natwilliams Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 I am seeing a 22 y/o girl who is great for me in a lot of ways! I'm 29 y/o male. This is only the second girl that I've really hooked up with. I'm a REAL LATE BLOOMER! Even though she's not jewish we share a LOT of similar values, hobbies, tastes, mutual friends, etc. I feel we get along SUPERBLY. The problem is she started pushing to see me almost every day. She wants it to be super cute and exclusive (She's from Vermont so think rural, domestic, super codependent). Whereas for me, I'm more urban - I really enjoy the whole process of flirting and meeting new people non-stop - parties, activities, cold approaches, etc. PLUS I do kinda want to explore other women physically before I get old. She's asking me a lot like what I want to do - Help! Any thoughts?? Thanks
d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 If you don't want an exclusive relationship with her you need to be up front with her. You are allowed to play the field but you can't make her think that she's the only one or The One. 2
MrCastle Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 If you actually have tangible, real life people that are willing to sleep with you, and you'd rather be casual with those several people than be exclusive, I say go for it. If you're just assuming your luck will turn around and you'll find people to be casual with, I'd tell you not to put your eggs in an imaginary basket. Go with the sure thing and not a hypothetical. Girls that you are physically attracted to and who have a solid personality are few and far between. Believe me. 6
Guitarisgood Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 If you actually have tangible, real life people that are willing to sleep with you, and you'd rather be casual with those several people than be exclusive, I say go for it. If you're just assuming your luck will turn around and you'll find people to be casual with, I'd tell you not to put your eggs in an imaginary basket. Go with the sure thing and not a hypothetical. Girls that you are physically attracted to and who have a solid personality are few and far between. Believe me. Castle as hit the spot right on. You remind me of that guy from The Big Bang Theory - the Jewish guy If she is a good one, enjoy it. You can only push off exclusivitiy for so long. At the same time, 29 is not really that old in the scheme of things. If you were say 50, then I'd be worried. Have fun!
lollipopspot Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Whereas for me, I'm more urban - I really enjoy the whole process of flirting and meeting new people non-stop - parties, activities, cold approaches, etc. PLUS I do kinda want to explore other women physically before I get old. She's asking me a lot like what I want to do - Help! Any thoughts?? Thanks You need to be as honest about with her as you have been here. If you realize that she is hoping and expecting something different than you want, and you don't tell her how you're feeling, you should know in yourself that it would be using her if you had sex with her just to "explore other women." It would be pretty low to do that.
deathandtaxes Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 You really need to tell her that you're not ready for being exclusive. This is a real chance to learn how to act and be mature with other adults. Not telling her that you want to play the field makes you a player. Do you like seeing her a lot? Is this a lady that you see yourself having fun with and possibly more? If so, take that jump into the relationship and commit to being more with her. If not, be honest with her. I married the third woman I ever slept with. unfortunately, it didn't work out. And it wasn't because I wanted to go play the field. I was very happy being married and never really thought much about her being only the third woman I had slept with. Having a lot of the same value and getting along great are worth way more than wanting to try out other women, believe me.
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