a wall. My MM only has boundaries when it suits him. He has no boundaries when it comes to his family life. 1
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